Do I take things too personally?

**helendee** · 31-03-2011, 03:40 PM

Sorry for yet another moan, that is all I seem to do on here lately but I get hurt so easily. To cut a long story short I currently look after a lovely little girl and get on really well with her parents, so much so that we have always gone the extra mile for them by giving her lifts home in the rain, dropping left over belongings to their house even though it is some way from our house, etc. She has just picked S up from me and let slip that they are having a house-warming party on Saturday and no hint of an invitation for hubby and myself. I always make the mistake of thinking that parents can become friends but they never seem to feel the same way!

Maybe I just expect too much as I am a very friendly person myself!

**Katiekoo** · 31-03-2011, 03:47 PM

Ahh try not to take it personally, I think some people like to keep a professional distance, it's not for everyone though. I'm quite chatty and friendly and actually I'm still friends with my daughters former childminder. But I fully expect the parents of my lo's to keep a certain distance and am then completely thrown if they do invite me to lo's birthday parties or want to stay and have a chat!
You never know how big a 'party' is, maybe it's just family or maybe they have limited numbers or maybe they don't want you to see them getting drunk!

**Polly2** · 31-03-2011, 03:47 PM

you sound a lovely bubbly kind person. I also am over sensitive and offend easily so I know where you are coming from.

Look at it this way - she obviously sees you as a professional and maybe doesn't think you would want to mix minding with friendship.

**The Juggler** · 31-03-2011, 03:50 PM

I am over sensitive too. However, if I received such an invite I would be thinking of a good excuse not to go, however, much I liked them. I don't want to be 'on show' with everyone inspecting their friends childminder.

Those mums I've got on really well with I've kept in touch with after their children have left, and I exercise with them and meet them for dinner drinks now, but have never socialised with them, without the children when they were still in my care.

**Debster** · 31-03-2011, 04:04 PM

Don't take it to heart some people don't like to mix business with pleasure . sometimes it best not to get to friendly with parents as some start to take liberties I have heard of a few in my time.

**keeks** · 31-03-2011, 04:04 PM

Originally Posted by The Juggler

I am over sensitive too. However, if I received such an invite I would be thinking of a good excuse not to go, however, much I liked them. I don't want to be 'on show' with everyone inspecting their friends childminder.

Those mums I've got on really well with I've kept in touch with after their children have left, and I exercise with them and meet them for dinner drinks now, but have never socialised with them, without the children when they were still in my care.

I agree, I would feel a bit unable to relax in such a situation.

When I was at the nursery, a child gave me and my colleague an invitation to her birthday party. I was gobsmacked, did the parents really think we would like to take our Saturday to go to a 4 year old child's party!

I know there is a sweet side to it but I didn't think it was appropriate of the parents to let her invite us.

xx

**georgie456** · 31-03-2011, 04:06 PM

Originally Posted by The Juggler

However, if I received such an invite I would be thinking of a good excuse not to go, however, much I liked them.

I completely agree. One of my family's throw a big Hallowe'en party every year that we've never been invited to. It's honestly never crossed my mind to expect to get an invite and as above, if I was, I would probably make an excuse!!!! Don't take it personally x

**cherry** · 31-03-2011, 04:10 PM

We got invited to a party of one of my mindees parents a few years ago and we went but we didn't enjoy it as we didn't know anyone there and they were all in little groups chatting. So we stayed for a while then made our excuses.

**Baildon bears** · 31-03-2011, 04:12 PM

I would not take it personally either, I find people want to get to know because they have heard I'm good Childminder and not because they want to become my friend. Its a bitter sweet problem I have loads of work but not many friends, think I will go and cry somewhere lol.

**helendee** · 31-03-2011, 04:16 PM

I am in the same boat as you Basildon, let's cry together

My trouble is that I wear my heart on my sleeve and am naturally friendly and warm and expect to be treated the same!! I know it is my problem and not a fault of the parents, I am just too needy!! xx

**Joda** · 31-03-2011, 04:47 PM

We were invited to mindee's mum's birthday party/disco - tbh it felt like I was working as mindee (3yrs) only wanted to sit with me - which meant I had to take him to the loo and sort out his food from the buffet etc. I think his Gran felt quite snubbed but other than his parents I was the most familiar adult there!

**Chimps Childminding** · 31-03-2011, 05:46 PM

June and I were invited to the christening of a mindee who is due to start with me at the end of June. I also have his almost 5 year old sister and 16 month old cousin!! We weren't invited to christening or any birthday party of the other 2, even tho I have had 5 year old since she was 5 months old, so not really sure why we got an invite this time, perhaps they think we don't get out much

!

True to form we ended up sat at the table surrounded by kids, colouring and reading books - actually it suited us we're not party animals

We were invited to another mindee's birthday party, but that was on a week-day and we took the mindees we had on that day with us.

**caz3007** · 31-03-2011, 06:17 PM

I have been to parties at one of my parents house. But we now share some of the same friends. I got to know other mums at the school gate when collecting her children and we all became friends. We have had a few drunken meals together, but after next friday she will become just a friend and not one of my mums as she has been made redundant

**venus89** · 31-03-2011, 06:23 PM

Oh bless you.

No, I wouldn't like to be invited. We've been to a couple of birthday parties and it's awkward - as others say, you don't know anyone there and I always end up with the children.... It's lovely to be invited but, for me, the reality is very different.

Cheer up., I'm sure she values you very very much

**SYLVIA** · 31-03-2011, 08:16 PM

My family and I have been invited to 2 sets of parents weddings plus a 40th birthday and lots of birthday parties. I'm happy to go along but just as happy if I'm not invited.