Advice please

[dominiquegait]

I've been minding for 3 months and have a range of mindees, I've now taken on a new mindee who's a boy 33 months, he was looked after by a lovely and caring nanny who is now on maternity leave.

He is struggling to settle, from what I observe if he is doing something familiar (soft play and watching TV mainly) he is cheerful but if it's anything unusual (arts and crafts, puzzles, games, play groups) he starts screaming for mummy and won't join in. I think he's always got his own way.

I've spoken to mum and dad and they say he is stubborn and to keep persevering as they want him at a childminders because they are aware he needs to be more adaptable.

Any ideas on how to move him on would be great as I can see myself pandering to what mindee wants and my son (same age) is missing out.

[loocyloo]

just keep perservering!

have out the activities the others enjoy and let him watch. slowly he will be interested ( especially if you go OTT and play REALLY loudly, and have LOTS of fun ) and he may start to play along side, and then with you and the other children. IGNORE the screaming ( very hard I know ) say ''mummy is at work, she will pick you up after tea etc ... have a 'set' phrase and always use the same one. then, when he is upset, the words will become familiar and help his understanding. what is his language like? I have a 34mth mindee who is stubborn, but equally I can reason with LO and they get on and do things for me that they won't do at home!

when you only have one child, it is very easy to fall into the trap of doing what the child wants, as that makes life easy! ( and also, maybe the nanny, for the past few months before maternity leave, needed a gentle time, so focussed on soft play and tv. I am not condoning the nanny at all. ) its great that the parents are aware of the childs behavioural traits and are on your side. together you can help this child become better at adapting to new situations.

just a thought? will the nanny be coming back with her own child, so LO is with you temporarily, or long term? as it is a long slow process and the LO has had to change from being at home with someone catering to his every whim, to having to get up and go out, and share/mix etc with other children.

good luck x