Thinking of cancelling my summer holiday

**JCrakers** · 31-01-2014, 08:49 AM

I booked a holiday to Tenerife, 10days all inclusive. I had visions of a restful relax by the pool with a book, kids in the pool, smiles and lots of fun

But the reality is I've got ds 15 and ds 12 who cannot stand the sight of each other. DS wants to be in his room with his xbox friends online and DD can be very, very stroppy and a timebomb with her emotions. Every time they come across each other in the house its like WW3.

The room I booked is suitable for 3 adults and 1 child but we are just in one room which sitting thinking about it sounds like a complete nightmare. Xmas wasn't enjoyable as the fun wasn't there. I couldn't wait for it to be over truthfully

I'm seriously thinking of cancelling. I've paid over £500 but have another £2000 to pay by May. I will lose the £500 but I'm thinking do I want to shell out another £2000 for 10 days of hell with the kids.

Gone are the exciting family holidays where the kids are eager to go to the beach and their little faces bring warmth to your heart....Ive got two hormonal teenagers who are a complete nightmare at the moment

**samb** · 31-01-2014, 08:57 AM

Wow that sounds awful! So sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. I have no advice as mine are younger. I totally see where you're coming from. Is there any way of upgrading to get an extra time for that extra peace? I imagine it would be an awful lot more money but worth looking at to see if its a possibility for your peace of mind? X

**MAWI** · 31-01-2014, 09:20 AM

I know where your coming from. We went on a holiday of a lifetime To Florida when my DDs were 14 and 9. The 14 year old was a nightmare and couldn't be botherd to do anything and we had paid for all the park tickets etc... I have to admit it wasn't as bad as your situation sounds though. She did spoil our holiday but we did get on with it and ignored her most of the time when she was having a strop! We turned it into a joke and by about day 4/5 she came around a bit. Think of Kevin and Perry and your not far off!!!!
Could you try and get two rooms?? Or accomodation were you can split. It would be a shame not to go and let the hormonal teenagers win. You deserve a break.

On a plus side I can tell you, they will get through it. My DD is now 18, a beautiful, intelligent, well mannered girl who looks out for her sister and were actually looking forward to a Florida holiday in August with no worries about sharing rooms. Thankfully the hormonal girl we did not recognise for 3 years has disappeared.

Hope you sort it, sending hugs x

**PeekABoos** · 31-01-2014, 09:25 AM

That is a shame, they might be better in another country though? Teenage years oh how I dread lol. xx

**Mrsh3103** · 31-01-2014, 09:30 AM

Have you told them you're planning on cancelling the holiday?
Maybe telling them and saying if things haven't changed by end of feb it will be cancelled and they will be spending the 10 days doing chores instead of playing on the beach might make things better?

**VeggieSausage** · 31-01-2014, 11:33 AM

I feel your pain, was very glad when my eldest dd decided not to come on holiday with us....easier all round.....what about taking a friend for the eldest one, or leaving the eldest with another family or his grandparents and taking the other one a friend instead.....

**hectors house** · 31-01-2014, 11:40 AM

I'm surprised the hotel are letting you just have one room with the ages of the children, when we went to Fuertenventa with friends a few years ago we were allowed to have our 15 year old daughter in our room but our friends because they had 16 & 14 year old girls they had to book an extra room - it worked out great for us as our daughter moved in with the other girls and we had our room to ourselves. I know it wouldn't be the same but could you book an extra room and share with your daughter and your husband share with your son, after all you will be hoping not to spend much time in the room anyway, it's just somewhere to sleep and shower!

**JCrakers** · 31-01-2014, 12:27 PM

Thanks everyone

I'm struggling with these teenage years even though my dd isn't 12 until May...lol

Last years holiday was borderline...we had a whole house then. I dont even know what possessed me to book 1 room

I have told them about cancelling and I've said they may have to go to grandparents while we go without them (although they know i'm bluffing because there's no way my parents will have then for more than a couple of days and I wouldn't ask them to)

I'm having a chat with hubbie later and discuss with the darling children too

**loocyloo** · 31-01-2014, 01:03 PM

I feel your pain.

mine will be 12 & 9 when we go away in the summer and currently they can't even breathe the same air! ( last time we went out in the car, we ended up taking the 7 seater and put one in the boot seats and one in the middle row !( dh wanted to put one in the front and one in boot, but no way was I going to sit in the middle row! )

mine are due to be sharing a room in the villa we are using, but my mum is coming too, so it might be that she shares with one of them and the other has her room ... and then they will argue over who does or doesn't share !!! ARGHHHHH!

good luck. hope a frank discussion goes well, although the current response I get is 'well' 'so what' 'don't care' 'doesn't matter' ( as don't want to admit they do care etc! )

**The Juggler** · 01-02-2014, 09:48 AM

Originally Posted by JCrakers

Thanks everyone

I'm struggling with these teenage years even though my dd isn't 12 until May...lol

Last years holiday was borderline...we had a whole house then. I dont even know what possessed me to book 1 room

I have told them about cancelling and I've said they may have to go to grandparents while we go without them (although they know i'm bluffing because there's no way my parents will have then for more than a couple of days and I wouldn't ask them to)

I'm having a chat with hubbie later and discuss with the darling children too

sound exactly like my two! no you go hon - maybe look at booking them into a teenage activity holiday camp (boarding included) or at least threaten them with that.

**lilac_dragon** · 05-02-2014, 08:16 AM

Originally Posted by Mrsh3103

Have you told them you're planning on cancelling the holiday?
Maybe telling them and saying if things haven't changed by end of feb it will be cancelled and they will be spending the 10 days doing chores instead of playing on the beach might make things better?

You could do this - AND tell them the £500 lost deposit will be taken from their pocket money!!!!!!!!

**supermumy** · 31-01-2014, 01:46 PM

Don't cancel your holiday
Leave the 15 yr old in the room all day take 12 yr to pool and u relax hahaha

I'm taking my lot 16,11,5,3 away to turkey in August it is gonna be hard work ESP to keep them all happy and I probably won't even relax what with the pool and water and little ones but I'm saying to myself I deserve this more than them haha

**Rachel6** · 31-01-2014, 01:55 PM

I feel your pain & thank you for making me feel normal. I sometimes think as childminders people think our children are going to be perfect(afraid not in my house :-(. )

Mine are 23,22 & 17 & it does get better but there was lots of days when I felt going out the front door & not coming back, I know bad parent. Give me other peoples kids anytime x

**JCrakers** · 31-01-2014, 02:07 PM

Everyone's making me feel a whole lot better as usual.

It's the hardest thing at the moment...Give me 9 mindees between 0-9yrs any day its a breeze.. Give me two teenagers and I feel like my head is going to implode.

I've posted before on here about my two terrors as this teenage stage is new to me. I now know what new parents feel like when they bring a new baby home for the first time...absolutely clueless. I never had that feeling because I knew what to do but the teenage species is a whole new ball game.

I'm learning to just leave them to do their own thing and my weekends are beginning to be quite nice, but still getting my head around 'no more family trips out' as they just don't want to.
DS is going through the vampire/caveman state of living where any sunlight seems to burn and I get an occasional grunt every now and again and DD is extremely hormonal and we can be at each others throats sometimes.

I'd like to fast forward about 5yrs

but then I'd be 44 so that's not a good idea

**VeggieSausage** · 01-02-2014, 09:35 AM

it does improve honestly! my eldest ones at 19 and 17 can be pretty civilised now but I still wouldn't want to go on holiday with my eldest dd, she is high maintenance - gawd help any future partner or husband lol

**Ripeberry** · 02-02-2014, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by Rachel6

I feel your pain & thank you for making me feel normal. I sometimes think as childminders people think our children are going to be perfect(afraid not in my house :-(. )

Mine are 23,22 & 17 & it does get better but there was lots of days when I felt going out the front door & not coming back, I know bad parent. Give me other peoples kids anytime x

But legally you could leave them to it. They are adult! If my kids ever got on my nerves like that I would go off for a long weekend and see how they survived. It's not bad parenting, it's called looking after yourself

**VeggieSausage** · 02-02-2014, 01:23 PM

also booking a single room...not much holiday romance going to be going on there - what were you thinking

**primula** · 04-02-2014, 07:17 PM

Have you got an Ipod?! if so wear it all the time, work on your tan and let them get on with it, if they drive you mad get up and go somewhere else so you can't hear them!! give them a few quid and they can sort themselves out! It wears you out playing referee all the time! don't cancel though.. some teenagers go through a phase of being so selfish, they need a gentle reminder! Thankfully most grow out of it!

**munch149** · 01-02-2014, 10:33 PM

Realistically you spend very little time in the room on a holiday and maybe a little family time could bring you closer together. The eldest is old enough to have a little freedom so it's not like he has to spend every bit of the time with you. You will probably find both children will make some friends and do their own thing most of the time. I would say the bulk of the time together would be meals (which you prob do at home anyway) and when sleeping.

First few days will probably be the worst

**tashaleee** · 02-02-2014, 08:47 AM

Mine are 18 and 15 - you have my sympathies

They dont particularly get on - they fight like cat and dog - the youngest would love to lay in his room all day (he doesnt get the option) and the oldest is a real (female dog) to the youngest over everything he sais or does

We sat them down and had a long chat about going on holiday or not - and have decided that we will BUT they have both been told to make the most of it as it will be our last family holiday this summer) - if they dont behave (we are going to Florida) the extras they want to do out there wont happen - the ball is in their court...

BUT if I was in your position I would seriously sit them down and see what they say and if they didnt want to go I would cancel