DD reluctant to do Homework / Reading after school and Weekends

[Tealady]

DD is very difficult when it comes to.doing her reading or homework.

When in infants she never wanted to do her readers with us. Always reluctant to do her spellings until she finally realised for herself that when she practised them, she did really well.

Anyway, she's now in year 3 and still refuses to read to us. She gets a maths or literacy exercise once a week and it is a real fight to get her to do it.

I've tried warning her that reading/homework will be done at such a time. But it is a real battle. She wastes so much energy resisting that by the time we settle into it properly we have both had enough.

I then tried putting board up with slips with one thing she needed to do on each. These were on one side and by the end of the week they all needed to be moved across to the "done" side. She could choose when to do them but they all had to be across. Suffice to say the four weeks we had this in place she only did one lot of homework and no reading.

School give team points for reading four times a week at home and doing well with your homework but this does not entice her.

My Mum and a couple of her friend's Mums have suggested out and out bribery. They suggest that if she does her four lots of reading a week and her homework then I buy her a treat.

I completely disagree with this. She will have to do homework for the rest of her time spent in education. She shouldn't be rewarded for doing simply what is required.

Any ideas of what I can try next?

[chris goodyear]

I can sympathise! My 7 year old granddaughter is very stubborn and strong willed and mostly enjoys doing her homework but sometimes point blank refuses. I think it's when she's tired or just had enough of school work! Can't blame her as I think 6 hours every day is plenty when they are in primary school - also think we push our kids too much these days. Anyway have you tried a sticker chart? I am always amazed at how effective they are even with the most challenging of children and I've had some over the years. At the moment I have a 5 year old mindee(boy) who is very big physically for his age (could pass for 7 for size) and he is still in nappies at night and until this week always has wet clothes when I pick him up from school. There is no medical reason for this and although I have a downstairs loo he still wets at my house (and doesn't say) and if he gets there in time I have to go in after to clean the whole room because it's wet with wee on the floor, the seat and sometimes even up the wall! Well last week all out of the blue he decided to make himself a sticker chart and since then we've had no accidents and the chart is full with stickers so mum will give him a treat at the weekend. I thought maybe she had suggested this but no he did it himself. Years ago again I had a very challenging 6 year old boy who used to swear, kick, destroy things, jump on furniture, run off down the road, you name it he did it. So he kept being on another month trial and he really wanted to stay with me so we did a chart, not even stickers just ticks on a piece of paper pinned on the wall, and it worked - he stayed here till secondary school. All I know is that it works so maybe give it a go. I understand your point of not getting rewarded for doing what you should but even in the workplace we (not cms) get bonuses!!

[Stapleton83]

Been there and have found a couple of things that work with my eldest DD:

Firstly I try and get her to do as much of her homework as possible by close of play Friday night, as she gets her homework on a Friday with the discussion having been that the weekend is not her own.

Secondly we agreed that if she wanted to play on her DS then she could only do so once she had done her homework but earned so much for each element she did.

Hope that helps.

Sam x

[moggy]

I would do a few things-

Reading:
- check with teacher, how is her reading? Is she at expected levels?
- If so then I would ease up on the reading at home. Reading has to be for PLEASURE. If it is something to be fought over it is not setting her up for a life-long love of books.
- Does she not like the books? Can you go together to library to find some suitable alternatives, or talk to teacher about the choice available through school.
- Will she read to herself and then discuss what she has read with you, to check comprehension, instead of reading out loud?
- Does she feel reading out loud is babyish? Do you read out loud to her? Could you read alternate pages to each other?
- Does she see you and other adults reading for pleasure? Does she have lots of suitable books easily available at home? Does she love reading but just doesn't like the 'out loud' bit (like my son!)

Homework:
- The maths and literacy- again, I'd talk to the teachers... is she falling behind? do they realise the stress she is feeling about the homework? Is there any help from school/suggestions etc?
- Ask her what time of day/week she wants to do it. Does she want to do it alone or with you? Allow her some feeling of control, Write a plan, both sign it.
- Does she want a special place to work- a desk in her room? Does she need more quiet and less distractions around?
- I would make sure TV etc do not come before homework is finished.
- I'd lay off the rewards as it does ruin any possible self-motivation.
- She is still very young to really understand homework, our school do not even start homework like that until Y5, maybe teachers need to be talked to about it.
- Maybe school would agree to her working on her own project at home, something she loves (a scrap book about ponies or whatever, investigating wildlife in your garden) something where she can involve literacy and maths but in a way that is relevant to her.

[samb]

My dd is also yr3. When does yours get the homework set and when is it due? Our rules are read mon-thurs and once over the weekend. Mine read straight after last child leaves, no tv if no reading- although if she likes the book she can read it in bed as long as she's read aloud once a week as she's quite good at reading. She has homework set Fridays due Wednesdays. She gets- spellings with literacy piece linked, times tables, another maths piece of some sort plus a themed piece. She does as much as possible sat before her dance class. Then finishes off either later sat or early Sunday depending on other plans. There's no way she can do it weekdays as she can't concentrate with others here. The "bribe" here is more of a natural one so for example tv time is after dinner to bed so if its not done she will miss out etc.

[AliceK]

Homework It's a bone of contention in my house. At our primary school they get homework from F2 (reception) not much but personally I disagree with it and don't think a 4 / 5 yr old should get any. But my DD now in Yr1 loves doing her homework and will happily do it anytime. HOWEVER, DS in Yr 5 gets such attitude and moods when I tell him to do his homework. He gets homework every day except Monday and I did have a rule that he had to do that day's homework straight after tea but that rule seems to have tailed off recently, probably because I can't supervise and help him out at that time of day as I am clearing up and getting children and bags etc ready for home. So we've gone back to him doing it at the weekend usually on a Sunday. It is a pain, he hates having to sit and do it and I'm fed up of his mood and attitude about it. I think I'm going to go back to him doing it every day but it's finding the time as I can't stop and help him until I finish work at 6 and then I have all my jobs to do. I think I hate his homework as much as he does

xxxxx

[ninagee]

I have the same problem with DD11 in year 6. I had a letter from school regarding their SATS in May 14.

Strongly advised that she does homework everyday after school and a revision timetable will be issued after Christmas holidays.

I struggle now to get her to do any homework which is issued once a week. How I will manage to do this everyday is anyone's guess. With 3 little mindees for dinner most days its hard work!

Bribery doesn't work, i've tried. She is a very stubborn, moody, lots of huffing and puffing and 'rolling eyes' child!

Any suggestions would be most welcome!

Nina :-)