HELP! my little boy is becoming a bully :o(

**buzzy bee** · 24-02-2011, 02:16 PM

I'm so upset

My baby boy is 15 months and he seems to enjoy being mean and doing things he's not meant to.

He thinks the word 'no' is hilarious, so if I say it he's more likely to do it again. I try other techniques such as distraction but he still finds it funny to keep doing it. He's very hard to distract cos he's so intent on what he's doing.

He's started being mean to my mindees and other children, earlier on he was deliberately hitting a little boy on the head with a toy and whenever I told him off he just did it again

All these other kids I look after seem so well compared and chilled out in comparison and I feel like I've done / am doing something wrong to make him behave like this.

What can I do?!

**maryp0ppins** · 24-02-2011, 02:30 PM

At 15 months old you can nip it in the bud before things get worse.

You just have to stay strong, stick to your rules what ever they are and not give in to him.

He will have to learn the hard way maybe. Probably take his favourite toy away etc or sit him out of the group (time out)

If you want to continue with your childminding and make it a success you cant expect him to miss behave and the mindee's behave as it will cause very mixed signals within the group!!

watch a stint of Jo frost for some inspiration

**buzzy bee** · 24-02-2011, 02:40 PM

Thanks...

That's the thing - I've watched supernanny, house of tiny tearaways, you name it, and i still don't seem to be able to get him to behave!! he doesn't seem to care what i do, he just finds it all really funny. i've tried ignoring it aswell (unless he's hurting someone or damaging something) but that still doesn't seem to work.

i also don't know where it's come from, and i'm worried it's gonna lead to other problems like adhd or something!!

**snufflepuff** · 24-02-2011, 02:45 PM

My son can be like this at times. He has just turned two and seems to be doing it less and less.
I'm always very firm, tell him no, that hurts X / we don't hit etc and make him say sorry (he gives a cuddle) and if he does it again he is sat in the hallway on his own. He hasn't had to go in the hallway for a long time now. He is different to your son in that he didn't think it was funny, it was usually frustration or anger because the other child had a toy he wanted or something. Which I feel I have to sympathise with, because these children come in to his home and take his toys and his Mummy- it can't be easy for a toddler to understand that. But it is still something he has to learn.

Pipsqueak · 24-02-2011, 02:46 PM

YOur LO is 15 MONTHS old - he is exploring his world, he is testing his boundaries - he is NOT being a bully.

He is also having to share his mum, home and belongings.

That said - nip it in the bud - stay firm and consistent, so much is within the tone of voice. Remove him from the situatiion if necessary, keep him close so you can distract/intervene etc.

there is no quick fix, once he figures out he can't do xyz he will move onto abc its about setting the boundaries and teaching him self control.... a life long committement from us as parent.s

**maryp0ppins** · 24-02-2011, 02:50 PM

Originally Posted by buzzy bee

Thanks...

That's the thing - I've watched supernanny, house of tiny tearaways, you name it, and i still don't seem to be able to get him to behave!! he doesn't seem to care what i do, he just finds it all really funny. i've tried ignoring it aswell (unless he's hurting someone or damaging something) but that still doesn't seem to work.

i also don't know where it's come from, and i'm worried it's gonna lead to other problems like adhd or something!!

Hmmm if you are really really concerned maybe speak to you health visitor?

I'm sure someone will correct me as I think I've only hard this and defo not found it out myself but adhd cannot be detected until 5years

Get yourself into a routine with him. Maybe a reward chart and lots of praise when he does something good.
If he is naughty tell him you will not accept it and if he does it again time out (maybe put him in a pushchair if it means your not running after him all day) It must be difficult to work with the children if it's a constant battle with your DS.

**manjay** · 24-02-2011, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

YOur LO is 15 MONTHS old - he is exploring his world, he is testing his boundaries - he is NOT being a bully.

He is also having to share his mum, home and belongings.

That said - nip it in the bud - stay firm and consistent, so much is within the tone of voice. Remove him from the situatiion if necessary, keep him close so you can distract/intervene etc.

there is no quick fix, once he figures out he can't do xyz he will move onto abc its about setting the boundaries and teaching him self control.... a life long committement from us as parent.s

Oh I agree! He is so little! Just be consistent and eventually he will get the message

**buzzy bee** · 24-02-2011, 06:45 PM

Thanks everyone for the helpful advice and the reassurance. I will stick at it!

**Sarahbelle** · 24-02-2011, 07:25 PM

Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

YOur LO is 15 MONTHS old - he is exploring his world, he is testing his boundaries - he is NOT being a bully.

He is also having to share his mum, home and belongings.

That said - nip it in the bud - stay firm and consistent, so much is within the tone of voice. Remove him from the situatiion if necessary, keep him close so you can distract/intervene etc.

there is no quick fix, once he figures out he can't do xyz he will move onto abc its about setting the boundaries and teaching him self control.... a life long committement from us as parent.s

I agree with Pipsqueak here. And maybe suggest that you change the "NO" word to "AH AH" when he does something you don't like. Sometimes little ones hear "no" to often and it completely passes them by.

**buzzy bee** · 24-02-2011, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by Sarahbelle

I agree with Pipsqueak here. And maybe suggest that you change the "NO" word to "AH AH" when he does something you don't like. Sometimes little ones hear "no" to often and it completely passes them by.

Thanks but I've tried this... and shaking my head. He knows what no means... i think he's just chuffed with himself that he's predicted what I'm going to say and he's right about it.

It's more the way he is with the other kids that upsets me - he watches them and as soon as he sees what toy they're going for he rushes over to snatch it up before they reach it. Or snatches it from them and throws it across the room. And like I said before, he hits them and pushes them and then laughs about it

I do know it must be really hard for him to share me and all his toys, but he's like it at groups and friends houses too...