My child is acting terrible everytime somebody comes to visit

**mathremuk** · 19-08-2016, 03:51 PM

Hello Everyone,

Ive had three visits and the 2 visits where the children were the same age as my child shes acted terribly. The older children she seems to be fine with.

I gave her an activity today with fuzzy felt and it kept her occupied ages but the visit lasted over an hour so she soon started the mayhem.

She was throwing tantrums, not sharing and snatching and generally being awful. I remain calm and get down to her level and tell her not to do that and the reason why but do you know what she did today........while i was doing that she threw herself back screaming and hit her head on the floor which led to an absolute nightmare. Again.....i tried to remain calm.

Its getting to me because I am thinking is my childs behaviour why I am not getting callbacks. Granted the people ive seen dont want to start until september but they know I cant hold a place and some visited over two weeks ago. Its making me wonder if im going to be any good at this.

Shes two in Sept and has well and truly hit the "challenging twos".

When i see other kids compared to her she is a bit wild. Shes highly energetic and into everything and shes not shy. The toy sharing has happened recently though. She never used to be like that. She also been great at meeting new kids and really good up until now.

Send some love my way and help me please!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**mumofone** · 19-08-2016, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by mathremuk

Hello Everyone, Ive had three visits and the 2 visits where the children were the same age as my child shes acted terribly. The older children she seems to be fine with. I gave her an activity today with fuzzy felt and it kept her occupied ages but the visit lasted over an hour so she soon started the mayhem. She was throwing tantrums, not sharing and snatching and generally being awful. I remain calm and get down to her level and tell her not to do that and the reason why but do you know what she did today........while i was doing that she threw herself back screaming and hit her head on the floor which led to an absolute nightmare. Again.....i tried to remain calm. Its getting to me because I am thinking is my childs behaviour why I am not getting callbacks. Granted the people ive seen dont want to start until september but they know I cant hold a place and some visited over two weeks ago. Its making me wonder if im going to be any good at this. Shes two in Sept and has well and truly hit the "challenging twos". When i see other kids compared to her she is a bit wild. Shes highly energetic and into everything and shes not shy. The toy sharing has happened recently though. She never used to be like that. She also been great at meeting new kids and really good up until now. Send some love my way and help me please!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My 2 year old is always conveniently "out" when I have visits like this or I time then when i know he will be on his best behaviour! Can you Palm him off on someone for the duration of the visits or just make sure he is there at the start or end of them?

**mathremuk** · 19-08-2016, 04:19 PM

Originally Posted by mumofone

My 2 year old is always conveniently "out" when I have visits like this or I time then when i know he will be on his best behaviour! Can you Palm him off on someone for the duration of the visits or just make sure he is there at the start or end of them?

OH GOODNESS LOL

Wont it look bad if shes not there? My husband gets back at the first of Sept so I can do that then I guess.

**mumofone** · 19-08-2016, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by mathremuk

OH GOODNESS LOL Wont it look bad if shes not there? My husband gets back at the first of Sept so I can do that then I guess.

Not for the odd occasion I wouldn't have thought! So long as they see them in passing generally! You gotta do what you've gotta do! :-)

**Ellisha** · 19-08-2016, 07:09 PM

Originally Posted by mathremuk

Hello Everyone,

Ive had three visits and the 2 visits where the children were the same age as my child shes acted terribly. The older children she seems to be fine with.

I gave her an activity today with fuzzy felt and it kept her occupied ages but the visit lasted over an hour so she soon started the mayhem.

She was throwing tantrums, not sharing and snatching and generally being awful. I remain calm and get down to her level and tell her not to do that and the reason why but do you know what she did today........while i was doing that she threw herself back screaming and hit her head on the floor which led to an absolute nightmare. Again.....i tried to remain calm.

Its getting to me because I am thinking is my childs behaviour why I am not getting callbacks. Granted the people ive seen dont want to start until september but they know I cant hold a place and some visited over two weeks ago. Its making me wonder if im going to be any good at this.

Shes two in Sept and has well and truly hit the "challenging twos".

When i see other kids compared to her she is a bit wild. Shes highly energetic and into everything and shes not shy. The toy sharing has happened recently though. She never used to be like that. She also been great at meeting new kids and really good up until now.

Send some love my way and help me please!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I feel for you I'm pretty sure I didn't get picked by one family when I first started because of my children's behaviour. The mum met me and was fine, then dad visited one evening and my kids were wild - it was the wrong time if day for it!

I don't really have any advice, except that was the only time when I had perspective parents come round and my kids played up. But up until recently my son (3.5) has struggled a bit with me childminding. He would snatch, not want to share and sometimes hit mindees. He is much better now.

I think some parents may be put off by your daughter but other parents (especially those with more than one child) will see how well you deal with it.

**mathremuk** · 19-08-2016, 08:23 PM

Thanks ladies.

Im going to give the parents until the beginning of Sept and then chase them and if they say they have changed their minds then I will ask for honest feedback. Id just prefer to know what it is so I can work on it. Whether its her or the house or me or whatever lol.

Its so hard to discipline in front of a parent especially at that age where they dont really understand anything. I had explained to the mum (when she asked if she could come at 3) that she was dropping her naps at the moment and this time of the day can be challenging and she seemed to understand. Is there anything you guys would have done different? All I seem to be able to do is get down to her level and explain but it doesnt seem to make a difference. I try and keep her distracted but theres only so many old toys you can pull out of a hat!

ahhhhhhhhhhh

**sarah707** · 21-08-2016, 07:56 PM

My son used to be a nightmare!! They do grow out of it but until then try either bribery or absence - do you have a cm friend who could have her for a few hours? xx

**moggy** · 21-08-2016, 08:38 PM

I always make sure I am child-free when meeting a new family for the first time. I need to be able to concentrate and give them my full attention. My husband takes ours off somewhere or just keeps them busy upstairs. There is time later for them to meet my family, but first I want to make sure I get a good feel for them and them for me.

**mathremuk** · 22-08-2016, 12:02 AM

Well it seems to have not put a parent off who came two weeks ago. I start with my first kid tomorrow!!!! So excited to be finally doing it.

This parent was very easy going and was actually talking about some of her sons terrible two antics so i think she just got it whereas the parent the other day was quiet and very watchful.

Ah well. One in the bag. Now ive just got to prove I can be a great childminder amd hopefully more will come!!

Thanks for lending symmathetic ears 😄😄

**Ellisha** · 22-08-2016, 07:25 AM

Originally Posted by mathremuk

Well it seems to have not put a parent off who came two weeks ago. I start with my first kid tomorrow!!!! So excited to be finally doing it.

This parent was very easy going and was actually talking about some of her sons terrible two antics so i think she just got it whereas the parent the other day was quiet and very watchful.

Ah well. One in the bag. Now ive just got to prove I can be a great childminder amd hopefully more will come!!

Thanks for lending symmathetic ears ?de04?de04

Great news! Hope it goes well.

**mathremuk** · 22-08-2016, 11:07 PM

Thank you! Went great but oh i felt underprepared. Just when cooking etc and not fully having eyes on them! I need to start preparing throw in the oven meals the night before!