how safe are we

**disney** · 24-05-2008, 08:35 AM

can any one tell me if they have ever felt like this before please ? you know when you have parents come into your home to meet you for looking after their child i know they have to make sure you are safe to do so ect but of course this is why we have our crb , ofsted ect .

but to the point when i had some parents come to meet me yesterday dad gave me a very uneasy feeling and fired so many questions and compliments not on any of minding services but how i looked far to young to have children the age they are & a grandson .to be honest i felt alot of

mum never said a word at all really . when they left they said they would call soon . im a little worried as dad said he will be doing the pick ups . but whats even stranger is i have never meet them before and when i went to school yesrday we went on the park and dad was at the park gate loking over so i waved he just looked then i turned away for a min turned back and he was gone .

just was thinking how do we know who we are letting in our homes as they are not cheecked for crb or any thing sory not trying to put the wind up any one but i hope they dont want me to have their child x

**angeldelight** · 24-05-2008, 08:39 AM

I have never had that experience to be honest and have always felt ok with the parents

But you sound uneasy with this parent so if you feel like that - maybe you wont want him to call back ??

Maybe you just never noticed him before but because you know what he looks like now he caught your eye ?

Just go with what you feel is right - there are some odd people around but he may just be the friendly type

If you feel uncomfy though and you let him into your home again make sure someone else is around too

Angel xx

**sarah707** · 24-05-2008, 08:40 AM

If the father made you feel awkward or uncomfortable then it's not a good idea to take the child and bond...

It will be harder in the future if the feeling persists and you want to terminate the contract.

Go with your gut instincts if you have concerns ... how awful for you

**crazybones** · 24-05-2008, 08:47 AM

I agree with Angel with the part about noticing him in the Park. I have met people once and then end up seeing them everywhere but that it only because I never noticed them because I didnt know them. But if you dont get a good feeling it may be better not to take the job. I would give him another chance (not alone though). He may have been nervous and blabbering a bit and it came across as a bit creepy.

**Pudding Girl** · 24-05-2008, 08:57 AM

If you don't feel comfortable then that says it all really. If they do call back just say the place has now gone.

*hugs*

**disney** · 24-05-2008, 09:01 AM

this is the first time i have ever had this as well angel & maybe you are right it could be that hes been ther before and i havnt noticed him. maybe im paronoid .

dont know but never had parents come before were dad a does all the talking .it was the strangest one i have ever had i gave them my porfolio & policies and he said their is to many and started asking questions isaid alot of it is in my policys but he said he wanted to hear it from me and didnt see the point in them .

the little boy is with cm at the mom but she has a daughter who cant have sweets as she has a illness and they feel hes losing out on sweets. but i said i dont really give sweets myself . i talked about eyfs they said they did not know what i was on about & their chilminder had not spoke of this !

strange things really wasnt interested in my paper work , courses just me personally x

**cloud9** · 24-05-2008, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by disney

can any one tell me if they have ever felt like this before please ? you know when you have parents come into your home to meet you for looking after their child i know they have to make sure you are safe to do so ect but of course this is why we have our crb , ofsted ect .

but to the point when i had some parents come to meet me yesterday dad gave me a very uneasy feeling and fired so many questions and compliments not on any of minding services but how i looked far to young to have children the age they are & a grandson .to be honest i felt alot of

mum never said a word at all really . when they left they said they would call soon . im a little worried as dad said he will be doing the pick ups . but whats even stranger is i have never meet them before and when i went to school yesrday we went on the park and dad was at the park gate loking over so i waved he just looked then i turned away for a min turned back and he was gone .

just was thinking how do we know who we are letting in our homes as they are not checked for crb or any thing sory not trying to put the wind up any one but i hope they dont want me to have their child x

One thing i have learnt is that we need to trust our first instincts on people, if you feel uncomfortable with the dad regardless of the circumstances you shouldn't take on the contract. It's just not worth it in the long run

**Chimps Childminding** · 24-05-2008, 11:15 AM

I agree I wouldn't take the child on if you feel uneasy around the dad. If he is going to be the one picking up most of the time, you cannot always guarantee someone else will be around and you will be on edge! Lets hope they decide they don't need you and you find someone else you are happier with!

**Blaze** · 24-05-2008, 12:07 PM

I would echo what everyone else says...go with your gut instict on this.

I personally don't do viewings while I am minding...at the end of the day I am a woman alone in the house with children & I don't know who these people are...so I only do viewings in the evenings & weekends when FW is around. If the people want to see me with children I arrange to meet them at a toddler group...nice safe public place!

**disney** · 24-05-2008, 12:27 PM

yes i think you are right blaze

i didnt have any children at the time but have spoken to dh and hes not very happy about it and doesnt want me to do it any way , even though he knows its my choice he says he cant go to work if he didnt think i was safe . so think i will give it a miss .

my dh has said when parents come to meet me they have each other to decide if im right for them so he has suggested he be in the house in future just listen as to what is said . so after we can discuss what we also think of them when they have gone . after all my dh is sometimes here when i have my mindees x

**Spangles** · 24-05-2008, 02:13 PM

I have just quickly read through this thread.

I have to say that I find that a really odd reason for leaving a childminder - that their daughter is missing out on sweets? Very strange if you ask me!

Then the strange dad on top? I'd give it a wide, wide berth if it were me!

x

**Alibali** · 24-05-2008, 02:43 PM

I have always felt a bit dubious about letting strangers into my home, and as such for the first visit I always make sure it is at a time when I have no mindees and my husband is ay home with me. I also go to do contract signing at their home to get a feel for what they are like at home etc. It just makes me feel a bit safer.

Ali x

**karenjoy** · 27-05-2008, 10:12 AM

I will definately be going on my gut instints when I start, and I will make sure DH is around when parents visit, dont even answer the door to anyone I dont know!

**carolinel** · 27-05-2008, 10:58 AM

does sound a bit strange to me. If he is just a genuinely nice/chatty person then why didn't he wave back at the park?

I don't allow my chilminded children sweets either, if they get any then I make them put them by their hometime stuff and then it's up to the parent to let them have them.

If you're still feeling uneasy about it I would say the vacancy has gone.

good luck!

**disney** · 27-05-2008, 11:55 AM

the parents have not rang back yet im very pleased to say and if they do i have decided to say that the place has been taken . hopefully they will not call . i have to many reasons why i shouldnt take them on .

its all to strange x

**disney** · 28-05-2008, 09:57 AM

mum rang this morning and this is what she said hello you all right yes thanks i said .i wil bring xxxxx round friday is that ok

im very sorry the place has been filled i know i said take the weekend to think about it but was not sure thet you wanted me & some one was happy to start straight away . couldnt call you as you didnt leave a contact number . oh fine then she said

still cant help feeling bad really the little boy was sweet & mum was nice at least i think she might have been if dad let her speake but really did not like him at all . maybe it would have worked if dad wasnt doing any pick ups !
so far my mindees parents when we had interviews have normally told me straight the way if they need me . i do ask them if they want to think about it but they normally say they know straight the way x

**angeldelight** · 28-05-2008, 10:12 AM

You wasnt happy was you so I think you were right to tell mom that someone else had taken the place

Dont worry about it any more

I think you were right anyway

Angel xx

**Pudding Girl** · 28-05-2008, 01:33 PM

completely agree with Angel x

**Spangles** · 28-05-2008, 01:36 PM

You've done the right thing, well done it was the strong thing to do. I would have probably been a complete wimp and taken on the family only to really regret it a day or so later!

**susi513** · 28-05-2008, 02:09 PM

I've done that Lorri. I wasn't sure at all - I was a bit put off with the mum's plan to potty train before the baby's first birthday. But I took it on and they never came back after the first day

She got the dad to phone me and when I asked why he said she'd said she wasn't sure if she'd get on with me. Didn't help the older child called me mum in front of her mum (obvious slip of the tongue to me but mum must have been upset).

I also had a horrible man quiz me on why I had no evidence of a crb (I was registered before the enhanced crbs came in). He wouldn't accept my suggestion to call Ofsted and that Ofsted say their Certificate is proof enough. Also he wanted a discount for when their child is napping and I'm not actively minding her!

But these people are few and far between (thank goodness!). I've cared for nearly 70 children now and by far the majority of parents are LOVELY!