Advice appreciated re my own son

**dreamondreamer** · 21-08-2009, 01:24 PM

Hi,
I haven't had a minute since my two little ones started with me a few weeks ago. Only managing to log on now

The story is this..my son is 4 and starting school in two weeks. He is the youngest in our home and his older siblings have always doted on him. He is in fact like an only child and is very used to his home the way it is

The little ones I'm minding 4 days a week are aged 9 months and 26 months. I have been finding things ok but a bit hectic at different times during the day. The 26 month old has very little speech and can be hard enough to understand for me but I think it is doing my sons head in

I am trying to get them doing things together (painting, buns, playdoh etc) but I really think my son is missing his lego all over the house, its fills his head practically all of the time but its too dangerous for little people so I have confined it to his room whilst they are here. The baby is crawling and falling and I am constantly watching him. He won't stay confined at all in a playpen, he just goes mad

My son has always been a very chilled little fella but in the last few weeks he has thrown tantrums like never before

I am spending practically every minute I can with him when they are gone and reasurring him that he is my best boy in the whole world and how much I love him and all that.
What else can I do?? Will he settle down?? Am I making him feel pushed out?? I just feel crap at the minute

I have taken the week off that he starts in school

Anyone???

**Hebs** · 21-08-2009, 01:30 PM

he is probably learning a very important life lesson at the moment...

that the world doesn't revolve around him

he will settle down, and he's going to find the same issues in school until he learns to go with the flow,

it will get easier

**dreamondreamer** · 21-08-2009, 01:40 PM

Thankyou

**Hebs** · 21-08-2009, 01:45 PM

once he is at school and gets some time away it should get easier for him x

and boy do i know what you mean about Lego, my 9 year old is obsessed with it too

**Miriam** · 21-08-2009, 01:46 PM

My boy is 6, and my girl is 9. Before I started childminding I sat them both down and talked about the whole thing with them. They had been to a c/minder who was wonderful so knew what a c/minder was about. My girl has been great since I started minding a few months ago, but it has been really tough with my 6 year old. Neither of my children liked the first lo I minded, although I must admit he was hard work. My son started really acting up at school and his teacher said his work deteriorated - she said he was showing behaviour that they normally see if there is a new baby in the household - bit similar to mummy becoming a childminder reallly!!

But I have a new lo now - only started last week who we all seem to get on with much better

The other little boy isnt with me any more as dad got made redundant and things I hope will settle down in sept when my son goes back to school.

I think it is true that these children of ours sometimes feel threatened by the mindees and dont really understand that we do this BECAUSE we love them and want to be there for them! Good luck with your little one.

**LeeAnn** · 21-08-2009, 04:21 PM

Just wanted to offer you some huge hugs, I have been going through the same thing with my 3 year old. I started minding 6 weeks ago (at the start of the holidays

) and it has been a struggle.

I have a very long winded post about it on here this week and seriously was thinking about packing it all in! But my DD went back to playgroup on Wednesday and these past 3 days have been wonderful. She is getting a break from them in the morning and is coming home and coping with things much better. It is a long day when everyone is together all the time!

The guilt is awful isn't it? I have also felt terrible for changing everything about her house and life too. But I hope in the long run it will benefit her and she can still be my baby when they all go home

Hang in there , I hope it gets better for you when he goes to school, glad you have the week off to be with him. That will be good for you both xx

**dreamondreamer** · 23-08-2009, 06:31 PM

Thankyou very much for your kind words of reasurrance

Leeann, Thankyou kindly

and I'm glad to hear everything has settled down for you and your little one. The guilt is just horrible

but I'll carry on and hope for the best. My boy has to learn that he is not the centre of the universe

Big hug back leeann xxx

**DIPPY DOUGHNUT** · 23-08-2009, 06:44 PM

Hi

Hope things settle down soon.

I have 2 daughters a 2 year old and 3 year old and have just started childminding.

i have a girl 3 days a week and a boy the other 2 days.

I thought my eldest wouldnt like sharing her mum, but as the children i have been minding go to her nursery shes really enjoying having them here and counts down the days at the weekend until their here again!

Hopefully you will feel happier soon X

**Hebs** · 23-08-2009, 07:24 PM

this can affect older kids not just little ones

**LeeAnn** · 23-08-2009, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by dreamondreamer

Thankyou very much for your kind words of reasurrance

Leeann, Thankyou kindly

and I'm glad to hear everything has settled down for you and your little one. The guilt is just horrible

but I'll carry on and hope for the best. My boy has to learn that he is not the centre of the universe

Big hug back leeann xxx

aww thanks Hon, huge are always appreciated! xx

**Spangles** · 23-08-2009, 07:45 PM

I went through this with my son too, it took quite a while for him to settle into it but he got there in the end.

I actually spoke to the mindee's parent about it and I bought a present to give to them to give to him from the mindee - did that make sense? Plus a card saying thank you for sharing your mum with me. It helped a little.

I also got him to help with the mindee and got them to do things together like you are doing and I think that helped too.

It's a big adjustment for them to make, it just takes time, I'm sure your little one will be fine in the end.

Try not to worry.

xx