Feeling a bit low today

[lady boss]

Hi all,

I posted other night about parents questioning me over little boys sudden dislike to baths. It may sound silly but i am a real worrier at the best of times, but i really feel as though they think i have done something to contribute to this!!
I understand as a parent myself how much we worry about our kids, but this is making me feel very uncomfortable. They both came in last night saying how strange it is that he just screams now when they bath him and cant understand why. I suggested that he may be associating bedtime with bath time now and explained how my daughter went through a stage of this herself, but they just looked at me as if i was talking rubbish!! I feel so down about this, as i work so hard all day caring for him and entertaining him as if he were my own ( as i'm sure we all childminders do)
I also have my own worrys at the moment with my own daughter at school not wanting to go as girls are being spiteful to her, which breaks my heart.
Sorry to rant on but i find it helps to get off my chest!
I keep trying to tell myself i am doing a great job but i was actually thinking about just packing it all in and going back out to work again!!
We are just about covering my old wage but so skint at the moment....I still need a double buggy so i can take more mindee's but havent got the money to afford one at the moment!!AAHHHH!
Oh dear i sound like a right old moaner....Sorry i dont know whats the matter with me today,think i'll just blame the weather as its raining again here!
Thanks for listening x x x x x x x

[angeldelight]

Oh poor you - your not a moaner at all

Glad that you can come here and tell us so we can give you support

I would feel the same as yourself in the situation regarding the bath - parents can make you feel uncomfortable at the best of times
Not sure what advice to give you really maybe one of the others will know ?

Sorry also to hear about your daughter how old is she - I had problems with my daughter when she was younger with girls picking on her
How old is she ?

I always think when you are down about something other things seem heaps worse and make you feel worse in yourself

Sorry I cant give much advice but here if you need me you can pm anytime

Hope you are ok

Hugs to you and your daughter

Angel xx

[crazybones]

Sorry you are feeling low. I think a lot of us are feeling that way at the moment. I know girls can be little madams sometimes and horrible to each other. Not sure what to advise about the bath thing but tend to agree with you about the association with bed thing. Hope you feel a little better for letting of steam on here.

[Pauline]

I'm not sure what to say either, will have to have a think. But don't feel guilty, it could easily be something THEY have done!

But please don't think you are a moaner - a problem shared is a problem halved - as they say! You feel free to come and have a chat about it all!

[katickles]

I would also be worried - you can't help it, but you know you realy shouldn't be, you've done nothing wrong. If this lo is creating a big fuss, maybe mum & dad are playing upto it which will make lo playup even more!

Did you log the conversation & ask them to sign it?

You could also talk to them & let them know that your worried that they think that you have contributed to this in some way & they have made you feel slightly uncomfortable?

Don't think your alone in this - we're all here to listern, the best thing you can do is get it off your chest.

Hope that it brightens up soon & that your feeling a little better later!

Hugs

[ruby]

i know how easy it is to worry but i am sure you have nothing to worry about
it could be something they have done or said and the child is playing up to it.

have you been to see the teachers at your daughters school and explained the situation maybe they can help. i now it did when rachel was being bullied at school.

hope you are feeling a better soon

cathy

[yummymummy]

Unfortunately some parents will apportion blame for any change in their children's behaviour elsewhere! Don't worry, I don't see how your care of their child can have any affect at all on bathtime, you are probably just taking it all to heart due to your other worries.
My daughter was picked on too, but the school picked up on it at the same time as me and dealt with it really well. They involved all the children in the two classes of the year with circle time chats and called in the parents involved too. Go and see the teacher ASAP to try to get it sorted.
I really hope things on the financial front pick up too. I feel like I moan all the time to my husband and friends as when you work alone you don't have the release valve of conversations and support of work colleagues. There will always be someone to listen on this site and hopefully offer useful advice!

[fionamal]

Dont know if this will help or not but both my 2 kids went through a stage of screaming when in the bath as well and not sitting down. I bought a shower toy that stuck to the side of the bath and sooked the water up so you could press the button and the water came out the little shower head. This made them want to go and have a bath. It did pass after a couple of weeks and now i have the oppposite where i cant get them out the bath.

Dont feel guilty as alot of parents try to blame us for everything that happens in the childs life.

[sarah707]

I have found parents are quick to blame and very slow to apologise or let you know when something is going well...

Do they insist on bathing the poor little man every night? Has some shampoo got in his eye? Was the water once too hot? Has he been dragged away from his toys for bath time? Is he thinking it can't possibly be bedtime if it's light outside? Has he been taken swimming and got scared there? Is there a bath toy he does not like?

Lots and lots of reasons why it's not you!!

Why not put out a bowl and some undersea creatures and let him have a splash...? Then get a photo to show how much he enjoys water play with you!

Hugs xx

[Blaze]

Nothing to add...just wanted to send you

[Tatia]

Sarah's made a good point. Do you take photos and obs of the little guy? Might be time for the parents to see what a great time he has with you. The water play is a great idea and you can say you were trying to think of ways to help him overcome his bathtime aversion!

I do find it funny how something that happens on their time, with their child, can suddenly be linked to you.

[berkschick]

I am sorry you are feeling so down.

I dont know what to say but I send you lots of hugs.

[venus89]

By the way.... I got given a double buggy from a lovely lady on Freecycle.... It's in super condition and has raincover and cosytoes - might be worth asking if anyone on your local group has one going?

[mrsb]

Everyone has said what I was going to say, including the freecycle bit lol.

I did just want to send a *hug* though, Parents feel it is their right to treat us how they want because in their mind we are their employees not real people.

Hope something gets sorted soon x

[Rubybubbles]

oh hun hugs to you


I would write this all down, and like said do lots of water obs and show how much he enjoys the water

not sure how old the lo is but remember both my kids going funny at bath time, what a cheeky for blaming you, acussing you, sorry I couldn't work with parents liek this for long

[Pipsqueak]

Sending you hugs.

I will agree with what everyone is saying - parents are very quick to point the finger elsewhere - especially a "new" person in the lo's life. Don't shoulder the blame here - use the questions that Sarah has presented to fire back at them and give them some food for thought and show that you are not going to be walked over.

More than likely this is a stage the little lad is going through - ALL children have their stages and moments. Blimey once over James loved his bathtime and then went all boy on me and preferred the dirty smelly look, screamed blue murder if you took him anywhere near water never mind a bath! We had to close the windows, turn the tv up, radio/cd on and encourage the dogs to bark for hair washing to drown out the screams. Now we are back to loving bath time - actually its more a pain to get him out!

Write it all down and get parents to sign for accuracy again this will show them you have nothing to hide, take their concerns seriously - add in at the end that you will introduce more water based activities (if you want to) to encourage enjoyment and that you will not be walked over.

I do hope your daughter is ok - have you been into school to speak to teachers etc?

You moan away - we are great listeners on here! (())


ps forgot to add ask you DO if they have any spare buggies going - that is where I got mine from!

[Spangles]

Sorry you are feeling so low.

I think it's awful how these parents are making you feel. Lots of children go through funny phases about having baths! I know I used to really protest when I was little but then I didn't ever want to get out!

As for the double buggy - could you register with Freecycle and keep an eye out as they come up quite regularly on there and wouldn't cost you a penny!

[littlewonders]

There has already been lots of advice given, I just wanted to say I am sorry your feeling down, I hope you feel better soon and that the parents lay off you! and also that your daughters problems are sorted soon. What a hard time for you both

[wendywu]

I would let them know in no uncertain terms that it is nothing to do with you. Say "well he is a happy content and secure little lad with me, i suggest you both have a long hard think as to what you may have done to cause this distress that happens when he is with you"

My friend who is a minder is always getting double and single buggies off free cycle.

As for your daughter go in hard and fast and get the school to nip it in the bud. Be a pain in the schools side if need be. No one has the right to upset your daughter.

Take all three problems and seperate them and they will not seem so bad. You can solve them one by one. Put them all together and they will all become to much. Believe me we have all had parents like this.

[Mollymop]

Oh poor you! I am a worrier too so I know how you feel.
I hope you get it sorted out with the parents. Maybe it was a passing comment from the parents and they won't bring it up anymore?
My child hates going to school too, and it breaks my heart as well.
Hope you are ok