concern

[Gracie's mamma]

I have a new little boy just started with me .
He will be 3 in November and is potty trained.
I have a couple of concerns over him. . .
He lives with his mother and stays with his Nan on one day and sleeps at his Daddy's one night , (the mother works a couple of night)
He will not do a wee or poo at my house , he comes at 8.30 - 5.00, he has poo'd himself through this.He will start physically shaking when ???i tell him off/ talk to him for hitting.
He gets very up set over certain things and goes into a foetal position saying 'leave me alone'
I'm just slightly concernd over this little chap, he can be fairly rough with the other smaller baby (holding their heads in a tight grasp) he told one to 'shut up; this morning ??
Am i being silly ??
Where should i write any concerns down??
I have told the mum about the loo problem and she said he's always been a bit shy about going at others peoples house. I think he's ok at his dads and nans

[Pipsqueak]

Yes I would be writing down and logging all incidents and concerns.

The shaking and curling up is a concern imo.

I would also be taking advice immediately from your LSCB - you can do this initially without giving your name

or speak to the NSPCC or even NCMA safeguarding team.

[Happy Bunny]

For a child of that age to go into a fetal position and say leave me alone, to physically shake when being spoken to then yes I would say there are concerns.
Holding another childs head and saying shut up is not what i would call normal behaviour at all.

I would be reporting my concerns to someone. Little alarm bells were going off in my head whilst reading your post.

[Gracie's mamma]

what is an LSCB ??
where do i write these things down ??? Is it in a special book ?? or do i just write them down and keep them away locked ??

[Happy Bunny]

You need to contact your local safeguarding childrens board or the NCPCC for advice, they will be able to tell you the next steps that you can take.
Write everything down on a incident sheet or a piece of paper with all concerns that you have, details of conversations with parents and their reply.

[dollydally]

My three year old mindee puts her hands round her one year old sister's throat. Does a lot of squeezing, slapping and pushing too. I gave notice last week as it was just becoming too much for me to put up with and I couldn't give her my best as I can't warm to her. I don't think there is anything 'wrong' with her, just intense sibling jealousy...

[tulip0803]

what is an LSCB ??
where do i write these things down ??? Is it in a special book ?? or do i just write them down and keep them away locked ??

The LSCB is the Local Safeguarding Children Board.

I have an NCMA form "Record of Concern" that I write any concerns on. But this is really just a lined piece of paper with the child's name & date of birth at the top so that I can record & date any concerns. So write your concerns down and date them then keep them confidentially locked away. Rather than a book I would use a sheet of paper to keep in child's confidential file unless you plan to use the book only for this child for confidentiality reasons.

Agree with contacting LSCB or NSPCC for advice

[chrissie250]

Do you have a safeguarding policy?, has the parents/carer signed this?
i would be following this at this time, i would be concerned.

[sillysausage]

I agree with others about recording your concerns, his reactions do seem a little unusual.

Additionally I would reassess how you react to him. He is only 2 1/2 and so is still very young and may not be used to being told off.

He will not do a wee or poo at my house , he comes at 8.30 - 5.00, he has poo'd himself through this.He will start physically shaking when ???i tell him off/ talk to him for hitting.

Here I would calmly reassure him that 'oh dear you've had an accident, never mind let's clean you up, maybe next time you can go on the toilet/potty'.
Could he be a bit constipated? so that when he does finally go he loses control?
If he is hitting I would say 'oh dear you've hurt X, you need to be gentle like this' and show him how to stroke the babies head (or something similar). And the same for other unwanted behaviours, show him what he should be doing rather than telling him off.

Different children have different reactions to being told off and so our strategies need to be flexible, achieving the same end result in different ways. At 2 1/2 he's still learning what is right from wrong, he's still learning about self control and he won't have developed much empathy yet.

[boxtree7]

i would probaly have a potty in the bathroom and let him choose which one to use. I would also take him up to the bathroom at various times even just to wash his hands - I would show him how the flush the toilet and enourage him to have a go. I would tell hime look at child B going up the stairs for wee etc. I would log whats going on and also how I manage his behaviour.

[Pipsqueak]

what is an LSCB ??
where do i write these things down ??? Is it in a special book ?? or do i just write them down and keep them away locked ??

You can record your concerns anywhere - keep it confidential though
As a registered childminder hun you should have a safeguarding procedure that is in line with your local safeguarding boards procedure.

I would strongly urge you - if you haven't done already, to pick up that phone today and ring your local social services duty desk. If you can't ring them - ring the NSPCC - they are the ONLY other organisation that are able to act on behalf of the child.

i know its a huge scary step but something that needs to be done. This is something you cannot and should not leave.

You will then need to follow up your verbal phone report in writing to social services within 48hrs