Does childminding effect your family?

**LittleMissX** · 08-02-2012, 09:13 PM

Hi everyone,
I worked in a nursery for two years before having my son, who is now one, I dont really want to go back to work full time as it would be too much time away from my son & I dont want to put my son into a nursery! So the obvious solution is childminding (I know childminding is alot more involved & demanding than a nursery).
Anyway! I've been in a relationship with my OH for 3 years, he works most of the day & he said hes happy for me to childmind as long as theres a room where he can go to play playstation when he comes home from work!

I was just curious as to the strains it put on your OH & children.

Thanks for any responses in advance

**The Juggler** · 08-02-2012, 10:17 PM

i would say it will totally depend on how prepared your dh is for the upheaval of your home and how much support he will give you. If he's going to hate the mess and disruption and expect you to be cleaning and tidying the house all day it will cause lots of friction and upset.

but. if he's on for realising that you are working in teh day and knock off when the kids go home and then you will both need to pull together to tidy/cook tea/sort your family out then you'll be fine

**Trouble** · 08-02-2012, 10:21 PM

my children was fine with childminding until recently my son would say theres a bed in my room

which i hadnt remembered to put down

then in october i asked my hubby to put something up for a display and he said do we have to?

so i knew it was time for me to stop

your family have to be happy with you childminding for it to work or it then becomes a problem

**EmmaReed84** · 09-02-2012, 06:19 AM

I have been minding now since Aug 2011 at first is was really hard... Childminding was actually DH's idea but I dont think he realise exactly what was involved. It did cause some arguments like "You are home all day, why is the house not spotless" "what do you do all day?" "you are going out AGAIN? The house is a mess, dont you think you should be staying at home to tidy" "I have been at work all day, I am knackered at least you have it easy"

DH gets up at 7.30am, has a shower gets dressed goes to work comes home at 6.30pm and sits down. I get up at 5.30am prep for the day, get ready, start work at 7am (while he is still asleep) I have three children all day aged 3 and under for 10 hours, then I have to clear up from dinner, sort my own children out and get them in bed by 7pm then do our tea and dishes and dont sit down until about 8.30pm then it all starts again... I raised that point (not quite so calm) and DH has shut up since and helps me now.

Just make sure that you OH knows that what you do is a JOB, you are still earning and you are still working.

**mrs robbie williams** · 09-02-2012, 06:50 AM

Originally Posted by The Juggler

i would say it will totally depend on how prepared your dh is for the upheaval of your home and how much support he will give you. If he's going to hate the mess and disruption and expect you to be cleaning and tidying the house all day it will cause lots of friction and upset.

but. if he's on for realising that you are working in teh day and knock off when the kids go home and then you will both need to pull together to tidy/cook tea/sort your family out then you'll be fine :thumbsup:

oh so thats where ive been going wrong all this time

**mrs robbie williams** · 09-02-2012, 06:56 AM

it does affect family life but i think you have to weigh up the pros and cons - main pro for me is being at home, taking my kids to school, being here if they are ill, school hols etc the cons are getting up early and getting the house ready, noisy kids arriving from 715 and waking the house (esp in school hols) and prob the neighbours up, catching every cold/cough going, my 'day off' is spent doing paperwork/sorting toys etc BUT saying that I DO LOVE MY JOB

**waterwaybabies** · 09-02-2012, 07:35 AM

have to admit i get a bit of whinging that dinner is never ready and the house is a mess.x [i finish later than 6 most nights].

also my youngest starts his gcse,s in september so is worrying about the lack of peace for study.
might have to consider earlier finishes or fewer days.

**jumping j** · 09-02-2012, 08:06 AM

most of the time it's fine but my OH does still think that I do nothing all day while the LO's just play. I have a constant battle to remind him that actually I started work before him, finished after him, still found time to prepare dinner, even if it's not quite finished, had a general tidy round and half the time pegged the washing out, but am very sorry I didn't get round to washing the dirty pots!!!!
He also finds it hard not playing on his xbox when he wants, not a bad thing in my opinion but because it's an open plan living area I wont allow it on while the LO's are here!!!
I do have a seperate room as a 'playroom' but some things have to be on display for parents to see, ofsted certificate, menu etc. so that is up on the wall in the entrance.
I think it overlaps as much as you let it, If it was me on my own the whole house would have pictures and art work up, but it's not!!!!

**kellib** · 09-02-2012, 08:11 AM

It's just me and my son here so I don't have the problems that some with OH's do.

I don't take on anyone that's going to interfere with my son's bedtime and I make sure he has plenty of peace to do his homework etc. Right now I'm quite lucky in that most of the mindees are here when my son is at school so he doesn't see them anyway and right now I'm only doing term time work so my son gets me all to himself in the holidays.

I don't have anything on display and when mindee's aren't here all toys etc are put in my huge hall cupboard out of sight, it's fab!!

I think it only affects you as much as you let it.

**jelly15** · 09-02-2012, 08:19 AM

It took a little time for them to adjust. DH soon learnt that if he wanted his evening meal before 7 pm he has to lock himself in the kitchen and cook it. He now cooks every evening

. I find that it effects me in that I cannot pop to the dentist or doctors for routine appointments, it is more like a military operation.

**LittleMissX** · 09-02-2012, 10:08 AM

Thanks for the replies!
My plan was for childminding not to take over my home once the mindees werent here as I dont want to feel like I never leave work. Although my plans never work out!
It was my OH's idea for me to start childminding, I think it was just a big ploy so he could play playstation every day without me moaning! But he does realise how hard it would be as he always says how proud he is of me looking after our little one

I was also a little worried about my age making it harder for me to parents to trust leaving their children with me. Im 21 should be 22 by the time I can actually start minding. I was promoted after a year of working in the nursery to be in charge of the room, 6 months as a private nanny & 2 years with my son by the time I start. I know that childminders usually have alot more experience, im just hoping this will be enough!

**rickysmiths** · 09-02-2012, 10:57 PM

We all have to start somewhere. 17 years ago I was a mum of an 11mth old and a 2yr 9mth old. I was trained as a Home Economist to work in industry had left my job as a Catering Manager to have my daughter 2 years earlier and had 2yrs 9mths experience of Childcare. I was a bit older than you at 40 but green none the less! I've hardened up a lot over the years!

I liked the idea of being at home with my two but needed to earn an income.

I got mindees from the min I went on the LA list.

I have never looked back and have thoroughly enjoyed all my 17years.

**Trouble** · 09-02-2012, 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by LittleMissX

Thanks for the replies!
My plan was for childminding not to take over my home once the mindees werent here as I dont want to feel like I never leave work. Although my plans never work out!
It was my OH's idea for me to start childminding, I think it was just a big ploy so he could play playstation every day without me moaning! But he does realise how hard it would be as he always says how proud he is of me looking after our little one

I was also a little worried about my age making it harder for me to parents to trust leaving their children with me. Im 21 should be 22 by the time I can actually start minding. I was promoted after a year of working in the nursery to be in charge of the room, 6 months as a private nanny & 2 years with my son by the time I start. I know that childminders usually have alot more experience, im just hoping this will be enough!

you have children thats all the experience you need x

**Toothfairy** · 10-02-2012, 07:52 AM

When I first started CMing 6 years ago, it was fine. My youngest was only 3 and the two older ones were only 8 & 10.
The house was still full of toys and I was still in Baby mode.

But now, 6 years on, DD's are 9, 14 & 16.

They don't need baby toys anymore and all their stuff lives in their bedrooms.
I hate the fact I have lost my dinning room and that i've got stair gates, potty's, Toddler toilet seats, highchairs, car seats etc everywhere.

My DD's are also getting to the point where they are not happy having other children around when they get home from school.

I think my time as a CM is coming to an end and maybe its time I looked into something else.