I'm soooooo upset!

[T0ffee]

I need some advice-one of my afterschoolies tried to steal my sons clothes- he put my sons t-shirt on underneath his own clothes. When his mum asked him what did he have on under his jumper he shrugged his shoulders

He had gone upstairs in my sons room and taken it, he was in the bathroom and I shouted to ask what he was doing as he took a while-child in question is an after schoolie and has been with me for at least two years, he just turned 11 at the weekend!!!

I am so upset and angry, what else has he taken I wonder

Granted his mum was mortified too but how can I trust this child in my house with my things?

He comes four nights a week after school and I am going to struggle to let him be alone, I trust all the kiddies not to take anything

[onceinabluemoon]

The simple answer is you cant trust him not to take your things, he has already shown he is prepared to do that and at age 11 he is well over the age of 'knowing better'...

Personally I would not be able to live with the thought that somebody was coming into my home and taking my things, but if you are stronger than me you could try to work with him and mum to see why he did it and work towards gaining trust again.
I don't envy you having to make the decision.

Hugs x

[T0ffee]

Thank you for that-I didn't know whether I'm being over sensitive but I have him tomorrow and he will not be leaving my side!!!!

[missymood]

Oh that's a tuff one.

Maybe there's something going on at home or school that made him want attention. I'd sit him down and discuss things at least it's out now and can only get better hopefully x

[angeldelight]

That is tough

If he has never done anything like this before I would think there is a reason for this - at 11 he def should know better

Is he jealous of your son - do you think he could be doing it for attention
Is he now at secondary school ? A child we know started Sept and has started doing things that he would not usually do and it turned out he was being bullied at school

What have his parents said about it and are they supportive - have you asked if he has done anything like this before

I would make sure he is not left unsupervised at all and see if I could find out what was troubling him - but you will def need his parents support

I think it would take a while to trust him again and until I did I would not give him a chance to do anything unsupervised

Good luck hope you get to the bottom of it

Angel xx

[T0ffee]

angeldelight, he is not at secondary school yet but it was his birthday at the weekend- possibly he wanted that t-shirt but didn't get it.

Mum is very supportive but today I was just horrified and as I had other parents waiting to collect I didn't go into detail.

Tom I will be speaking plainly to his mum and try to sort this, but think I will write a letter to let mum know of all the other things my children cannot find!!!

[mushpea]

thing here is you dont know if he has done this before and just not got caught,, i would find it very hard to trust him again,,,
I wouldnt let him out of my sight and I would sit down and explain to him how you felt and that from now on untill you feel you can trust him again he will have to be in the same room as you at all times , then when you feel happy you can gradulay leave him on his own again,,, at his age he is old enough to understand your feelings and how what he did affects you.

[christine e]

Very difficult because you cannot supervise an 11 year old in the bathroom but I would make your son's bedroom out of bounds (if it is not already) and would consider putting a lock on bedroom doors

Cx

[Pipsqueak]

I would talk to parents and say that you are willing to give the benefit of the doubt and believe this was a one off but you reserve judgement and the right to terminate with immediate effect if it were to happen again. Put it all in writing.

Put a lock on the upstairs doors.

This child is old enough to know better.

[Ava's Nana]

I had this a few years ago with one of my mindees, a girl of 10/11yrs. I’d noticed little things going missing all the time, silly things from my sons bedroom like pads, very small toys, pencils etc never thought for a moment they were being taken, just thought we had pixies coming in at night lol. But as soon as she stopped coming nothing went missing again! Had the same problem again a few months ago. I’d bought a small calendar with dogs on and it had been on my desk for ages, my young mindee, girl age 10yrs had mentioned a few times how much she liked it...then it went missing! My daughter, who used to babysit in the evenings for the mindee, found it in mindee’s bedroom a few days later anyway, she spoke to mindee and asked why she'd taken it etc and spoke to mum, mindee was so upset and has never taken anything since, that I know of (think she s so embarrassed that she got caught). Maybe if you have a chat with him, and I’m sure his gonna get a telling off from mum, perhaps u can trust him again, maybe it was just a one off and the embarrassment of getting caught will be enough to deter him from ever doing it again. good luck x

[maryp0ppins]

I wouldn't trust him in my home either & wouldn't let him leave my side.

11 year old do know right from wrong & he must have known it was wrong, why did he just shrug his shoulders

It's not his mums fault but I would be interested to see how she has maybe punished him for his behavior?

you said your boys have had things going walk about which can happen then just turn up when your not looking, but what if they wont just turn up because he has taken them?????

Defo be thinking of terminating if it was me as 4 afternoons a week is a lot to be worrying about what he's up to if you've got other LO to watch over also!!