My DD (aged 3) im so upset :(

[*donnalouise*]

Im not sure if this is actually related to childminding...but here goes.

Tonight my DD has not gone to bed as usual. As I was putting her to bed she has had a massive screaming hissy fit. To which i replied I will not speak to her when she is doing that and closed the door.

She continued to scream / shout for sometime 'I want my blanket straight/want my doll/want a cuddle/drink etc etc' I went in again , and told her that you do not speak to people like that, shouting does not get you your own way... when your calm.... etc etc'. This carried on for over an hour before she finally 'gave in' and went to sleep. I went in several times.

Part of me just wanted to give her a cuddle as I was really upset too, but thought that would defeat the object. I didnt want her thinking she could scream and shout at people like that and everything would be ok.

To say this has upset me is an understatement. Im sat in floods of tears.She normally goes to bed fine, and although can have her 'moments' I've never seen such behaviour from her before. Im dreading tomorrow, as I know im gonna have to talk about this and possibly give her some sort of sanction (as i really dont want her to think this behaviour is ok!)

Can anyone suggest where I go from here??

Ive been minding since sept... just one baby mindee, along with her baby sister and all has been fine. New boy just started - just a morning school run - a boy who she already knows. They have seemed to get on great and have played together well. Not sure if this has upset her without me even realising??

To make matters worse I usually have to wake her in a morning... now she has been 90 mins late sleeping - she is gonna be a real grump in the morning.

Sorry thats so long. I needed to get it off my chest X

[*donnalouise*]

I should add. she is almost 4, and pretty good at expressing herself verbally.

[venus89]

Oh dear - it's awful when they do things out of character. Could she be coming down with something? I'm sure, especially as she is good at expressing herself, that you'd know by now if she didn't like your job, although it's natural for them to feel a little jealous sometimes.

For what it's worse I imagine she's punished herself already by not getting you when she was screaming (well done for sticking to your guns!)

Could she be tired? If you have to wake her up maybe she's just worn out? And she's probably getting more tired from having playmates round than when it was just you two...

Hugs - hopefully she'll wake up sunny tomorrow x

[butterfly]

My DD (aged 5) generally goes to bed fine but very occassionally does exactly what you've described! It's generally a combination of being very tired and her feeling that I've been busy with other children rather than her (often occurs on my most busy days).

Firstly - this is not your fault and you dealt with it perfectly. She has learnt that although you love her, you are still in charge and she cannot behave like that.

Secondly - this is quite normal and all kids go through it. She wants your attention and decided this was a good way to do it!

My advice is continue as you are - give her attention and special time during the day (my D loves reading so i make sure that bedtime story time is very special and we talk about her day and i ask if she has any worries etc) but stand your ground if she displays this behaviour again. I often find myself saying 'mummy loves you but i do not like this behaviour'!

[mufftie]

oh no its awful putting them to bed upset , i feel that she was probably overtired , my youngest daughter (6) gets wound up like this when shes tired , chat to her in the morning but im sure she will just feel silly for acting up

[*donnalouise*]

thank you both for your replies. Its set me off again. LOL. I cant help but think now, she has gone to bed totally upset with me.

I was so unprepared for this, its come completly out of the blue and knocked me for six!

Today has been a very busy day, and she hasnt had much 'me' time come to think of things. She did get a story (which she loves), but it was a brief one as I had to put her sister to bed who was 'grumping' from tiredness!

I will ensure she gets some one to one time tomorrow. Do you think i should discuss with her in the morning?

[MAWI]

Sounds to me like OVERTIRED or coming down with something, Sure she will be fine. My daughter gets like this once in a blue moon ( now 9) and it has virtually stopped. Normally such a well behaved child. I do exactly as you have described and have now learnt to chuckle about it, Hubby and I now look at each other and say 'OVERTIRED', which she ends up laughing at as she is getting older
Big hugs, all will be fine xx

[breezy]

Totally agree she just sounds completely overtired, my dd is still getting tired after the Christmas break! Takes a while to get back to routine, you so did the right thing, dont beat yourself up about it, she'll learn x

[RainbowMum]

I agree you handled it well, if you feel you want to air it in the morning I would keep it simple - e.g. 'we didn't have a very nice bedtime last night did we?' If she agrees with you simply say 'Lets have a better one tonight shall we?' Then have a big hug and leave it behind you.

Hope she's not coming down with something - My DD is the opposite - always plays up at bedtime but when coming down with something she goes out like a light for a couple of nights before

[FussyElmo]

I personally wouldnt mention it. Im a firm believer in starting each new day with a clean slate and its totally forgotten about especially if its out of character

[PixiePetal]

I would not mention it either. You stuck to your guns and she went to sleep - all done.

Start afresh in the morning and have a good day

[merry]

I personally wouldnt mention it. Im a firm believer in starting each new day with a clean slate and its totally forgotten about especially if its out of character

Totally agree with this, it happened yesterday, you dealt with it very well then, I'd leave it there. Hope you're feeling better about it this morning and she doesn't wake in too bad a mood.

[wendywu]

She is acting in a very normal way, most children have the odd hissy fit now and then, no matter how mild mannered they are. There are no rules that say children have to be perfect all the time.

And you dealt with it just right, so dry your eyes and give yourself a pat on the back.

Today is a new day, so just act as if it never happened