Diaries

[Clever Clogs]

Hi all

For those of you that do daily diaries, do you put anything in it about 'negative' behaviour. I do a weekly one for my 2 and 3 year olds and changed them a little while back to include a smiley face for positive things they had done and a sad face for negative things they had done (ie hitting, not stopping outside when asked etc). The reason I done this was because previously I never wrote about the things that they had done that they shouldnt but felt as though each day I was telling the parents 'so and so has been hitting, running etc. Quite negative. My feeling was if I never told them the not so good things they would think their kids were great (which isn't always the case).

A couple of weeks ago I got a great inspection but 'time out' was brought up and asked to do a more 'subtle' version. Now I'm wondering about putting negative things on diaries wondering if because it's in writing it may be used against me or the parent can read into it more. If you know what I mean. Just wondered what other people do.

Thanks
Tracey

[Flisspaps]

For me the diaries should be as accurate a picture of the day as possible, and should reflect that sometimes the children will do things which are not positive. I wouldn't put sad faces in, but that's just personal preference.

As for being asked to do a more subtle time out by the inspector, please remember that's only one inspector's opinion, and another one may well have not mentioned it at all!

[flowerpots]

i send a daily diary home, i do try to keep the diaries upbeat and positive, i always try and discuss bad behaviour with parents, i dont tell them every little thing their child has done and only discuss the things that are on-going or i feel i havent been able to deal with/get through to the lo.

Everybody does things differently and your way sounds fine.

[Clever Clogs]

Thanks girls for your replies. After today with a lot of hitting and kicking (inc a kick to me) think I will record it but maybe miss out the sad faces.

Thanks you. Advice appreciated.
Tracey x

[Mollymop]

HI ya, yes I do state any negative behaviour. I find diaries are a good thing for us to reflect back on and to use as evidence of how our day has gone not just for mum and dad to have a flick through at the end of the day, sometimes I do forget some issues that have happened during the day and like to write it down and explain what I have done to resolve them. So put what you like in it as long as you feel comfortable.

[venus89]

I tend to write positive things and talk about the negatives only because as a Mum I've occasionally looked back at my children's preschool home book and I wouldn't like it to be negative..... But I think if it's mostly good (and certainly if you end with a positive!) then that's fine. Parents need to know about 'undesirable' behaviour and children need to know when they've done something wrong. If we continually pussyfoot around these issues how can we help children learn to resolve them?

[miffy]

I tend to write positive things and talk about the negatives only because as a Mum I've occasionally looked back at my children's preschool home book and I wouldn't like it to be negative..... But I think if it's mostly good (and certainly if you end with a positive!) then that's fine. Parents need to know about 'undesirable' behaviour and children need to know when they've done something wrong. If we continually pussyfoot around these issues how can we help children learn to resolve them?

Couldn't agree more!

If negative behaviour was really bad then I would probably record it on an incident sheet rather than in the daily diary.

Miffy xx

[wendywu]

I ONLY PUT GOOD AND HAPPY THINGS IN MINE, any badness get discussed face to face

[Kes]

I think on the diary as being a keep sake for the future as well as telling the parent about their day so I would'nt put anything negative in it.
I would tell the parent about any bad behaviour and note it down for my own records if it was a child that was constantly hitting etc.

[onceinabluemoon]

I use mine to tell a pretty accurate report of the child's day. But I do try and end on a positive note even if that is very hard to find.

[keatingschick]

To be perfectly honest I have a child who I have really struggled with behaviour issues and really struggled to find any positives. Maybe this was just because the behaviour was just getting me down and I felt it was an uphill battle.
I initially DIDNT put negative things in the diary because on my pre-reg we were told that parents didn't want to collect their child at the end of the day and be told of their negative behaviour - but like someone mentions it should be a true picture, you can't really let them go away with a false image
a) thats not helping you address behaviour issues
b) if you are constantly saying how good they have been etc, then the parents might have problems with them at home and think "why is he/she so good for the childminder but not for me?"

Also I started to put things in sort of asking mum how she dealt with things at home so we could try the same approach. I did speak to her about behaviour and so I said we would keep constant flow of info. BUT mum would just put in the diary he had been "fine" or "good as gold" at home, and I knew from other people this wasnt the case, mum was just blinkering maybe??

But I did put some stuff in because I felt she needed to know, and also I felt that I knew I was heading in a direction where the behaviour was going to get too much for me, and so if I HADNT mentioned it (mum barely had time to say HIYA/CYA never mind a chat, and then clearly was blinkered about it) then if I gave notice for his behaviour then it would have been a case of "well thats come out of the blue, you never mentioned anything"

Maybe on reflection it was quite negative, but in all honesty at times I would not know what to write as the day had been so bad, like the day of my Ofsted visit, I honestly could not bring myself to write in the diary because his behaviour through my inspection was unreal, and I just wanted to weep.

[The Juggler]

I will write, that x has been testing the boundaries a little today, we've had a bit of xxxx ' but will make sure there is good news too. I think if there were issues with a biter or aggressiveness that I would probably not write these if they were happening every day rather speak to parent at then end of the day. But for occasional or stages of behaviour I think parents like to know that their child is not only challenging them at home but you too.



Just keep it brief

[keatingschick]

I initially spoke to mum because she was also experiencing it, but she rarely has time to say hiya never mind anything else. And I found that the diary was saying he was "good as gold".
Everything came to a head a few weeks ago - hence the notice - and I said re his behaviour, she said that she didnt think he was that bad he was just "a boy", and he would never do anything in malice, he throws toys, takes anything and EVERYTHING that the little ones play with, if he sees them going for a toy its like he has a radar, he will be at the other side of the room and he will do like a rugby dive and get to the toy before the toddler does, barging them out of the way and knocking them over in the process, he will take toys off the little one and put them high out of her reach, take her dummy off her and do the same, hide things from her, block her way so she cant get out of the corner she is in, or so she cant get to me, he not only does these things with me but he has started doing it at toddler group with other children and I think the other parents/childminders are disparing at his behaviour as he constantly drives the cars head on into the other children on cars/bikes sending them flying or ramming into the back of them or into them as they push the prams around. If we go to the park I put reins on him but once we are in a safe area I will allow him to have a little run (with his parents he is allowed to run around near main roads and everything ) but he will not stop, once he is off he will just run and run and run, and often I have to abandon the pram and run after him)
I dont go into massive detail, but I will say that I've had to speak to him, but she will totally ignore it and say he is fine at home.
He turned up at my house the other week ill, when I asked mum he was fine with gran that morning, its like she constantly questions what I am saying, and thats what I said when things blew up, I feel I can't speak to her because when I do she doesnt want to listen and she makes it out that its all ME. But my Ofsted inspector saw his behaviour Thursday and couldn't believe it.