Pips Parental Tip of the Day

Pipsqueak · 01-11-2009, 04:39 PM

THIS IS A STAR TIP

Make sure you get a receipt and guarantee from the hospital/doctor/midwife when your child is born. If they go 'faulty' you can then take them back and get a refund.

Brian has informed me that we didn't get a receipt or guarantee when ours were born - such was our belief and joy and this apparent little angel in our arms (x3) would remain so! My argument to this is that no-one told us what was we were going to be up against

Today - all three of my horrors have finally gone faulty together...... their voices have been stuck on a loop of: 'muuuuuuuummmm..............' so much so that I snapped in Morrisons..... yes yes I did......... and I slung a packet of frozen chicken breasts that I was holding back into the freezer (poor bloke stood next to me jumped a mile) and the darned ruddy box popped open just to cap the whole day.

I was a parent on the edge...... after a whole week of constant eardrum battering (it ought to be an offence punishable by gagging) of whinging and whining, tears and tantrums and being told that I am the worlds worst.

TheBTeam · 01-11-2009, 04:41 PM

sorry just really laughed, love the receipt bit, mine would have been returned with the 10 year guarantee!!

**gegele** · 01-11-2009, 04:46 PM

can't found any receipt...

I nearly exploded this am ! Mum, mummy. muuuum, mmuummmyyyyyy, maman and all declination of the word should be banned!!! at least for a day!!! we should have a mummy off day everymonth when governement would provide free child care for a day and cleaners!!!!! not too much to ask!

i'm going to work to my second job son and i'm glad! LOL

Pipsqueak · 01-11-2009, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by gegele

can't found any receipt...

I nearly exploded this am ! Mum, mummy. muuuum, mmuummmyyyyyy, maman and all declination of the word should be banned!!! at least for a day!!! we should have a mummy off day everymonth when governement would provide free child care for a day and cleaners!!!!! not too much to ask!

i'm going to work to my second job son and i'm glad! LOL

lol - did tell the kids I am changing my name and I am not telling them what I will be answering to in the future!

**Lick'le Oakes** · 01-11-2009, 04:53 PM

but also

Pipsqueak · 01-11-2009, 04:54 PM

I have decided to write a book of Parental Tips - Things They Don't Tell You

Do you think it would be a good seller? Do you think it would help towards controlling world population?

or entitled - Mum - On the Edge.....

Tips:

Don't tell the children your name or give yourself a title - this way they cannot get your attention

Invest in some good earplugs or MP3 player and a paid subscription to a music download site

Teach children that silence is golden

**Twinkles** · 01-11-2009, 04:59 PM

The volume control is broken on my teenagers. It goes from VERY loud playing of guitars/music etc , to mumbles and grunts. Nothing in between

**Bananabrain** · 01-11-2009, 05:29 PM

Good old Pip, you are so funny {I know you weren't meaning to be}
My eleven yr old has developed an attitude the size of China and his fave at the mo is 'mum................can I have?'
Just constant can I haves.
I made him try on trousers in the shop today{no changing room so in between clothes rails} huge song and dance!!!
I told him it's my turn to get my own back 'cos my mother used to stand me in the middle of the shop and poke me and prod me and brush me down.
I don't know how you do 3, seriously I don't.

Pipsqueak · 01-11-2009, 05:35 PM

oh Louise - that is on my next bit of TIPS for the DAY:

'I want......'
'Can I have.....'
'But....'

I had to say all of this in a funny way otherwise I think I would explode!

Told Brian I was going to boil my head in oil - without laughing he walked of muttering I shall go and put the pan on ready for you

Living in a household full of males really does put a woman on the precipce of insanity <heaves a big sigh>

I am beginning to think my 11yr old son is a girl trapped in a male body.... he has got PMT - seriously. Its not the onset of puberty its PMT

**sarah707** · 01-11-2009, 05:48 PM

I totally sympathise

Nobody warned me they didn't come with an off switch!

Pipsqueak · 01-11-2009, 06:01 PM

Next Tip:

Nothing you ever do will ever be considered 'fair'

**ORKSIE** · 01-11-2009, 06:24 PM

I wish they'd with batteries

**Twinkles** · 01-11-2009, 08:01 PM

Next tip;

Please remember you will be the worst mother in the whole world and no-one's mother ever says/does makes them do that !

**breezy** · 01-11-2009, 08:13 PM

Apparently I'm embarassing, but I thought I was supposed to be?

We got ds from Argos and forgot to take him back before the end of the 16 day money back guarantee, or so we tell him.

Dh is deaf in one ear and even he threatened to change his name today and he can only hear half what they whinge about

Pipsqueak · 01-11-2009, 08:20 PM

Every one I have spoken to has said that its been a really tough going half term with the kids. Its been blooming exhausting and the kids have been really hardwork!

Roll on tomorrow 9am

Blue Boy · 01-11-2009, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by breezy

Apparently I'm embarassing, but I thought I was supposed to be?

We got ds from Argos and forgot to take him back before the end of the 16 day money back guarantee, or so we tell him.

Dh is deaf in one ear and even he threatened to change his name today and he can only hear half what they whinge about

I'm also going deaf and it drives me mad that I can't hear what I want to hear, so why is it they I can always he Muuuummmm, whinging, I need, Iwant etc etc.... ?
Hope it will all improve tomorrow pip.

Ooops just realised I'm logged in as Mick! - sorry its Sally, I log out and log back in, bye!

**breezy** · 01-11-2009, 08:25 PM

Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

Every one I have spoken to has said that its been a really tough going half term with the kids. Its been blooming exhausting and the kids have been really hardwork!

Roll on tomorrow 9am

If only! dd goes back tomorrow, ds tuesday, mindees school WEDNESDAY!!
Although saying that it's been my two giving me grief!

**nannymcflea** · 01-11-2009, 09:08 PM

After a week of whinging,moaning and arguments I made up a new rule today.

"Whinging and moaning will get you a job"

Today E got 5 jobs and A got 1. It was great having someone else fill and empty the tumble drier,make cups of tea,set the table and make drinks,clean the window sills,empty the bin and put the towels away.

BUT it did start working.

Pip if you ever find your reciept please scan it and copy it so I can use it too!

**Playmate** · 01-11-2009, 09:12 PM

Originally Posted by nannymcflea

After a week of whinging,moaning and arguments I made up a new rule today.

"Whinging and moaning will get you a job"

Today E got 5 jobs and A got 1. It was great having someone else fill and empty the tumble drier,make cups of tea,set the table and make drinks,clean the window sills,empty the bin and put the towels away.

BUT it did start working.

Pip if you ever find your reciept please scan it and copy it so I can use it too!

Back as me now

Jobs sounds like a good idea, the way mine whing I wouldn't have to lift a finger again

**PixiePetal** · 01-11-2009, 09:16 PM

Originally Posted by nannymcflea

After a week of whinging,moaning and arguments I made up a new rule today.

"Whinging and moaning will get you a job"

Today E got 5 jobs and A got 1. It was great having someone else fill and empty the tumble drier,make cups of tea,set the table and make drinks,clean the window sills,empty the bin and put the towels away.

BUT it did start working.

Pip if you ever find your reciept please scan it and copy it so I can use it too!

Think I will try that one on my two. As they are teenagers I might get told where to put my jobs though and I can guarantee DD would not have time between jobs to breathe

Bless her, 15 yrs old and exams over the next 2 weeks

Highly stressed. I am trying to keep calm