Potty training - When is READY?!

**buzzy bee** · 09-08-2011, 08:12 AM

Just wondering your thoughts on this as you all have more experience than me (none!)

I've been thinking I'll wait til my toddler is telling me before he does a poo/wee, and is showing signs of wanting to use the loo.

However, a couple of my parents have recently said they have started potty training with their toddlers of a similar age.

In my opinion, they aren't ready, because they're not ready to say "I need a wee/poo". However the method they're using is to sit their toddler on the potty 20 mins after they've eaten or drunk anything, and wait for them to wee/poo.

To me, this isn't truly being ready, because it still requires the parent/childminder to do it for them.

It also is a big inconvenience, as it means I'll have to make sure I stay home for half an hour after they've eaten, and at the moment they all have access to their drinks all the time and drink from them throughout the day, whereas I'll have to stop this I guess.

Just wondering what your views are on this, and am I being completely unreasonable?

I haven't said anything to the parents about my thoughts!

**Rain or Shine** · 09-08-2011, 08:21 AM

I think you know when a child is ready in themselves.

My Daughter turned 2 on July 7th and has been telling me when she poos. Over the last few weeks she has been wondering around the house with nothing on her bottom half and has been doing all her wees and poos on the potty. In fact, I think we have only had 2 accidents cause she was so focused on playing. (I'm not minding, wouldn't do it this way if i was)

One probem I am having is that if i put her in knickers she wees in them. I think she thinks if there is something on her bottom half she can wee in them and if there is not she uses the potty. I think i will be trying to teach her to pull her knickers down first next.

Good luck xxx

**jane5** · 09-08-2011, 08:25 AM

I think that sitting them on the potty doesnt mean they are trained that is just getting lucky, being able to hold it and saying they want the potty even if you have to remind them is when they are potty trained.
Sorry I have no advice as I am still potty trainig my 3 yr old dd and I feel like banging my head against a wall

**JCrakers** · 09-08-2011, 08:49 AM

Sitting a child on a potty for 20mins until they have weed is not really the way to go about it. By chance they will wee if they have had a drink.

I wait until they are ready by these signs
Being uncomfortable when wet/poo'd
Telling that they have done a poo or need one
Being old enough to say verbally or by actions that they can tell you
Maybe having a dry nappy for a length of time
Showing signs of not wanting the nappy on

I recently tried a 2and a half yr old but even though she was physically ready she wasnt mentally ready and started to hold the wee for 6 hrs or more and wouldnt release it so we stopped and are going to try again later.
becky

**buzzy bee** · 09-08-2011, 10:43 AM

I really don't think he is ready, but I guess that is one of the downsides of this job - sometimes we have to go with mum even when we don't agree with her!! I just don't see how it's going to work in a setting with 2 or 3 other children and trips out etc...

**sandy64** · 09-08-2011, 05:48 PM

hi i would say in my experience when a child is holding there urine for at least an hr and can say wee toilet.etc then its worth starting if you sit a lo on potty for 20mins each time you maybe lucky but if a child cant communicate their needs how will you no. its not a rush to potty train go with your instinct only you no your child you dont have to follow peers. your not being unreasonable your having common sense. good luck

**khlwomitchell** · 09-08-2011, 08:19 PM

started training my daughter at 2 and a bit years but she couldn't talk (is only just on sentances at 3yrs) so i couldn't wait until she spoke!

My mum always said as a rule of thumb girls can be ready from 2 yr and boys from 2 1/2 years so i try about then and see how it goes. you'll know if its worth it pretty quick. but once you try for a good few weeks don't go back again. all or nothing, though bedtime nappies are a choice!

ps most kids wee when they first wake or start stirring, good time to try the potty in a routine.

**Mrs Pootle** · 09-08-2011, 08:27 PM

I waited until my dd (then aged 2) could tell me she'd done a wee/poo and wanted her nappy changing. She was in cloth nappies which I think helped as she felt wet straight away, there was none of this "keeping the wetness away from babies bottom" that you get with disposables.

Also, a big thing for me was that she could pull her pants up and down herself. I don't feel they are really trained if you sort out the pants and lift them onto the potty yourself. IMO it should be an independant act.

I have a mindee at the moment who tells me he needs to wee, so we go to the bathroom and he then just stands and waits. I have to remind him each time to pull down his pants, as I am sure mum does this for him when he's at home.

**Amyathome** · 09-08-2011, 08:57 PM

Hiya,
I've been training my 31/2 year old son for a couple of months now. We took him out of nappies at the end of June and we haven't gone back. At times I have felt like it and definitely felt like banging my head against a brick wall. He has been ready for a while he took all his nappies off when they were wet or dirty always told me after he had pooed and sometimes told me when he was doing a wee. He is very independent and gets caught up in play and doesn't see the need to tell me. He also held his wees in for hours but over the last week he's been going every couple of hours so easier to manage. He has started telling me when he needs to go or if you ask him agrees. Maybe he is finally getting it! He has been mostly dry at night for the last month.

I think patience is key and wait till they are ready otherwise it will stress you both out. My son has taken the longest out of anyone I know but I've always had confidence that he will get there.

Good luck whatever you decide

**Mamma4Ya** · 10-08-2011, 08:09 AM

Originally Posted by Mrs Pootle

I waited until my dd (then aged 2) could tell me she'd done a wee/poo and wanted her nappy changing. She was in cloth nappies which I think helped as she felt wet straight away, there was none of this "keeping the wetness away from babies bottom" that you get with disposables.

Also, a big thing for me was that she could pull her pants up and down herself. I don't feel they are really trained if you sort out the pants and lift them onto the potty yourself. IMO it should be an independant act.

I have a mindee at the moment who tells me he needs to wee, so we go to the bathroom and he then just stands and waits. I have to remind him each time to pull down his pants, as I am sure mum does this for him when he's at home.

Totally agree, I too used cloth nappies on both my girls from birth, my eldest was using the toilet by the age of two my younger daughter a little older. With my son I used dispossable nappies and it took forever to get him potty trained.

**singingcactus** · 10-08-2011, 10:59 AM

For me, ready is when I am able to give the time to train the child. A time when I do not need to be going out every day for school runs etc. A time wen I can give the kids loads and loads to drink, so they are peeing every few minutes, so they can get loads of practise at it. For me ready is when I
am able to give the time to train the child. Language is unnecessary. Training is about teaching and instructing - in the same way you teach a child to read - you don't wait for them to know a bunch of words to show they are ready, you just teach them. Potty training is no different.

**buzzy bee** · 10-08-2011, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by singingcactus

For me, ready is when I am able to give the time to train the child. A time when I do not need to be going out every day for school runs etc. A time wen I can give the kids loads and loads to drink, so they are peeing every few minutes, so they can get loads of practise at it. For me ready is when I
am able to give the time to train the child. Language is unnecessary. Training is about teaching and instructing - in the same way you teach a child to read - you don't wait for them to know a bunch of words to show they are ready, you just teach them. Potty training is no different.

Language may be unnecessary but surely COMMUNICATION is important. If the child isn't able to communicate with me that they need a wee or a poo, then surely they're not ready?