help = screamer

[carolyn01]

Hi ladies,

Im an experienced childminder but am going to have a 'screamer' start from september 4 days a week 7 - 5 and I want to start as I mean to go on! She has only had one settling in session for a couple of hours but only stopped crying when I took her out for a car journey and seemed happy. I get the impression she will be ok in a buggy but I can't go out 4 days! She wouldn't let me put her down indoors and I had to hold her constantly but obviously i can't do that with another 1 year old (not walking) at home and a 2 year old. She is very sweet and smiley with mum here but has never left mum and I need to start a routine now but if she keeps screaming for me the other mindees are going to start too. I don't want everyone else disrupted. I will have a 4 week notice period but really want to have her as she is lovely.

[green4lynn]

I would suggest to mum that you all spend some time together over the summer holidays so she gets to know you as a friendly face. Perhaps get mum to leave the room for a few minutes once child is settled so you can get down and play with her. Maybe you could go to her house so she's used to seeing you around, and you can see her at home to get more of a feel for her likes and dislikes.
A friend of mine had a screamer and it ended up disrupting all the other children so she had to let him go, but it was only 1 day a week which isn't a lot of time to try and form a bond with a child!
I have a little boy who went through a phase of crying everytime I moved from his side, it took a while to resolve but once he realised I wasn't going to leave him he soon settled down. Now he just comes up for a quick cuddle to reassure himself that I'm still there, then plays happily.

Good luck, hope she calms down and all goes well for you!

Lynn x

[angeldelight]

Little one might be ok once settled with you ?

I think a couple of hours is nothing - you imagine being in a room with someone you did not know I think I would want to scream too ha ha

Seriously though I hope she settles with you once she starts because my screamer went on for 3 years ha ha

Good luck

Angel xx

[marnieb]

I've had my screamer for almost 5 months now.....

What I did was take baby steps/ I tried doing 'tough love' at first, and leaving him to cry, and only pick him up when necessary, but that didn't work with him, but it might with yours.

I then changed tactic, and took him EVERYWHERE with me - to the loo, kitchen, changing other mindees bums - I will be honest, it was tough! After a few days he stopped crying all the time, and I could sit next to him instead of holding him, then I'd slowly move away to interact with the other kids, and after about 3 weeks I was able to leave the room.

Very time consuming, and yes, I did feel like I was neglecting my own kids and the other mindees.

Then the screamer was off ill for a week and we were back to square one!!

And be warned - it wont matter how hard you work if mum is constantly picking him up at home. I asked mindees mum if she was carrying him around all the time and she swore blind she didnt, then I spoke to 2 people who'd been to her house, and found out from them that mum IS carrying him all the time - my friend's quote - 'the ONE time she did put him down, he held his hands up and she picked him straight up again'.

So, lots of luck to you!!!!!!

[carolyn01]

thanks for the replies ladies - i'm not sure if i'm going to be able to cope now especially with the others but I will give it a go! The problem I have is one i have now is leaving october so don't really want to give this one up!

[angeldelight]

thanks for the replies ladies - i'm not sure if i'm going to be able to cope now especially with the others but I will give it a go! The problem I have is one i have now is leaving october so don't really want to give this one up!

Just make sure you think of yourself and family if you find it too much

Good luck

Angel xx

[carolyn01]

well luckily my daughter is going to uni (hopefully) in september so it will just be me, the dog and two cats so I can devote my time to childminding and hopefully she will settle