Family event.....guess who's babysitting?!?!!

**newbie** · 07-08-2013, 06:01 AM

A member of my DH's family has a big family gathering this weekend with friends and family attending. Yesterday morning the family phoned me and said that there were lots of children going (including my own) and that they would b sitting on a separate kiddie table to the adults. He then said that I would b sitting at the kiddie table looking after them all!?!?!?! I was stunned and didn't really know what to say!

. Told DH when he got in from work and he is not amused. He has spoken to my MIL and asked her to clarify what is happening....the thing is now I feel awkward and don't feel comfortable attending

**caz3007** · 07-08-2013, 06:07 AM

I would be angry about this, being told you are 'babysitting'. Everyone should be responsible for their own children. I would also not want to attend. Hope you sort it out

**Mrsh3103** · 07-08-2013, 06:13 AM

I posted about exactly the same situation a few weeks ago. Only difference was they didn't ask me in advance! They said 'childminders here' and cleared off.
A lot of people have me some good advice

Tell them you will be charging.
Hugs know how you feel hun x

**Roseolivia** · 07-08-2013, 06:22 AM

Simple, don't go. How rude of them to just expect you to look after the kids. I'm the other way round, at gatherings I let my kids run riot while I relax

**Kiddleywinks** · 07-08-2013, 06:29 AM

My 'creche' rate at weekends is £150 per hour payable in advance and non refundable if I decide to not attend on the day

**chriss** · 07-08-2013, 06:46 AM

Cannot believe the cheek of it. I would be furious. I would not want to go, and neither should your husband in support of you.
However, if you do want to attend, tell them your fee...and dont be cheap either !!

**newbie** · 07-08-2013, 07:02 AM

MIL has just phoned. She has spoken to the family member in question and they have said that they don't expect me to sit with the kids but because I am so good with children they wanted me to organise the kids with the buffet and help them all get their food!! I still feel a bit put out

. I said to MIL that I will help my own 3 get their food but the other children can b seen to my their own mothers!!!! She agreed but said that I should see it as a compliment!

**Roseolivia** · 07-08-2013, 07:09 AM

Originally Posted by newbie

MIL has just phoned. She has spoken to the family member in question and they have said that they don't expect me to sit with the kids but because I am so good with children they wanted me to organise the kids with the buffet and help them all get their food!! I still feel a bit put out

. I said to MIL that I will help my own 3 get their food but the other children can b seen to my their own mothers!!!! She agreed but said that I should see it as a compliment!

I still can't believe that they expect you to help them get their food. If it was me i'd let them get the food that's going to make them sick later on

**JCrakers** · 07-08-2013, 07:17 AM

I wouldn't go...But then I can be a bit of a stroppy mare at times

Firstly because of the way theyve gone about it by just asuming I would do it.
Secondly because I like my weekends and spare time without children. After my full on 50hr week I enjoy time without children. As much as I love them to bits I like some time with adults. To spend time with just the children on a table while all the other adults are enjoying their food child free doesnt sound like fun at all. Plus I dont think it will just be the mealtime, it sounds like once youve started to look after all the children you'll probably find that you'll have them the entire night.

Plus Id be extrememly angry if someone assumed Id do it or even asked.

**Emra81** · 07-08-2013, 07:22 AM

That's absolutely ridiculous! So what is your MIL expecting all the other parents to be doing while you're seeing to their children.....ah, having a nice relaxing time with the other grown ups. Because obviously you don't do a proper job and don't deserve a well earned break. Gggrrrr!

Makes my blood boil for you...if anyone in my family or hubby's even hinted that I was expected to be on duty at a family party I'd go through the roof!

**christine e** · 07-08-2013, 08:48 AM

Family events I believe are lovely opportunities for families to spend time together and as a parent I would want to be with my own children and think that the parents of the other children at your family gathering should take the opportunity to be with their children. Like you i would be very upset at what has been suggested

**newbie** · 07-08-2013, 09:36 AM

My DH is behind me 100% but I think the others think I'm over reacting

. How would they feel if for example one was a waitress and was them asked to serve the tables on the day!!!!! It's no ****** different!!!!!

**JCrakers** · 07-08-2013, 09:45 AM

What jobs do the family do?
A plumber, electrician.... maybe you could ring and say you've just found out the kitchen is out of order on the day and you've told the owners that he/she will spend the evening fixing the electrics,plumbing while everyone else party's

Accountant - take all your tax things in and dump them on their table in front of them

Id like to see their faces

**merry** · 07-08-2013, 05:06 PM

That's very cheeky, I would definitely not help any children who weren't my own. My own children are grown up now and whenever we go to any family events I make sure they know not to sit me near any children

Looking after children is my job, I don't do it in my time off!

**Mouse** · 07-08-2013, 05:54 PM

The problem is that as a cm you're always on the look out for children. I've been to family gatherings where I seem to be the only one who takes any notice of what the children are getting up to. I stood outside at a party once where there was a bouncy castle. My children wanted to go on it, so I took them outside. As soon as I was there watching, all the other parents left and went back inside, assuming it was all OK as I was there keeping an eye on everyone.

It goes against my nature, but when my children were finished playing, I walked away with them, leaving all the other children by themselves. I thought if their own parents can't be bothered to watch them, why should I?

**caz3007** · 07-08-2013, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by merry

That's very cheeky, I would definitely not help any children who weren't my own. My own children are grown up now and whenever we go to any family events I make sure they know not to sit me near any children

Looking after children is my job, I don't do it in my time off!

My son is 10 and has always been very good when we go out for a meal. I hate it when we are sat next to other noisy boisterous children, just because we have a child with us. Misery guts is me in my spare time

**Ripeberry** · 07-08-2013, 06:07 PM

Turn up anyway and sit with the adults. If you get any comments, just tell them that you are off duty. Simples! Have a great time

**PixiePetal** · 07-08-2013, 06:25 PM

I would help my own children then if other children look like they need help would say 'go and find your mummy or daddy, they will help you'!

I would be really cross if people thought I would help just because it's my job. Glad your DH is understanding though

**funemnx** · 07-08-2013, 06:30 PM

I'd be the one who heads straight for the bar and ends up dancing on tables and leading a sing-a-long (NOT wheels on the bus) - they wouldn't assume I'd look after the children again!

**lubeam** · 07-08-2013, 06:51 PM

I would b insulted too. If they want u as a guest then that is what u should be .

If the want you as a childminder charge, send an email detailing prices for different levels of service

I.e -cut food up £3.50
Taking to the toilet £3.50 per trip
Helping at the buffet table £2
Taking responsibility for your child for the evening - £75

lol