Totally blinking had enough!

[littlebears1009]

So fed up this morning! Last 2 days with lo today and tom thank goodness! Mum arrived ten mins early just as I was putting my washing out so now that's waiting in the basket until I have time to put out. Should have left her at the door I know! But she's early because lo is tired (at 7.50am???) and was falling asleep! I have problems with this lo he is 8 month screams literally all day sometimes hysterically and breathlessly because the only way he sleeps is on the breast at home! Mum knows I am struggling with him (she said last week I should just cuddle him all day as that's what he wants) I just laughed at her as I have 2 dd of my own (one of whom was woken from his screaming this morning)! So I am angry because mum could have let him go to sleep and then just gently transferred him to pram and wouldn't have been early and wouldn't have made it harder for me! And also he would normally come thurs and a few week ago she booked that day off with him and last week asked if it would be deducted from fees I said no as per contract. I now get the feeling she is planning on bringing him as she said last full week? I have a clause in my contract that 7 days is required to change hours and I am really looking forward to not having this lo an extra day than I need to. If she just turns up thurs am I within my right to turn her away and quote the contract?

[Mouse]

I wouldn't wait to see if she turned up on Thursday. I would remind her at pick up time that tomorrow is lo's last day. I couldn't be bothered with the waiting to see whether or not she arrived on Thursday.

I would also remind her at pick up time that you can't take lo in before 8am tomorrow, so would she mind not arriving before them. Or just let it go for tomorrow as it's the last day and jump for joy when they leave tomorrow afternoon

[ziggy]

I think i would have her in for a chat and go over contract

[littlebears1009]

I did give a little remark of oh your bright and early this morning! I am also a little annoyed though that she knows I have had problems with him screaming all day because of his refusal to sleep and she has also stopped bringing his comfort blanket which was a major help with his sleep! 2 hours of screaming if he is still crying at lunch time I feel like calling and asking her to find a way to get the blanket to me! My children are asking to go to family members house so they don't have to listen to the noise and also missed out lots last week because of this lo! 5.16 tom I will have a bottle of wine open as he leaves at 5.15! X

[Mummits]

Why on earth would Mum stop bringing the poor child's comfort blanket? I'd be concerned that she is actually setting you up to fail. Perhaps she wants you to give notice so that she has an "excuse" to be a SAHM. Or maybe she is jealous of you getting to spend time with her baby so wants him to be miserable ~(messed up I know, but she wouldn't be the first). I would be asking for a meeting to discuss how you can both address the child's apparent settling issues, and return of comfort blanket would be number one on my agenda. I'd also want to know about his routines at home, and make it very clear that cuddling all day long is not an option for you and that it is not therefore helpful to do that at home. If parents (especially Mum) are not on board, you are bound to struggle with the little one. I think they pick up on parents' ambivalence or anxiety.

[littlebears1009]

Why on earth would Mum stop bringing the poor child's comfort blanket? I'd be concerned that she is actually setting you up to fail. Perhaps she wants you to give notice so that she has an "excuse" to be a SAHM. Or maybe she is jealous of you getting to spend time with her baby so wants him to be miserable ~(messed up I know, but she wouldn't be the first). I would be asking for a meeting to discuss how you can both address the child's apparent settling issues, and return of comfort blanket would be number one on my agenda. I'd also want to know about his routines at home, and make it very clear that cuddling all day long is not an option for you and that it is not therefore helpful to do that at home. If parents (especially Mum) are not on board, you are bound to struggle with the little one. I think they pick up on parents' ambivalence or anxiety.

This week is my last week with him as I gave notice because A. It is making me miserable and B. I am going back to study teaching in September. She asked me to carry on without my Ofsted reg as the reason I have given notice to stop now instead of sept is that my reg runs out on Thursday. I obv said this is against the law and I wouldn't want to anyway with this lo. I have to be careful with what I say as she is a step sister of a close relative. I have dropped things into conversation and also his gran who I am friendly with looked after him before me as she went back to work after a month. His gran said he cries a lot and she has tried with mum but gave up as said she was sticking nose in! I really want to tell her that she needs to make changes before he goes to his next carer as she's going to encounter the same problems. And I did think has she stopped bringing the blanket because I gave notice and isn't bothered whether he is hard work for me! Also he wasn't sleeping at home either so I think maybe if he is having a hard day here he may be sleeping at night? He only goes to sleep on the bust at home, she co sleeps, she also gets up in the night and watches cartoons with him if he wakes up and won't go back to sleep! Sounds awful but just really glad it won't be my problem after tomorrow! X

[Koala]

It's tough but you have done all you can, overcoming lo's issues can be done but when their entangled with their parents issues, it's virtually impossible if they aren't willing to address it. For what it's worth - i'de probably do the same

Good luck in your new venture.

[littlebears1009]

Thank you! Also doesn't help that he doesn't have milk from a bottle, doesn't eat anything. When he's here in the 9.25 hours for 3 days a week he might eat 1 small yoghurt in a day and refuse juice. Mum thinks this is ok, I think it's awful but hey ho, she doesn't get the screaming! X

[muffins]

Thank you! Also doesn't help that he doesn't have milk from a bottle, doesn't eat anything. When he's here in the 9.25 hours for 3 days a week he might eat 1 small yoghurt in a day and refuse juice. Mum thinks this is ok, I think it's awful but hey ho, she doesn't get the screaming! X

this actually brings tears to my eyes that this poor little mite is going so long on such little food and mum thinks thats ok. No wonder hes cries all day, he's not only away from being in his mother's arms which is all he has ever known but will also associate being at yours with the pain of hunger. Would she not give you expressed milk for him?

[mum67]

Wow really feel for you on this one and the poor child, he must be shattered. Screaming all day each day you have him I would've gave up ages ago, the poor child is going to have so many issues settling in wherever he goes if this mum doesn't get a grip soon. She isn't doing herself or the baby any favours for the long term.

Must revisit my settling in policy to make sure I have a point in there about something like this happening. This isn't your basic settling in issues it goes far beyond. It falls into neglect if she isn't providing bottles for him, he must have belly ache all day long, maybe that's why he is screaming he wants food. My grandson is a real crank if he doesn't get his food on time and he is 11 months. Come to think of it so am I

Hope you and your children enjoy your scream free days

[littlebears1009]

I've asked about expressing and she said she has tried with family members he won't take milk from anything other than the breast. It isn't right what he eats and it's sad, she says she just gives him a sandwich, now I have tried that bearing in mind this baby has no teeth (I had to do it so I could say I was trying everything I could and she suggested) and when he's finished pulling it apart I actually pieced all the bits back together and he had eaten nothing of the sandwich. Mum is a nice person she is just getting things a little (lot) wrong. She isn't bothered that we have to be silent when he does eventually go to sleep because at home they also have to tiptoe and jump over creaky floorboards so as not to wake him! I've tried suggesting she play a little music or radio outside his room so he gets used to drifting off to music but pretty sure that just went right over her head! I just think seriously? I couldn't live like that at all, baby must practically rule the household!

[mum67]

I've asked about expressing and she said she has tried with family members he won't take milk from anything other than the breast. It isn't right what he eats and it's sad, she says she just gives him a sandwich, now I have tried that bearing in mind this baby has no teeth (I had to do it so I could say I was trying everything I could and she suggested) and when he's finished pulling it apart I actually pieced all the bits back together and he had eaten nothing of the sandwich. Mum is a nice person she is just getting things a little (lot) wrong. She isn't bothered that we have to be silent when he does eventually go to sleep because at home they also have to tiptoe and jump over creaky floorboards so as not to wake him! I've tried suggesting she play a little music or radio outside his room so he gets used to drifting off to music but pretty sure that just went right over her head! I just think seriously? I couldn't live like that at all, baby must practically rule the household!

That one has always puzzled me the way people say shush you'll wake the baby or tell their other children to turn things down while the baby sleeps. I have always found they sleep through anything. How many of us have been in pontins club at night and the little ones are snugged in their prams fast asleep oblivious to the band playing, the parents shouting over the music whilst the children run around playing. Or the police helicopter hovering over your house at daft o'clock at night-wakes you up but not the lo's.

I agree put the hoover on, play some music or carry on chatting around him it's normal and it's what we do in the real world. This mum is making a rod for her own back and I feel for her in the next few years as she is going to pay highly for it. But telling family members who try to give advice to stop butting in isn't fair if they are only trying to help. You know she is going to get the old "I did try to tell you but you wouldn't listen" comment further down the line.

She seems headstrong at doing it her way though.

[mrsb79]

That one has always puzzled me the way people say shush you'll wake the baby or tell their other children to turn things down while the baby sleeps. I have always found they sleep through anything. How many of us have been in pontins club at night and the little ones are snugged in their prams fast asleep oblivious to the band playing, the parents shouting over the music whilst the children run around playing. Or the police helicopter hovering over your house at daft o'clock at night-wakes you up but not the lo's. I agree put the hoover on, play some music or carry on chatting around him it's normal and it's what we do in the real world. This mum is making a rod for her own back and I feel for her in the next few years as she is going to pay highly for it. But telling family members who try to give advice to stop butting in isn't fair if they are only trying to help. You know she is going to get the old "I did try to tell you but you wouldn't listen" comment further down the line. She seems headstrong at doing it her way though.

Please take my boisterous noisy mindee who keeps waking the babies . Were day four into the holidays and every day he manages to disturb them baring in mind they sleep through the noise of the radio the TV and even the Hoover so I have absolutely no idea how he manages it but it's every time

[mum67]

[QUOTE=mrsb79;1372161]Please take my boisterous noisy mindee who keeps waking the babies . Were day four into the holidays and every day he manages to disturb them baring in mind they sleep through the noise of the radio the TV and even the Hoover so I have absolutely no idea how he manages it but it's every time

[mrsb79]

He's just very much me me me and I think he has autistic traits which I mentioned to mum so I'm currently running a now and next schedule to lessen the pestering and his insecurities. He is the only mindee I have full time so to speak during the holidays all the rest are part time but there's always someone for him to play with but he takes it to the extreme and games always end in tears as he can become nasty and he always wants to play fight which is not acceptable. I'm persevering as he clearly needs help but my goodness he's hard work. I'm looking forward to tomorrow as he's off as it's his birthday so will have a much calmer day tomorrow. I'm open to any suggestions xx

[mum67]

He's just very much me me me and I think he has autistic traits which I mentioned to mum so I'm currently running a now and next schedule to lessen the pestering and his insecurities. He is the only mindee I have full time so to speak during the holidays all the rest are part time but there's always someone for him to play with but he takes it to the extreme and games always end in tears as he can become nasty and he always wants to play fight which is not acceptable. I'm persevering as he clearly needs help but my goodness he's hard work. I'm looking forward to tomorrow as he's off as it's his birthday so will have a much calmer day tomorrow. I'm open to any suggestions xx

Enjoy your day off he sounds a real live wire. One of my son's friends at school was like that, it was a shame for him (and anyone around him) as he didn't understand why people would get annoyed with him in his eyes he was just being him. The first time he came for tea he would talk very loud and ask trillions of questions,open my drawers and tell me to neaten them up lol he even told my son to tidy his bedroom and not expect me to do it for him (angel). That didn't work though.

His mum asked me when she picked him up if he was good. I replied "Yes he's just a loud talker, he told me to tidy my drawers and my son to tidy his room and I never got to answer any of the many questions he asked me because he moved onto the next one too quickly". "But I like him because what you see is what you get" I don't like the ones who act all shy at first and then show their true colours.

He came a few times after that and then he was assessed for ADHD and was given medication, I even told his mum I would never let my children be given drugs just to make them quieter or sit down more to please others, that I thought it would change him and make him rely on them.

It was a shame to see as time went on how much he was confused if he didn't have is medication and staff shouting at him in school even though they knew it was his mums fault for not bringing it not the poor kids. I let rip on one member of staff for getting him into trouble for being his normal self that day as he was obviously withdrawing, she was crying and saying she couldn't cope with him at lunchtime (she whinged and moaned at anything by the way). He was so upset and didn't know what he had done. Yet the staff member didn't shout at his mum at home time for not bringing his meds in funny enough.

Sorry for babbling on as usual I can't keep things short, sorry.

But again have a good day tomorrow.

[gwm]

Littlebears1009, how did your last day go ? Hope you are enjoying the peace and quiet

[littlebears1009]

Littlebears1009, how did your last day go ? Hope you are enjoying the peace and quiet

He was quite different actually however after the day before I purposefully browsed for activities so I was strong and persevered with his morning nap, went on an organised nature trail in the afternoon and then I took him swimming whilst my girls were in their swimming lessons. So he was sort of rested and busy although he only ate half a tiny yoghurt all day again. On the horrid day I text mum in the end as he made himself vomit with his screaming and she suggested I lay on the bed with him until he falls asleep. Now baring in mind she is aware I have my own 3 yo and 6 yo at home I was gobsmacked! Obv I didn't do it. I ended up sitting on the utility room floor whilst he calmed in the pram as I was terrified he would be sick and choke or something. Today has been absolute bliss and I think my girls are happy to have their mummy back! And thank you for asking GWM!

[gwm]

I am glad that you and your girls can have fun together. Have a lovely summer

[mrsb79]

Thanks mum67 thought I would have a mini lay in but my princess had other ideas and now she's just been sick so even though I'm a monkey down I think it's gonna be one of those days x