Child upset by people coming in and out

[butterfly]

Has anyone come across this before? Little one is 12 months and literally screams when people (anyone) goes out of the stair gate on my lounge door or if the doorbell rings. His mum says he gets upset if he is shut in somewhere with the door shut even with her. She brought him over last week and had him on her lap but he screamed when the doorbell rang! He watches anyone going near the room boundary and screams if they go through.

Anyone got any advice?

[JCrakers]

I had this with an 8m old I was trying to settle last year. Just as I had managed to get her quiet, someone would come in the room or walk past and it set her off again.

She wouldnt eat with people in the room either, if someone looked at her she screamed. It was probably a seperation anxiety problem with people coming in and then going out again....very hard work as I couldnt stop children from moving about and was even worse with the after school children.

I gave notice in the end due to her not settling, lots of other reasons for not sticking with it

[kellib]

I have a mindee who screams blue murder when someone comes into the house, I'm not sure if it's because he's expecting his Mum to be there but instead it's more children!!

He's just started with me so I'm hoping in time he'll get used to it, fingers crossed anyway!

[sarah707]

crikey this is a hard one. I would say it's definitely linked to separation anxiety and the expectation that mum / dad will come through the door.

Some children do not like change and react very strongly to it and if someone comes in the dynamic of the room changes.

I would try a box of special cuddly toys which can come out to soothe the child when s/he is distressed or maybe a special song you sing to calm them.

I hope it passes quickly!

[Cinderbella]

I have this too but with a 2yr old. He gets ever so upset when someone leaves the room, worst when its me, or if someone puts their coat on and again if the doorbell goes! Today I had a parent visit and as soon as the door bell went he started and it took ages to calm him down. Luckily they were impressed with my set up and the fact that he did settle and was playing nicely by the time they left, I just hope he settles soon... He has come from a nursery so maybe that has something to do with it .. different environment ..

[MAWI]

I currently look after a 11 month old who will not play in the playroom when the gate is across. Obviously for safety reasons It is easier to put the gate across whillst I answer the door or something. He can still see me as my whole downstairs is fairly open plan, but I have a gate into the playroom.

He screamed for about three weeks but is now a lot better, he justs hold sonto the bars and watches, bless him.

I also look after a 22 month old girl who gets over so upset when other parents knock the door and come into the house. it is because she is expecting her Mum or Dad and cannot cope with it being someone else's.

[rickysmiths]

I have had one from 2mths old he is now 21 mths. He goes through phases where he will scream for England bless him if I leave the room. A couple of weeks ago he started this when my son (17) came in the room and has stopped this week so reason that was clear.

[blue bear]

My lo 18 months does this, was terrible to begin with. I rub her back or her head if I'm stood up when someone comes in or go out, she copes well now as long as I'm able to reassure her the whole time

[crazyhazy]

I currently have a 13m old who is very like this, but I don't even have to leave the room for her to start crying, if I carry her into the room and put her on the floor then sit on the sofa for example she starts crying too. She started with me in sept and to be perfectly honest I am seriously considering giving notice, I just don't think I am right for her. She is at nursery 2 days a week and with me 1 day and I think it's probably just too confusing for her. Oddly when I take her to rhymetime she is fine, will happily wander away from me and interact with other parents, children etc and apparently she has settled ok at nursery, which is another reason i think it's maybe just not meant to be.

[miffy]

I had this with a 10 month old and the child was the same at home when mum left the room, child would not even crawl after you just sat screaming until you came back into the room. I just used to carry on and talk to them all the time when I left the room and eventually they grew out of it. Hope it's short-lived for you too.

Miffy xx

[Chimps Childminding]

I currently have a 13m old who is very like this, but I don't even have to leave the room for her to start crying, if I carry her into the room and put her on the floor then sit on the sofa for example she starts crying too. She started with me in sept and to be perfectly honest I am seriously considering giving notice, I just don't think I am right for her. She is at nursery 2 days a week and with me 1 day and I think it's probably just too confusing for her. Oddly when I take her to rhymetime she is fine, will happily wander away from me and interact with other parents, children etc and apparently she has settled ok at nursery, which is another reason i think it's maybe just not meant to be.

I have one similar!!! He is just 1 and has been with me since the beginning of August. He screams if I leave the room (even if I am still in sight - I have an open plan kitchen/diner with a Babydan room divider across it so its not as if I disappear into a black hole). Even if I just stand up to get something from the same room he starts!!!

He is with mum 2 days a week, nan 1 and me the other 2 and I think they leave the gates open or he follows them around, but its just not feasible when you have another 2 children at the same time.

Have to admit if I knew a nice way of telling mum, I would give notice but I know I would be mortified if someone told me they couldn't look after my child anymore I keep hoping one day he will come and be a happy little boy