Lost 'Comforter' HELP

[NicoleW]

My mindee, is 4 and she's very attached to a rabbit that she brings everyday.

She keeps putting it down and forgetting to take it places, or leaving it everywhere.

Today however I've totally lost it, she's put it down somewhere but I can't find it in my house so it might be in Sainsburys. I'v ephoned them and nothing has been handed in, I 'm dreading telling her mum who is due to drop by anytime soon as she really loves this rabbit.

I feel guilty, but my partner says that it isn't my fault because it's not my responsibility?

Is it my responsibility to look after her rabbit, and am I in the wrong for it getting lost?

Really need to find it I have asked her mum not to bring it but then the girl gets upset so mum lets her have it

[pinkbutterfly]

Don't blame yourself it's not your fault. You din't forget the rabbit ... the little one threw it somewhere. I know some minders have a policy about things that are brought to them maybe it's time to write one. One she's gone have another look at home maybe it's somewhere. I have a mindee who brings muslins ... she always stuffs them somewhere ... last time she put in in the piano ... I found it a week later ... when I wanted to play it ... lifted the cover and there it was ...

[NicoleW]

LOL!

I'm convinced it is in the house, and yes I will write a policy now thanks. She flies to France on friday so desperately need to find it before then.

Think I will have a new rule that except from the first week, not to bring any of their own toys here or comforters

[Mouse]

I have one lo who always brings his beloved blanket with him. It often gets lost in the house, but I have a rule that it never leaves the house! As soon as he puts it down in the daytime, I pinch it & put it in his bag. He has it again at sleep time, but I always try to remember to put it away when he wakes up.

If it does get lost, at least I know it has to be in the house as we don't take it out. I hope your lo's rabbit turns up safe & sound

[PixiePetal]

I try and keep them to the house although 'blue bear' of current mindee does come out, if we are out for a whole day, for sleep time - then it is back in bag for me to take home So far so good.

[carolyn01]

I had the same thing happen and the child left her rabbit (favourite toy) in elc bexleyheath. We did nt know where it had gone as we'd been to the park, shopping and when I told mum she was not happy and shouted at me (even though we were friends). Apparently she would'nt sleep without it and at 8pm was inconsolable (mum went to all shops we had been to in bexleyheath next day and saw it propped on counter in elc). I felt really guilty as I was the one who said she could take it when I picked her up and mum was at work, her sister didn't know she had taken it either. Luckily it was found but now I panic if I see a comfort toy and try to put it in their bag as soon as possible. Mum said 'sorry' to me later but I understand as it was her favourite toy she slept with and it was me who let her take it out the house.

[mushpea]

any dummies or comfort toys go in their bags and only come out if they are very upset or they need a nap and i try to avoid taking them out with me or if they are due a nap when we are out then as soon as they nod off I take the toy away and put it in their bag.

[NicoleW]

Mum is getting a bit funny with me now and saying that I've lost it.

I try and keep it in the house but the girl makes such a fuss and mum said it goes with her everywhere and now I don't know what to do.

Girl is crying her eyes out and mum is saying it's all my fault, I've even just walked up to sainsburys and three routes we walk to make sure it wasn't on the floor!

[AliceK]

Oh dear poor you.
TBH I feel it's unfair of the parent to be having a go at you. If their child has a comforter which is THAT important to them then if that parent lets them bring it to yours it may get lost and it's not your fault. When my DS was about 2 he had a tortoise he had had since he was born. It went everywhere with him and he needed it to sleep. One day I accidentally left it at his childminders and she lived 45mins away from me. Yes he was upset but at the end of the day it was MY fault for letting him take it everywhere with him and not my childminders fault that she hadn't put it in his bag. OK it wasn't lost but you get my drift?

xxxx

[Chimps Childminding]

I also try and put comforters away in the bag as soon as I can. If they have to come out with us they stay in the car (having a sleep while we shop etc). I too have spent hours looking in toy boxes, behind sofa's etc. for things mindees bring with them from home - its a nightmare I was lucky with my sons only one had a comforter as such and it was just a terry bib, didn't matter what terry bib

[sillysausage]

This is going to sound very harsh but I don't mean it to IYSWIM. The little girl is 4, yes it's going to be traumatic losing a comforter, but just like with dummies etc she can/will manage without it (even though she will make parent's lives hell for a while...well until she falls asleep).
I once 'lost' a mindees bunny that she took everywhere. Looked every where I could think of, put lost signs on lamp-posts going to school etc. It turned up a month later stuffed behind a box in my craft cupboard. When I gave it to my mindee and said where I'd found it she suddenly remembered that she had been playing hide and seek with it and it had found a really good hiding place

[miffy]

Mum is getting a bit funny with me now and saying that I've lost it.

I try and keep it in the house but the girl makes such a fuss and mum said it goes with her everywhere and now I don't know what to do.

Girl is crying her eyes out and mum is saying it's all my fault, I've even just walked up to sainsburys and three routes we walk to make sure it wasn't on the floor!

Hope everything's calmed down now and you are OK?

Has rabbit turned up? If it does then I'd make a new rule that it isn't taken out of the house again.

Miffy xx

[georgie456]

Mum is getting a bit funny with me now and saying that I've lost it.

I try and keep it in the house but the girl makes such a fuss and mum said it goes with her everywhere and now I don't know what to do.

Girl is crying her eyes out and mum is saying it's all my fault, I've even just walked up to sainsburys and three routes we walk to make sure it wasn't on the floor!

Oh dear that is a little unfair of her This is NOT your fault. I have one child who cannot live without his Pluto soft toy. Mum has 2 back up's in case they ever get lost. He is still in a buggy, so when we go out, Pluto gets a wrist strap around his neck and is tied to the pushchair so he can't be launched out.

I hope it turns up, but if it doesn't then please don't feel too bad - it's just one of those things that happen unfortunately. Hope mum realises this too

[Babycat]

All these parents should get a grip! If its that important they should move heaven and earth to get a second one! My LO (6months) fell in love with this random teddy from the little white company. It was a season before teddy bear but I emailed, called and had people get it from the only store .. and the last 2 that where left! So now he has one for emergencies! Its not your fault that this has happened so dont feel bad! x

[NicoleW]

She's just text me syaing how fuming she is, and that she pays me to look after her child and I've lost the most precious thing in the world to her.

They can't get another one as she got it in France when she was 8 weeks old.

To be honest, it seems to me that its more mum making a fuss of this rabbit than the girl, I think she's reinforced the childs NEED for her "have you got rabbit" "make sure you get rabbit"

I've not found it and now I have no clue where it is, but I feel awful, I feel that it's all my fault that this poor girl is distraught.

My OH said "Oh well, she'd have had to learn to sleep without it and be without it sooner or later". Which, makes sense, but it should be up to mum when that happens, not when it gets lost

[blue bear]

These things happen, yes you feel bad, yes the lo will be distraught goi g to bed and yes parent is taking out her frustration on you. But there is nothing more any of you can do so everyone is just going to have to get over it. I remember my 3 year old (now 16) leaving his cuddly in the play park, putting him to bed was awful but he bounced back like children do.

Hopefully mum will have calmed down over night after all the most important thing is you didn't forget the lo! Lol

[samb]

Oh gosh poor you! I am afraid both my children have comfort toys. My dd was 4 when they were not allowed out of the house anymore and at just turned 3 my ds is still allowed to take 1 out. Luckily we have never properly lost 1 but it can be a bit of a worry when we almost do. This is going to sound awful but I do not let one of my mindees take his out It is a HUGE double layered fleece blanket, I was letting him take it but I find he throws it or watches it fall out of the buggy which then goes under the wheels etc and I am always picking it up all dirty and starting to rip round the edge etc. So now it stays inside and I put in bag whenever I can too. I do feel awful doing this though as I do let my son who is older take his out! However after reading this I feel I should really stop ds soon too.

I can understand parent feeling upset but it's not like anything can be done about it and actually children will adjust to things like that when they need to. I don't think it is the end of the world. Does she use the comforter at particular times? Could you suggest different comfort routines? Does she suck her thumb when cuddling it? I ask as mine do. My dd is only allowed hers in bed now and it is greatly cut down how much she sucks her thumb. Maybe you could mention something along those lines if that would help?

[leeloo1]

What an incredibly rude parent - they pay you to look after the child, not her toys!! I hope you texted back 'I'm sorry the rabbit is lost, I was afraid this would happen as 'mindee' has a habit of leaving it lying around - which is why I've asked you before not to bring it!' At 4 the child is well old enough to look after her own possessions!

I had this before when a 20 month old mindee threw a comfort toy out of the buggy, I only realised when we got home and the kids were going down for their naps. I did feel completely awful and that afternoon went back to the park we'd been at and looked up and down the streets, to no avail (it looked like a filthy rag, so no-one would have known it was precious). I was very apologetic to the parents, who were clearly concerned but were sweetness itself about it and told me not to worry! The child now has a number of other comfort toys (after a few sleepless nights without the original one!) and I do panic about taking them out - now mindee is 2 yrs 9 I now don't take them out anymore!

Another little one likes to take a small comfort toy out (different ones) and I only take them out if I can tie them onto something... the other day I made 'reins' for her little mouse out of a shoelace and halfway round a park my son (2 yrs 6mths) said 'Look Mama meme-mouse is walking by itself' - sure enough the mindee had chucked meme-mouse out of the buggy and the shoelace was just long enough that it was bouncing on the ground and looked like it was walking!

[angeldelight]

She's just text me syaing how fuming she is, and that she pays me to look after her child and I've lost the most precious thing in the world to her.

They can't get another one as she got it in France when she was 8 weeks old.

To be honest, it seems to me that its more mum making a fuss of this rabbit than the girl, I think she's reinforced the childs NEED for her "have you got rabbit" "make sure you get rabbit"

I've not found it and now I have no clue where it is, but I feel awful, I feel that it's all my fault that this poor girl is distraught.

My OH said "Oh well, she'd have had to learn to sleep without it and be without it sooner or later". Which, makes sense, but it should be up to mum when that happens, not when it gets lost

Yes I am sure the child loves it but wouldn't know or understand where it came from.

I think its a shame that its lost but its NOT your fault, these things happen and it could have easily happened with mom - just a shame it was with you

I am amazed at how rude she is being though

If I was you I would not apologise or feel guilty any more

I bet mom buys a replacement and the little one loves it so don't worry about it

Big hugs to you

Angel xx

[Pipsqueak]

I would be having 'words' with this parent telling them this is not your fault and you have cared for correctly and returned THE most precious thing.. her child.

i have a mindee age 2 who has a toy monkey.... (mum has a back up but he knows).... I have managed to detach him from his dummy (but its the first thing mum gives him as soon as she sees him ) but his monkey..... that goes everywhere with us. We did loose it once.... and mum was ok with me..... monkey did turn up ok eventually.

My middle son now age 11 has a comforter still - a very very raggy cot blanket!

You cannot be expected to ensure the safety of all possesions.... at the end of the day - this child will be starting school soon.... is the parent going to have a pop at the teachers like this.. no ... so don't stand for it yourself.