Fear of pooing

[Maria Pia]

I was wondering if anyone had any advice. One of my LOs, 40 months old, has been finally potty trained during the Xmas holidays. He is very good with his wee-wees, all in the toilet/potty, no accidents, but is terrified by pooing. He is really stressed out, so much so that he has started chewing his clothes. He can spend the whole day up and down the toilet/potty worrying about pooing and then when eventually does it, he is fine!

Has anyone had a similar experience?

Maria :-)

[shortstuff]

My boy was the same, he waited until we put his nappy on at night time. I think it just takes a calm relaxed atmosphere and lots of oraise when it is done.

[nipper]

Sometimes they have a phobia about something leaving their body. To a little child there must be nothing worse than seeing your poo go down the toilet...

[RuthJ]

Yes. my little boy was exactly the same. He is 3 years 7 months and we have only in the last 8 weeks or so seen an improvement in that he will actually say now "I need a poo".

Before then he would hold it in and become increasingly aggitated and anxious. He has never been constipated so we're not sure where the fear came from. He rarely had a full accident in his pants, but would leak throughout the day. He'd literally be sweating and crying on the toilet, not because it was painful but because he was trying to hold it in We found blowing bubbles helped, singing, chatting. Anything to relax him really. Also cuddling him whilst he was sitting on the loo helped him to push it out. I'm sorry this is so graphic!! Thankfully we are over it now, and like I said, he will tell us needs to go, and also occasionally takes himself without telling us. He does sometimes still ask for a cuddle while he's sitting on the loo though, but I'm happy to oblige

It will get better but for my DS we had to be very patient and the worse thing was to make a big fuss about it and get worked up ourselves as it just made him more upset. My cousin is a HV so gave me lots of info, and my auntie is a school nurse so I wasn't without support thankfully. Have you thought of speaking to your HV?

[TNT]

I am having the same issue with my nearly 3 year old, my older son was the same. He will only poo in a nappy, which is fine when he has a nap in the day but that is not every day anymore so I now just put a nappy on him so he can poo. It is not ideal and I would much rather not do it but he was so stressed about it.
I really like the idea about the bubbles as distraction, am going to try that!

[Maria Pia]

Yes. my little boy was exactly the same. He is 3 years 7 months and we have only in the last 8 weeks or so seen an improvement in that he will actually say now "I need a poo".

Before then he would hold it in and become increasingly aggitated and anxious. He has never been constipated so we're not sure where the fear came from. He rarely had a full accident in his pants, but would leak throughout the day. He'd literally be sweating and crying on the toilet, not because it was painful but because he was trying to hold it in We found blowing bubbles helped, singing, chatting. Anything to relax him really. Also cuddling him whilst he was sitting on the loo helped him to push it out. I'm sorry this is so graphic!! Thankfully we are over it now, and like I said, he will tell us needs to go, and also occasionally takes himself without telling us. He does sometimes still ask for a cuddle while he's sitting on the loo though, but I'm happy to oblige

It will get better but for my DS we had to be very patient and the worse thing was to make a big fuss about it and get worked up ourselves as it just made him more upset. My cousin is a HV so gave me lots of info, and my auntie is a school nurse so I wasn't without support thankfully. Have you thought of speaking to your HV?

I have advised the parents to talk to the GP and/or HV, hopefully they will do it. We tried all sorts, including blowing bubbles, I may need to give more cuddles! He is not constipated either, he says it hurts but I think it hurts to hold it in... poor little mite :-(

Glad to hear is a common problem and it does get better.

[RuthJ]

I have advised the parents to talk to the GP and/or HV, hopefully they will do it. We tried all sorts, including blowing bubbles, I may need to give more cuddles! He is not constipated either, he says it hurts but I think it hurts to hold it in... poor little mite :-(

Glad to hear is a common problem and it does get better.

Sorry, I was in parent mode that's why I asked if you'd seen your HV

Hope he gets better soon.

[Becci26]

It seems pretty common in boys, I have a lo here who is 4 next month and still have toilet problems.
Mum took him to hv, and she gave them a story book called mr poo or something, and that did the trick for him pooing in the toilet at home (prior to this he would just go in his pants and would happily sit in it for hours if u let him)
Still wont poo anywhere other than at home but at least there's progress!

[Paulab]

One of my twins has done this ever since being trained at 2.5 would only poo in bedtime pull up, then he started holding onto poo, getting himself terribly constipated & then in a vicious circle , poo too big & hard, took him to docs who put him on latctolose medicine & movicol when it got to bad,

When he went to school he seemed to sort himself out a bit !

Now at 6.5 we have relapses, he won't go in school at all, so I make him sit on loo in morn & at least try to go, when had a good few months when he was about 5 we stopped all medication & ended up at square one !

He has a very healthy diet loads of fiber & fruit & veg,

It's more common it boys than girls, & usually sorts itself out by the time the child goes to school,

We still have battles & when Jack disappears into the dining room Straight after school, I know he's holding it in, & I make him go, poor lad :-(

Have a look at this Information on Constipation and Soiling for Parents

Hope this helps Paula x

[Maria Pia]

Thank you so much for all the advice, he is getting better with pooing but he chewes his clothes a lot... Xx

[jillplum]

Glad things are getting better. Lots of my school age children chew their cuffs!

[ceegee]

My son chews his clothing (but he has Autism and this is a common trait)
We give him a chewy tube - google it. His speech therapist gave it to us a few years ago, and they are much more commonly used now.
I found myself taking my sons tshirts off him as he was always wet or would chew holes and bite buttons on half, but when I took clothing off him he started chewing his hands or feet!

Look at chewy tubes or chewerly to get some ideas.

[ceegee]

Also if children have a fear of pooing (again my asd son has) we sit him on toilet with a harmonica or bubbles with his feet up on a stool.
Breathing and knees about bowel work well.

It could be with some children they are slightly constipated and it hurts to have their bowels open.

Sadly, I'm a self confessed expect on poo and bowel issues and what bowel drug does what thanks to my son