Cross with my daughter

[Happy Bunny]

She hasn't even bothered to look for any sort of work for the past 6 months, even though I have nagged her.
Her excuse is that she can't find one which will accommodate her one day a week college course.
I can't afford to have her living here paying nothing.
Ideas LOL

Teenagers are so difficult!!!!!!

[PixiePetal]

sympathies from me!

my DD is full time college at the moment - not going to Uni so will finish in the summer. She has done really well and works so hard but nothing lined up so far for after

watch this space!!

[rickysmiths]

My ds has been the same! I can't get him to get out there. Trouble is he doesn't go out much, split with his girlfriend in Nov so there is no insentive to earn money!

[Happy Bunny]

She is quite prepared to go out with her friends and boyfriend and not come in till 1am Grrrrrrrrrrrr.
I won't give her any money either thinking that might give her a kick up the bum.

Think I might just go out and get some application forms for her LOL

[singingcactus]

If she's over 18 then you don't need to support her. She needs to get down to the job centre and sort out what is available for her. There will be lots of support for students.
If she is under 18 then she is your responsibility and you do need to support her. Perhaps you could help her get a more full time college course going on, rather than only one day a week...not sure what she is studying for at only one day a week. I'd be wanting my children to be getting more out of college.

[mrs robbie williams]

my dd is doing an apprenticeship at a school - 5 days a week 8 til 4 the apprenticeship includes an admin course fully funded which she does one day a week at the school and gets paid £100 a week xx

[ajs]

She is quite prepared to go out with her friends and boyfriend and not come in till 1am Grrrrrrrrrrrr.
I won't give her any money either thinking that might give her a kick up the bum.

Think I might just go out and get some application forms for her LOL

Just cut her off from all services, no washing clothes make her wash her own, no money for definite, don't make life particularly pleasant for her. She will soon get off her backside

Tough love is the Only way I am afraid

[littletreasures]

Unfortunately, most of the jobs require them to do an online application.

My daughter came home from working in the Bahamas for a year in September. She trawled through so many applications and got very disheartened. "Even McDonalds dont want me, Mum" was one of her sayings.

I was lucky in that she was desperate to get out there and work as she needs to save money up to do her Masters in Hawaii.

She was lucky and got a week's temporary work at London Aquarium for half term in October and then a temporary job in Debenhams for over the holiday starting mid November, but for only 16 hours a week. She went on the first day and hated it, but was prepared to stick with it. On her way to the bus stop the next day she got a telephone call from London Aquarium offering her a full time job starting beginning of December.

She went in to Debenhams and handed in her notice. They weren't not happy, but she was thrilled.

Every day she comes home and says what a great day she's had. So, if anyone's visiting the Aquarium look out for Sam. She will be the one with a huge grin on her face and almost bouncing with enthusiasm

She gets so many compliments from parents with the way she talks to their kids, getting down to their level etc. I knew me minding would be a help to them.

Good luck, stick with it and keep on at her. Make her do some jobs for you, such as cleaning out the oven, doing the ironing. She will want to try and get a job, just to get out the way!

[Playmate]

Just cut her off from all services, no washing clothes make her wash her own, no money for definite, don't make life particularly pleasant for her. She will soon get off her backside

Tough love is the Only way I am afraid

I agree, mine have been told, full time education or a job. DS19 at uni and working Thurs, Fri eves and all day Sunday. DD 15 will leave school in summer to go to college full time and she has completed her CV and is in the process of distributing lots of places to work p/t at weekends.

[The Juggler]

what a lot of rubbish hon. it may not be a career job but certainly she can work in a shop/bar/bowling alley or similar until college is finished. Tell her she needs to find the funds to contribute towards her keep (set the amount reasonable) or tell her she will just get the basics and no treats.

[Splodge]

I am so glad this is not just my ds. He went to college and finished after one year saying he would rather get a job and then made minimal attempts at getting a job saying that there were no jobs to get so why bother trying.

We gave him the housekeeping to do and paid him in new clothes and money for nights out with his friends. Plus he had also to get up at the same time as me as if he was going out to work, as he felt he should be allowed to stay in bed.

He was put on courses by the local authority but ended up missing many of the sessions and was thrown off them. He wanted his independance and to do everything he wanted and in the end we said he had to make an effort or go live with his friends in a flat share.

Two months before his 18th he left and i was devastated, but it has been the making of him. He is a completely different person and realises he has to do things for himself and manage his life and he tells everybody that his parents were very brave in letting him go and finding his own way in life, and that nothing would have changed if he had stayed at home. I am glad in hindsight we did it but it was heart rending at the time

I know all young people are different and i know this doesn't answer your question but it might help to know that other people are having similar problems and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

[Happy Bunny]

Thanks for all your replies.
Yesterday I left all her washing in the basket, didn't save her any dinner (she went out at 5pm)
Tried getting her to do jobs around the house but its a half hearted effort so I end up having to redo it myself.
Will try all the other ideas tomo as she is at college today LOL.

[zippy]

I know you've stopped the money, but in my mind it's time for tough love, no more buying her make up, hairspray, magazines etc, no more of her fab chocie biscuits in the cupboard, she gets her meals and that it, like someone else said no more mummy services, you could even stretch to making her hand wash hehehe, or am I being a bit cruel now lol. Trust me the tougher you are the quicker shell come round fingers crossed