packed lunch issues.......

[Louise0208]

im having problems with a child/parent i mind.

i make a nice lunch for the kids including fruit, berries, salad, veg, sandwiches, buffet style finger foods, yogurts etc, i charge £1.20 (also includes all day drinks & snacks)......it certainly costs me more to do a lunch but any higher & parents wouldnt pay.

Dad of 3 yr old boy has said he cant afford the extra £1.20 (3 days a week) and has started sending LO with a 'packed lunch' (and i use the term lightly) every day for the past 2 weeks he has had 2 squares of bread & butter ....nothing else!

LO has been trying to pinch food of my DS plate which is a big fat no-no....nobody gets in the way of my daughters food & lives lol.....he cries everytime he doesnt get the same lunch as DS, iv felt sorry for him & gave him a smaller portion the past few days but i cant afford to keep doing this (we use a lot of tropical fruits, berries, dips etc which are not cheap)

iv said to dad its not enough, especially now hes started school in the mornings & is physically burnt out by lunchtime......so now hes started putting in ham (the wafer thin sort....more protein in a beer mat! ) again i said he needs a more balanced lunch... but he says thats all he gets at home but with sweets throughout the day (which they dont get here unless its friday & im in a good mood )

I dont think its fair that i charge the other mums for lunch & he thinks he can get it free (he knows im topping it up cus LO is telling him)

shall i carry on feeling guilty & giving him just his sandwiches, it breaks my heart.

BTW im not willing to change my lunches to fit in with LO, i have been feeding my own kids lunches like this for the past 13 years & even take them to school every day

Advice pleeeeeeease

[Pipsqueak]

I think I would be having a word - formally that what he the parent is providing is not adequate or substantial enough. I would be noting the conversation and his response
If it continues I think I would log it as a concern.

Perhaps you could offer to do a smaller cheaper version for them.

perhaps money is a genuine issue???

[sarah707]

The Eyfs says that we should provide parents with information about healthy packed lunches if they send them.

I have a leaflet that I give that shows what we normally eat and it explains that if children come with things not on the list then they get sent home.

If parents do not provide an appropriate lunch then you need to speak to the dad again, explain your policy again, explain why you want the child to have the same kind of food as the other children... and say that if they can't send the appropriate food then you will...

Well it's up to you. You can ask for him to be collected to be fed elsewhere / bill the amount you charge for lunch and withhold care until it is paid / end the contract / see the child go hungry...

Trouble is, while you are topping him up dad is winning isn't he?

Hth

[Tealady]

Could you increase your hourly rate and include lunch in that? I know if money is genuinely an issue it mighn't make alot of difference but if he's trying it on it might stop him.

[onceinabluemoon]

isn't this neglect???

I would be having words with the school if the child is at school and seeing what you could both do to help the child, especially as the father has said this is all he gives the child at home too. How can 2 squares of bread and butter be enough for a five year old? Its only half a slice of bread...

[Louise0208]

< Personal information removed by moderator>

i shall print out my healthy eating policy again & tell him to sort out better food from monday & if its not sorted by next friday i shall have to provide it & invoice him.

i shall log all concerns from now.

LO is already under the health visitor as he is struggling

[Pipsqueak]

LO is already under the health visitor as he is struggling

you have every right to make this a concern and an urgent one at that. personally i would not be leaving it too long before you are contacting someone.....

[lorraine04]

I have a similar issue with 15mth old i mind, he gets a tin of cheap ravioli and a packet of raw spaghetti for me to boil every day!. So i begun giving him half and half of each in his bowl for lunch and dinner...then started adding my own food to give him a balanced diet. Spoke to mum and she just says er ok and then sends him with a tin of cheap spagetti in sauce instead. I provided meals for him yesterday as she said she had no food in and within the rush of children leaving forgot to ask for payment. She never offered the money either so will have to chase it up next week. Got to feel sorry for the kids.

[watgem]

poor little one and poor you I've had this in the past, child sent with a huge jar of brastwerzt sausages or a box of broken biscuits, and provided the food for free myself in the end its a shame that parents whose children would be entitled to free school meals couldn't have the entitlement if their child attends preschool care. I hope you can get something sorted soon it sounds like dad couldn't care less though doesn't it?

[The Juggler]

if dad knows you are having to top up then that's out of order. I would tell him what needs to be in lunchbox at a mininum and say if he can't provide enough food, you will provide it and you will invoice him for it.

Maybe ask him is he restricting food on advice from the HV and maybe you should speak to her again (I know she won't have advised this but maybe bringing her into the conversation might make him see sense).

[mushpea]

I dont understand why you would top it up for free when you charge the other parents for food,, i would either top it up and put it on his invoice or just give the child what is provided by the parent,, if a parent provides a lunch box then that is what I will feed the child, it may be that the parent doesent want him eating a big lunch or prehaps they dont like the idea of the child eating lots of berries and yoghurts,
mine all get sandwich, fruit,either a sausage or cheese string and either a snack a jack or crackers. I provide this within the hourly rate they also get fruit at snack time. I make my own bread and fruit is banana, apple, grapes, satsuma, watermelon etc
I dont charge for lunchs as I prefer all the children to have the same choices so there are no stops at mealtimes.

[Louise0208]

i top it up cus im a sucker & i know full well its the only 'fresh' & healthy food he eats (dads joked that if its not deep fried or gets delivered then they dont eat it)

[tinkerbelle]

i had this problem with a 8 year old mindee and her mum
the child had no teeth at the back either side and at contract signing mum stated she ate anything so the first day of the holidays i fed her the usual sandwhich with cheese spread yoghurt and fruit the child refused to even try anything
the next day mum informed me that she had provided a packed lunch as the 8 year old child could not chew bread as she had no teeth at this point child comes out with a sausage roll in hand. checked the lunch box when we arrived home to find 2 cereal bars cocoa pops ones, a chocolate mouse, choclate buttons dessert, dairylea lunchables,and a penguin bar complete rammel nothing of nutritional value at all, explained to mum i would not be able to feed her child this after that one day as the other children where eating what was provided free of charge for her to report me to ofsted for not feeding her child what the parent wanted luckily when ofsted saw the photo of the lunch box they soon realised why i wouldnt serve it

[littlegremlins]

Lots of suggestions and advice already given but could you afford to give the additional nutrition and just put it down as an expense against your tax bill, for the sake of boy getting right food and you not being out of pocket (in a around about way) I'd do that if you can't resolve it some of the other ways suggested.

[Ripeberry]

Could you increase your hourly rate and include lunch in that? I know if money is genuinely an issue it mighn't make alot of difference but if he's trying it on it might stop him.

I don't charge extra for food as it's all part of the hourly fee. Food costs at the end of the day are estimated and put down as an expense. Every little bit helps to bring down the tax bill.
Also, it stops people bringing 'rubbish' from home and I can feed everyone the same thing (unless they have allergies/religious) and then there is no squabbling

[clio0602]

TBH if I were you I would increase the daily fee and include lunches in the daily fee. Just give the correct notice.

I decided to include everything incl nappies wipes to save the hassle of reminding parents all the time. I also give all lo's the same food so there is no jealousy or problems with parents bringing unhealthy/ inappropriate foods. The only time I had packed lunches was with a food allergy.

It must be hard seeing a Lo hungry not sure I'd be able to stop myself giving extras.

Hope you get it all sorted soon x