DEALING WITH VISITS FROM NEW PARENTS AND CHILDREN

**angeldelight** · 24-03-2011, 03:06 PM

How do you deal with these visits if the children are really really misbehaved?

Do you ignore them or try to distract them?

Do you hope the parents will say something?

Do you say something yourself ? Starting the way you mean to go on?

Does it put you off having the child - or have these misbehaved children turned out to be ok once they start and the parents are not around ?

Just came off the phone to a friend who said she had just been in this situation - she had to get up and move the child away from the tv because he was standing there banging it with his fist

Mom did nothing
The mom did say though that she does not tell the children off and prefers that they are " Free Spirtis "

So what do you do if you are in this situation or how have you dealt with any other situation like this ?

Angel xx

**muffins** · 24-03-2011, 03:30 PM

If the behaviour is going to cause an injury to child or anyone else in the house, or damage to any furniture then YES I certainly do say something.

**Ripeberry** · 24-03-2011, 03:53 PM

'Free spirits' my bottom! Sounds like they are too lazy to instill discipline and in the end it will be the children who suffer as no-one will invite them into their home

**Andrea08** · 24-03-2011, 03:59 PM

mmmm think i would talk about my behaviour management policy and ask "so what do you do at home,,, etc

and then go on to say because of the numbers and safety etc we have house rules and all children are treated the same so some things are just not acceptable,

once with my coordinator i phoned and said that i was not prepared to take a family on ,,, she was none too pleased and quoted my inclusion policy to me i just told her its my life and if i cant work WITH a family then its not fare on the child SIMPLESSSS lol

**mufftie** · 24-03-2011, 04:03 PM

Think imay run a mile from a child like that unless they were coming full time then I may have time to turn them into angels with my house rules

**breezy** · 24-03-2011, 06:09 PM

I would say something, my house, my furniture, my rules!

**charleyfarley** · 24-03-2011, 06:18 PM

Free spirits, well I'd be hoping they were going to be free spirits elsewhere

I'd have to say something to the child and make sure parent saw a copy of my house rules before they left

Carol xx

**Alibali** · 24-03-2011, 07:35 PM

Truthfully? I'd not say anything and just hope they don't want the space

**angeldelight** · 24-03-2011, 07:37 PM

Originally Posted by Alibali

Truthfully? I'd not say anything and just hope they don't want the space

xx

**Tinglesnark** · 24-03-2011, 08:00 PM

I would hop up and say "ooooh careful of the TV, let's go and play with these toys/read this book" and to the mother i would say " well i am afraid that i am a firm believer in teaching children the correct way to behave in order for them to be acceptable in polite society so i am unsure that we would be compatible - but if you look on ccuk i am sure that you will find a cm more suited!"
i always pass the buck to ccuk

this is probably why i have had no work for quite some time though....

**WibbleWobble** · 24-03-2011, 08:29 PM

my brother and SIL told the family the word "NO" was not to be used when talking to my little nephew.

Oh how i have laughed as he grew up....and became a right little

"NO" seems to be used alot these days!

mandy xx

**rickysmiths** · 25-03-2011, 12:26 AM

Originally Posted by parsleypetal

my brother and SIL told the family the word "NO" was not to be used when talking to my little nephew.

Oh how i have laughed as he grew up....and became a right little

"NO" seems to be used alot these days!

mandy xx

A little saying comes to mind. ?

What goes round comes round?

**rickysmiths** · 25-03-2011, 12:27 AM

Originally Posted by Alibali

Truthfully? I'd not say anything and just hope they don't want the space

They could want the space it would be a question of do I want to give it to them.

**mushpea** · 25-03-2011, 07:12 AM

I had a family come to see me with a 2.5yrold needing care,, they were here for 20mins and in that time he didnt stop moving,, he trashed the playroom and the living room, got out every toy possible, pulled the dogs ears, the cats tail and chased the cat under the chairs and banged on the fish tank , mum said nothing to him the whole time,, and nor did I as I wanted to see how the parents acted with him and also he was in their care not mine,, he then went to see a friend of mine (childminder) and he trashed her house too and kicked her doors and she did tell him off,,, mum rang her later and said she wanted her to be his minder and my freind said no,,, mum then rang me almost in tears saying that our minded children were so loving and calm and she'd have to rethink her plans because she was worried the effect his behaviour would have on the others etc,,, I convinced her to put him with me for a trial period and he was and still is lovley,, not a total angel but does as his told and when naughty stops when i tell him too.
I knew he would be fine because she told me the nuresery he goes to dosent have a problem and I coudl see the parents didnt tell him off but I think thats more of a work-guilt thing.
on reflection,,, next time I have a visit like that i will tell the child off and try and engage them so parents know I can deal with their behaviour.

onceinabluemoon · 25-03-2011, 07:33 AM

I would watch to see how the parent dealt with their child to gain some insight into the child's home life. If parents did nothing and the child was putting himself, another child or an item in danger I would step in.

WRT 'Free Spirits' I would tell parents that we encourage a child to express himself verbally, or through arts and crafts and play, not through destructive behaviour...