"Dying to be thin"

[samb]

Did anyone watch this last night? It was awful - had me choked up at these poor kids who really believe they are happier if they are very thin. It also made me feel like I really need to be careful about the words I use in front of my daughter. I talk about feeling too fat etc in her hearing. I don't want to be one of those Mums from the programme who are worried about losing their daughters.

[sarah707]

I didn't see the programme but I remember years ago a child local to me wasted away after her mum went on and on about dieting. It was so sad

[Pipsqueak]

This is extremely close to home for me.


Even having boys - I see the media effects it has on my lads about the pereceived 'perfect' bodies lads are supposed to have.

I have always been one to celebrate the body in whatever form it takes and I am careful not to allow children to say too fat, too thin - well bad body image really.

[Cassie]

Bear with me..this could be a bit like a counselling session for me! My son had an eating disorder for 10 years. He was a promising footballer and went into an academy at 9.At 10 he had an injury that stopped him training for 6 months,when he returned to the academy he was given a diet and training sheet.....As a family we all supported him by eating healthly, what i failed to notice was how my son avoided meals.
When we realised how ill he was we were helpless...He wouldn't talk to us, he wouldn't talk to the doctor! We watched him starve himself,he had no energy,was cold all the time, didn't leave the house and became obsessive about routine.Football was what started his issues but he was so weak he couldn't run the length of the field...
At 19 i noticed a change..only small things at first but he started to ask for different meals, and began to socialise more. I don't know what the turning point was but thank god it happened.
I am quite a private person and apart from family i have never talked about this. I'm sitting here in tears because i've finally stopped blaming myself. Society does this to people..every magazine you pick up has pages of people who have lost weight/put weight on, everybody strives for perfection. I look after a 3 year old who told me she didn't want a cake because it was fat food....where has this come from at 3!
Thankfully my son is over the worst.He still has issues with food and i think these will always be part of his life,but he has just joined the police force and seems happy and content..what more could i wish for..

[mushpea]

im so pleased things worked out for your son,,you have nothing to blame yourself for and all of society to blame it on in my oppinion
everywhere we got its diet, overweight,etc,, the goverment are so focused on things like change for life that they are mising what they are actualy doing to young people,, there are so many things now that encourage us to eat and be healthy that people take it to the extreme because they are worried about their wieght due to this type of thing,, it really annoys me and im sure there would be less eating disorders if the goverment stopped going on about weight

[The Juggler]

Bear with me..this could be a bit like a counselling session for me! My son had an eating disorder for 10 years. He was a promising footballer and went into an academy at 9.At 10 he had an injury that stopped him training for 6 months,when he returned to the academy he was given a diet and training sheet.....As a family we all supported him by eating healthly, what i failed to notice was how my son avoided meals.
When we realised how ill he was we were helpless...He wouldn't talk to us, he wouldn't talk to the doctor! We watched him starve himself,he had no energy,was cold all the time, didn't leave the house and became obsessive about routine.Football was what started his issues but he was so weak he couldn't run the length of the field...
At 19 i noticed a change..only small things at first but he started to ask for different meals, and began to socialise more. I don't know what the turning point was but thank god it happened.
I am quite a private person and apart from family i have never talked about this. I'm sitting here in tears because i've finally stopped blaming myself. Society does this to people..every magazine you pick up has pages of people who have lost weight/put weight on, everybody strives for perfection. I look after a 3 year old who told me she didn't want a cake because it was fat food....where has this come from at 3!
Thankfully my son is over the worst.He still has issues with food and i think these will always be part of his life,but he has just joined the police force and seems happy and content..what more could i wish for..

oh hon so glad he reached a turning point. how awful for you.

[Pipsqueak]

Bear with me..this could be a bit like a counselling session for me! My son had an eating disorder for 10 years. He was a promising footballer and went into an academy at 9.At 10 he had an injury that stopped him training for 6 months,when he returned to the academy he was given a diet and training sheet.....As a family we all supported him by eating healthly, what i failed to notice was how my son avoided meals.
When we realised how ill he was we were helpless...He wouldn't talk to us, he wouldn't talk to the doctor! We watched him starve himself,he had no energy,was cold all the time, didn't leave the house and became obsessive about routine.Football was what started his issues but he was so weak he couldn't run the length of the field...
At 19 i noticed a change..only small things at first but he started to ask for different meals, and began to socialise more. I don't know what the turning point was but thank god it happened.
I am quite a private person and apart from family i have never talked about this. I'm sitting here in tears because i've finally stopped blaming myself. Society does this to people..every magazine you pick up has pages of people who have lost weight/put weight on, everybody strives for perfection. I look after a 3 year old who told me she didn't want a cake because it was fat food....where has this come from at 3!
Thankfully my son is over the worst.He still has issues with food and i think these will always be part of his life,but he has just joined the police force and seems happy and content..what more could i wish for..

Oh I am SO glad you son is on the road to recovery Its a parents natural instinct to blame themselves, to think they should have seen earlier etc.

Having been through dancing school myself I saw first hand the 'issues' with food and having to be 'right'. Thankfully never myself - I loved my food!

It must be recognised that boys suffer from these sort of problems and there is probably more stigma attached to it than girls. For anyone an eating disorder of any kind is hard and so so tragic.

[Mouse]

I'm so glad it worked out well for your son & hope he continues to stay happy & healthy.

I know I was headed towards that slippery slope in my teens/early 20s and it's surprising how easy it is to find yourself there. Now I'm at the other end of the scale and often wish I could have found a happy medium.

[stardust]

im so pleased things worked out for your son,,you have nothing to blame yourself for and all of society to blame it on in my oppinion
everywhere we got its diet, overweight,etc,, the goverment are so focused on things like change for life that they are mising what they are actualy doing to young people,, there are so many things now that encourage us to eat and be healthy that people take it to the extreme because they are worried about their wieght due to this type of thing,, it really annoys me and im sure there would be less eating disorders if the goverment stopped going on about weight

Here here! and shazapod i'm glad hes finally pulling through.

My best friend in school went through a stage of beliemia (sp?) and it was heart wrenching to watch and being 14 had no idea what to do. Luckily by telling someone she is now fine and eating properly. She's still concerned about her weight but not so bad. I weigh 13 stone and am a size 16 (though I get told I don't look it) and I am happy with myself. My 16yr old sister keeps saying 'oh i cant eat that it has to many caleries' she's a size 8! I keep telling her the being too thin is bad for her and that men prefer a woman with some sort of waist.

There was a program on a while back about obese children. I honestly think that in the case of a child being 3 times the average weight for their height is down to eating habits. There was one girl about 2 screaming for a kebab and mum gave it to her. mums words were 'its all she will eat if I don't give it to her she wont eat'. In this case I think the parents were to blame, a child of 2 shoudl not know what a kebab is unless its a mouthfull on occasionally. I honestly felt ill watching a 2 yr old eating an adult sized kebab and then downing a whole bottle of coke.

Im not slating people as the situation varies in most cases I don't believe its the parents fault. I think situations such as annorexia and belimia and some cases of obese people and children, self confidence plays a big part.
Starving themselves to be like the models or comfort eating or starving themselves because they are being bullied.

I try to instill a sense of positive image and self esteem in all my children. we talk about the food on our plates and about our bodies. If a child says they dont like something of theirs i say i like it so they feel better. x

[samb]

Your stories are all so sad. sorry if I stirred up things you didn't want to think about. It must be so difficult to see this happen to someone you love and so hard to help them through.