eldest dd being difficult :(

[2lovelygirls]

Hi All,

I have just registered and I'm currently caring for a 23 mth old 2 days a week and his older sister after school. The day time is going so well already and the little boy and my youngest (who's 21 months) fit in together so well. The problem im having (and I did anticipate this would be the problem) is my oldest dd (almost 5). She has always been a spirited child but has no issues sharing outside of our home but she is being extremely awkward. I have already spoken to her and told her that any 'special' toys can go in her room but she isn't allowed to play with them either until everyone has gone home. Upstairs is off limits as we have a playroom anyway so most of the toys are downstairs. I am being completely fair with all the children but my dd keeps having complete melt downs over letting others go first (even though a) she gets her fair share at going first too and b) she has to share with her sister so nothing new there). Luckily because I had expected this, my husband who works flexy time has been going in early and getting home pretty much as soon as I get in from the school run so all under control at the moment while my husband can see to my dd when she has a melt down but im just concerned about what the parents will feel...I am hoping she will settle :s she shares no probs with my other dd and in other peoples houses and school etc so I can see that this is a territory issue. any tips

[shortstuff]

I started as a cm when ds was 6. I got him on board by giving him responsibility. He is my assistant and earns money for helping me. He does odd bits like pass me wipes, lay the table etc. Maybe this would work?

[tess1981]

Just as mindees have to adjust to a new setting you dd has to adjust to a new environment. It will get easier. Is there any way she is allowed to go and play upstairs in her own space. My children although now 15 and 12 know they can just take themselves of to their rooms if it all gets too much. I have been minding 7 years and they have always done this

[2lovelygirls]

Thanks for the advice I am going to try letting her have some of her own space - the silly thing is she wont want her own space because she ll feel like shes missing out.

She seems a little better this week so hopefully it's just a case of riding the storm
x

[zanacal]

I'm having similar issues with my 4 year old who doesn't start school until September. I think giving him jobs and maybe stickers would help. It's hard to remember it's a difficult situation for him too when he's driving me up the wall!

[2lovelygirls]

ah zanacal - nice to know someone can relate to this situation. It must be hard on them and my eldest is super sensitive in most situations anyway. My youngest is very laid back which helps as I have her with mindees in the day - I just dread those couple of hours after school at the moment. Seems an improvement today - good luck with your LO xx