Holiday nightmare

[Kes]

I know really its only me that can make this decision but wondered what other people thought.
At the moment I have booked off the last week of the summer holidays and the first week of the september term so I can settle my son into school.
I've been told that my brother in law is getting married on the friday of the second week back in september, if I want to go I would have to take the thursday and friday off work as we have some travelling to do.
I'm worried about taking that much time off as I have new children starting with me in sept. So do I not go, swop the 1st week off in sept with the 2nd week or take all of it off.

[keatingschick]

I'd take the time off. Tell them now, you are giving plenty of notice.
It's very important for you to spend the time with your son settling him in, and you won't get that chance again.
x

[The Juggler]

I agree hon. Having said that I'd be in a dilemma same as you but they are new children starting so just tell them due to family commitment you can't start until xxx date.

[janush]

take the time off, you are giving plenty of notice for a valid reason. Or as I did last september I only worked while my daughter was at school and all the parents had to find before and after school care for a week.

[rickysmiths]

It is a difficult one. We had a family Wedding a few years ago. First weekend in the Sept term. Couple who didn't live in Ireland and had no intention of living there, decided to get married there.

The result was a lot of family and friends didn't go. They all had children in school, it was going to cost a lot of money and they had all booked holiday in the school holidays. They all said the same, why didn't you do it two weeks earlier and we all would have had our holiday in Ireland and come to the Wedding.

[Pipsqueak]

It is a difficult one. We had a family Wedding a few years ago. First weekend in the Sept term. Couple who didn't live in Ireland and had no intention of living there, decided to get married there.

The result was a lot of family and friends didn't go. They all had children in school, it was going to cost a lot of money and they had all booked holiday in the school holidays. They all said the same, why didn't you do it two weeks earlier and we all would have had our holiday in Ireland and come to the Wedding.

The thing is it could have been for a zillion reasons why they didn't do it two weeks earlier. We ALL know that in the (school) hols period, prices go up. Plus at the end of the day, its their choice surely of when and where they get married. If they are a childless couple then they may not have realised the date implications.

I am sorry, but if a relative is getting married, I would hoike the kids out of school and I would cancel work. Family is WAY more important than work, school etc. Obviously some circumstances dictate the terms and effort.

[Minstrel]

The thing is it could have been for a zillion reasons why they didn't do it two weeks earlier. We ALL know that in the (school) hols period, prices go up. Plus at the end of the day, its their choice surely of when and where they get married. If they are a childless couple then they may not have realised the date implications.

I am sorry, but if a relative is getting married, I would hoike the kids out of school and I would cancel work. Family is WAY more important than work, school etc. Obviously some circumstances dictate the terms and effort.

I agree with Pip. My FIL decided to get married late afternoon on a Thursday and lives some distance from us. I asked the school for permission for two day off for the boys (the Thursday to travel in the morning, stay over and then the friday to get back). They said NO but I still took them.

[Bushpig]

100% agree with Pip.

The wedding date is up to the bride and groom, if they had to arrange their wedding around all the guests, they would never get married! They have enough stress trying to co-ordinate chapel, minister, honeymoon, photographer etc. their side.

I NEVER go away over school holidays as it's always much more expensive.

There is PLENTY of notice to tell your parents about needing this extra time off work. It's YOUR business, your terms. Plus family come first.

[kindredspirits]

Do you have a holiday booked for the last week of the hols? If not could you not swap that week for the 2nd week of sept? I'd be going whatever tbh (unless your brother isn't that close to you and couldn't give two hoots if you went or not.)

[Mouse]

I would leave your holidays as they are, book the extra for the wedding and try to arrange alternative care for the children for the time you are off. That way, you get the time off you want and the parents have somewhere for the children to go to - no one loses out and parents can't complain about being left without childcare

[rickysmiths]

The thing is it could have been for a zillion reasons why they didn't do it two weeks earlier. We ALL know that in the (school) hols period, prices go up. Plus at the end of the day, its their choice surely of when and where they get married. If they are a childless couple then they may not have realised the date implications.

I am sorry, but if a relative is getting married, I would hoike the kids out of school and I would cancel work. Family is WAY more important than work, school etc. Obviously some circumstances dictate the terms and effort.

Thats fine, if you can afford to do that. My sister and I are both Self Employed, had already booked holidays way before this wedding was announced.

The cheapest way to go was to travel on Thursday and Monday and both of us refuse to take our children out of school for a holiday or a non emergency.

My dh is a teacher and there was no way he could get time off in term time for a Wedding! Teachers just can't do that. The grooms sister is a teacher and she was no impressed with his choice of Venue and dates and was unable to go.

His apprently muched loved grandmother, who they were gutted didn't go, well she was not a well lady in her eighties so what did they expect?

Now I know it is the Couples day, but they should have some regard for the guests they want to come and they want to give them presents. It seems far too many couples these days expect the world to revolve entirely around them and to fork out endless loads of cash staying at rediculously expensive hotels buyng the very expensive presents that are often chosen. A very self centred and selfish attitude.

I am speaking from experience. Therehave been other similar wedding we have been invited to.

My own God Daughter is getting married this June and hasn't invited my husband because the venue is too expensive. She was our Bridesmaid 22yrs ago, is my oldest friends daughter, I made her mothers Wedding Cake and i said I would make hers as a gift before we heard about the invites. I suspect that I will not go to the Wedding because my poor husband quite rightly feels very peeved and said why dont they choose a venue that they can afford to invite at least all their close friends and family too?

[Kes]

Thanks for all the replies. Part of me is annoyed that they have chosen when they have for the wedding but apparantly its due to cost and a baby on the way.
I'm still deciding what to do for the best. I could swop my 2 weeks off for the start of september but I'm really busy in the holidays and not sure I can cope with doing the full 6 weeks.

[angeldelight]

Thanks for all the replies. Part of me is annoyed that they have chosen when they have for the wedding but apparantly its due to cost and a baby on the way.
I'm still deciding what to do for the best. I could swop my 2 weeks off for the start of september but I'm really busy in the holidays and not sure I can cope with doing the full 6 weeks.

Think of YOU and YOUR family

I have thought of others in the past and it gets you no where

Your family are important and you cant turn back the clock if you miss important things

You are giving plenty of notice and do not have to explain your reasons etc

Just have a lovely time at the wedding and settling your son into school

Angel xx

[Pipsqueak]

Thats fine, if you can afford to do that. My sister and I are both Self Employed, had already booked holidays way before this wedding was announced.


Like you, I am S/E - so is hubby so I understand the bind that this can be

The cheapest way to go was to travel on Thursday and Monday and both of us refuse to take our children out of school for a holiday or a non emergency.

A wedding is not a holiday - it is a family celebration and that should be encouraged and valued. Schools have a duty of care - pastorally not just educationally. Family should have more value placed upon it and perhaps this society might start to mend itself.

My dh is a teacher and there was no way he could get time off in term time for a Wedding! Teachers just can't do that. The grooms sister is a teacher and she was no impressed with his choice of Venue and dates and was unable to go.

You make it sound like it was arranged on purpose so that people couldn't attend. Its the bride and grooms day - not anyone elses.


His apprently muched loved grandmother, who they were gutted didn't go, well she was not a well lady in her eighties so what did they expect?
what a horrible thing to surmise... 'apparently much loved' who are you to question that?

Now I know it is the Couples day, but they should have some regard for the guests they want to come and they want to give them presents. It seems far too many couples these days expect the world to revolve entirely around them and to fork out endless loads of cash staying at rediculously expensive hotels buyng the very expensive presents that are often chosen. A very self centred and selfish attitude.

Whilst I agree with you in part I think that what you are saying is rather bitter and quite unnecessary. My brother and his wife choose to get married in the Dominican Republic - there was NO way any of the family could attend - that was their choice. We were happy for them though - end of.
I am speaking from experience. Therehave been other similar wedding we have been invited to.

My own God Daughter is getting married this June and hasn't invited my husband because the venue is too expensive.

eh? don't understand that bit. has she actually said this? has he aired his views about expensesive venues then and that prompted your goddaughter not to invite him?

She was our Bridesmaid 22yrs ago, is my oldest friends daughter, I made her mothers Wedding Cake and i said I would make hers as a gift before we heard about the invites. I suspect that I will not go to the Wedding because my poor husband quite rightly feels very peeved and said why dont they choose a venue that they can afford to invite at least all their close friends and family too?
[COLOR="darkred"]So you expect the couple to choose a venue that pleases other people and not them?[/COLO

my answers in red