advice?

[adele1985]

ok a bit of background first (sorry long one )


I'm pretty close to my family ever since my cousin had her first baby 5 years ago ive went down to see her once a week, spent time with her and always bought her (the child - x) things ect, not always agreed with her parenting but never said anything as to me that's up to my cousin how to bring x up

late last year my other cousin had his first baby (y) but because of personal problems my aunt has had the baby since hes been born - im very close with my aunt and shes always made the effort to come and see me once a week as well as phone calls on both sides ect

in the mean time Xs mum has had another baby (z) which I don't really see that much I still go down every week but new baby or mum are generally not there so I don't feel that im that close or have developed a bond with the new baby like I have x or y

last weekend I went to see y but before I did I had some shopping to do while in the pound shop I saw a rattle I though y would like ( I only thought about it as I saw the age range on it) anyway I bought it and through nothing else of it

when I got to my nanas (who was babysitting y) and gave him the rattle my aunt ( x and zs nana) just walked out and my nana went of on one saying u shouldn't of got one without the other

I had my say which was z wasn't even there and even if he was I don't think he would be bothered being only 3 months old I said that I didn't think of z as to me the rattle wasn't suitable for him yet coz of his age and it was a pound rattle and a impulse buy - I also told her she and my aunt where being childish for making a big deal out of it especially when they know I wouldn't do it intestinally

am I in the wrong here - I don't generally buy one just because I buy the other it normally comes down to seeing something thinking oh x y or z would like that and getting it

[Kiddleywinks]

Oh dear. That's a difficult one.

I can see both sides.
I was always brought up with you don't get one without the other (apart from birthdays - they are 'special days') and that's something I've brought into childminding too. Even children that aren't here on the same days still get what the others have had and believe me it's not easy to juggle it!

In this instance, as x and z weren't there and you would get stuff for them at other times, I don't think you were in the wrong to get y something, and I would have said as much

[clareelizabeth1]

No i think you are in the right. Personally i have never believed in getting things for all my nieces (3 of them) just because i got one of them something. They and their parents don't expect it either and the know its not about who i like best.

My nieces arnt bothered either and it has taught them how to share.

I think your even more in the right as you thought you were only seeing 1 baby.