wat do i do bout this

**carebear25** · 26-03-2009, 02:31 PM

Help!!!

I am going to look after my friends ds (16mths) for a few hrs a week wit a view 2 more hours if she gets a job soon.

We have been havin a few setttlin in sessions recently an he has been fine until 2 day.

My ds who is same age has decided over last few days that he is a bit of a bully an keeps pullin other lo's over. (he only seems 2 do it at home thou an not when out at a group) This upset friends ds an when it cum time 4 her 2 leave him he was quite upset an didnt settle an sat on my knee 4 an hr sobbin on & off. He wasn't lookin 4 her so that wasnt the prob i'm just a bit worried in case he does that wit any other potential mindees.

My friend isnt worried by it which is lucky I guess.

Any advice on how 2 handle situation.

**gracey** · 26-03-2009, 02:33 PM

this is nice of u to do

**Roseolivia** · 26-03-2009, 02:37 PM

I look after my friends son (2 1/2yr) for a few hours a week and he used to try to bully my daughter (2yr) and my daughter was scared of him but now it's sometimes the other way round. My friends not bothered and thinks it'll do her son good to be stood up to especially as we're all going on holiday together in the summer.
My advice would be to not leave them alone together and tell your son off when he's misbehaving. Your son will soon get over it and want to play with others

**huggableshelly** · 26-03-2009, 04:19 PM

I would sit him down and say no its not nice to push, you might have to do this several times so he understands.

**carebear25** · 05-04-2009, 08:36 AM

Originally Posted by huggableshelly

I would sit him down and say no its not nice to push, you might have to do this several times so he understands.

He's started doin it when we r at toddler group now and even with the older one's, he's only 16mths but he is tall an cud easily pass for older. I do take him away from situation an talk to him but it doesnt seem 2 understand (which u can expect)

**carebear25** · 28-04-2009, 12:30 PM

well 2 weeks have passed an he is still doin it.

gettin really worried now, when at home i can handle it but it is frustrating.

i just dont know how 2 get him 2 stop, hes even hittin mindee other head now with cars an toys

Pullin my hair out so please help xx

**Blaze** · 28-04-2009, 12:37 PM

I'm really sorry, but I can't understand your posts!

**carebear25** · 28-04-2009, 12:42 PM

My 17mth old son is hitting, pulling over an pushing my mindee who is the same age.

He has know her since birth as she is my friends dd an we spend a lot of time 2getha.

Friend has gone back to work an I am minding ds 3 days a week.

I dont know if my son is jealous or it is just a stage he is goin thru but im worried that he will really hurt her or another child when we are out and about.

I think it is a bit of jealousy but not sure

Does that make it clearer x

**RainbowMum** · 28-04-2009, 12:43 PM

My DD was 2 when I started minding and she could be a bit mean to the smaller mindees, you need to be consistent, if hitting with a toy I would take it away and say we dont hit and then turn attention totally away from him - talk to mindee, cuddle them if upset, play with them if not. Same if pushing/pulling say no we dont push and again no more attention for him - all for mindee. I know its hard but if you are consistent and kepp attention for the unwanted behaviour to a minimum it will pass eventually. You can also keep an eye out for triggers, times of day or toys etc that make him more inclined to do it to try and pre-empt it and divert before it happens.

Big hug though - I know how hard it is - DD is now 4 and much better but I'm afraid it was a good 6 months hard work xx

**ddw** · 28-04-2009, 02:00 PM

Try and think of this from your son's point of view. Your his mum and now you are giving care and attention to another child in his home. As a child I don't think I would have liked my mum looking after other children. Make sure you give him lots of love and attention whilst you look after other children

ddw

**Andrea08** · 28-04-2009, 02:01 PM

hi,,ok stop ,, first it is normal for this age to push and hit out,

my mindees did it to new mindees untill they settled in,

you need to be consistant and have a behavioural management policy in place and stick to it even if it means your own son has to "take time out",,,, on a cushion close to you ,,,(not in a corner on his own!!!)

if a parent gets upset you need to show that you uses your behavioural policy with your own children as well as the mindees!!

ask yourself what does your son love most?? is it a car ?? take it off him and put it where he can see but not get too and tell him when he has been nice he can have it back,

sorry but thats all i can think of at the mo,,

love andrea x

**Demonjill** · 28-04-2009, 02:36 PM

OK seems like you are trying hard with the unacceptable behaviour which is good and keep it consistent. However long it takes.

but.....

It will be far more effective if you remember to give him positive attention when he is good in all situations not just this one and this will help with the jealousy etc. Reward his good behaviour every time just like you are playing down his bad behaviour so he will soon realise that he gets lots of nice attention, stickers, cuddles when he is good for you and few words when he is bad. IYSWIM

Hope that helps a little?