I lost my cool :(

[buzzy bee]

My 3 yr old mindee refuses to eat dinner. He's fine through the day it's just dinner. I think his mums made it an issue by giving it lots of attention and I've tried to ignore it and just not give him attention for it.

Anyway tonight I got cross with him told him to get down and I was throwing it in the bin and took it to the kitchen.

In just sick of cooking for him every night for him to turn his nose up tell me it looks disgusting and not even touch it, just sit there looking at it.

Really annoyed with myself for losing my cool as he now knows that it does get to me just like it gets to his mum!!

[princess_kimbo]

At the end of the day you're only human, we all do things in the heat of the moment sometimes that we regret later. I know how stressful it can be with children that won't eat, I have a lot like that (although granted I work in a nursery so there's more support there whereas you're dealing with it alone) and we go with the 'ignore and they'll eventually give in' technique.

[Mouse]

What time does he go home? Could you suggest to mum that as he's not eating at your house, you will just give him a snack and he can have his dinner at home?

[Chatterbox Childcare]

Ask mum for a plate to be given to you in the morning and dish it up on here. If he doesn't eat it give it to mum at collection. It took 2 weeks of this to work with mine, as long as mum doesn't give something else when he gets home

[kel1983]

Sounds just like the LO I mind. She knows it annoys both her family and me. I have lost it once with her and felt awful after. I took it away and told her I would put it in the bin. It still really annoys me but I try not to show it which is very hard

Lukily her mum supplys her lunch and she goes home at 4 so I dont have to do her dinner. I don't like wasting food.

[Alibali]

I had one that just wasn't hungry at the time we do dinner, so spoke to mum and suggested they share dinner together at home, she is collected at 4.45, so plenty time for dinner at home. She happily wolfs down her afternoon snack now though

[breezy]

one I mind was like that messed around for ages until he realised he got nothing else from mum or me and if he didnt eat he'd go hungry until next mealtime. Dad used to give in and give him chocolate

[mushpea]

I lost it today too,,, 7yrold with green bogies up his nose to the point where other children noticed it and pointed it out cause he wont blow his nose but just sniffs,, anyway he asked for a tissue so i said go and get one,, where from he says,,, now there are tissue boxes everywhere in my house and obviously toilet roll and he knows this so I thought i would play him at his own game,,
me' what do you wipe your bum on'
him 'dont know'
me 'do you use your hand or a tissue'
him thinks for a minute then says 'tissue'
me 'well there we go then'
him ' can I have a tissue'
me 'GO AND BLOW YOUR NOSE ON THE TOILET PAPER AND DONT COME OUT UNTILL ITS CLEAN!'

i dont normaly shout but he was pressing my buttons and this was just as i was cleaning up from 6 of them making pizzas and an awful lot of mess with it and the reason I blew was he was about to walk across the kitchen floor which was covered in flour which i had just told him to stay off and he had walked past to tissue boxes to get to me!!!

[Carol M]

Yep, I have one too!
3 yrs old and won't eat evening meal or takes a teeny bit at a time. I believe mum has succeeded in making it an issue. She used to arrive early to "encourage" lo to eat it, offering biscuits and pudding as a reward, or saying she would "have to tell Daddy".
I reviewed as lo's behaviour bad when she arrived and it was not good for the other children. So told all parents whose lo's have tea here NOT to come before 5.30pm. I try to ignore pleas for pudding, biscuit or fruit and leave lo at table for time enough to see if food is eaten.
What is happening now is that at 5.20pm lo starts to eat very slowly only to be told no time for pudding or fruit as mum here in 5 mins! and kicks off when mum arrives.
Instead of increasing fees I introduced a charge for evening meal if required but that didn't work!
I sent a questionaire out to all asking for fav meals at home so as I could add to menu, all things i provide are on the list but lo eats them at home, so I'm getting questions like " did you put too much gravy on it" NO
"is it too salty"
like you I'm gonna lose it soon
If it continues next term I will suggest lo has tea at HOME!!
Can't be doing with it.
Carol xx

[angeldelight]

What time does he go home? Could you suggest to mum that as he's not eating at your house, you will just give him a snack and he can have his dinner at home?

Thats a good idea

But also the child is only 3 and I know it can be annoying and you feel that you have wasted food - but the parent is paying for it after all ?

Dont get me wrong I know what its like I have recently had a 3 year old who was the same it is annoying when they mess about and will not eat

The more you make an issue of it though the more he will know which buttons to press

Cook less for him so there is not so much waste - ask him what he would like - can he help you prepare it maybe? They seem to enjoy it more when they are involved
I know sometimes you might not be able to do this though

If he leaves his food then dont push it - he will soon get fed up when he thinks you do not care.
Well it worked for my little one anyway . Like I said he knows which buttons to press with you and mom
He will soon get hungry having no tea night after night

If in a few weeks there is no change then maybe ask mom if she is happy for him not to be eating or maybe he could eat at home instead ?

Good luck with this and hope he is soon eating

Angel xx

[mrs robbie williams]

I have a 3yr old who is the same so ive said now if he doesnt try a bit of everything i put on his plate he doesnt get pudding, took a week but works now it was rubbing off on my ds7 so i had to be firm xx

[JCrakers]

I have a 3yr old who takes anything from an hour upwards to eat her lunch.....

Hubbie said I dont know how you do it...he would have gone crazy before now...

Becky x

[barbarella68]

I can top that with a beauty, telling Mum that 3 year old didn't eat his dinner" oh never mind shall we go to Mcdonalds on way home" of course he couldn't get out the door quick enough. It makes you feel resentful.

[Playmate]

I can top that with a beauty, telling Mum that 3 year old didn't eat his dinner" oh never mind shall we go to Mcdonalds on way home" of course he couldn't get out the door quick enough. It makes you feel resentful.

OMG I think I would have lost it with mum

I have a 4 year old who is very controlling with food, I can't stand it I have had children in the past who are fussy and don't each much, but this one actually tells me it looks digusting. I used to love cooking before I started being a CM I now hate it

[angeldelight]

I can top that with a beauty, telling Mum that 3 year old didn't eat his dinner" oh never mind shall we go to Mcdonalds on way home" of course he couldn't get out the door quick enough. It makes you feel resentful.

Now that I would find really annoying

I think I would stop doing meals if my parents did that

Angel xx

[cuddlybunny38]

I can top that with a beauty, telling Mum that 3 year old didn't eat his dinner" oh never mind shall we go to Mcdonalds on way home" of course he couldn't get out the door quick enough. It makes you feel resentful.


I have this with a few of mine, but they are 7. One child has tea with us about 4.30/ 5pm then goes home at 5.30 and has another full cooked tea with mum and dad. A few weeks ago we had lasagne and garlic bread, this same child while I was out the room ate 3 big bits of bread then couldnt manage his dinner so I explained he should of not done that (he knows bread is not the meal it is a side dish) so explained to mum who is lovely and she told me not to worry he wouldnt be hungry as he was going out for dinner.

I have now sent out newsletters that from the 3rd May I no longer provide cooked meals, it will be packed lunch box meals. Saves on wasteage, me being in the kitchen for so long.

[nokidshere]

I have 9 year old twins who are a pita with their food.

I get exasperated when i cook something that I know they like and they still don't eat it. So now I don't bother.

I tell them what we are having and they are allowed to join us at the table only if they are going to eat. If they don't want to thats fine, they can go hungry.

Thankfully mum and dad are supportive with this - if dad is picking up then they know they wont get anything later if I have made food they like and they have refused it.

[mr man]

I have 9 year old twins who are a pita with their food.

I get exasperated when i cook something that I know they like and they still don't eat it. So now I don't bother.

I tell them what we are having and they are allowed to join us at the table only if they are going to eat. If they don't want to thats fine, they can go hungry.

Thankfully mum and dad are supportive with this - if dad is picking up then they know they wont get anything later if I have made food they like and they have refused it.

i do this too, as i have a 2.5 yo and it jsut didnt phase him that he has not eaten, drove me nuts.
I asked dad for a list of things he liked - smiley faces, hot dog saus and cheerios. thats it. well not here. Oh and to sauce on everything. It's gross how some of hem eat that - use chips like spoons...... yak.
He has tried things, but also still does the usuall - uurrghhh and pushes it away. we ignored it and now he doesn't do that. Im not too sure but i do think he gets what he wants to eat after being here, that maybe why it doesn't phase him.