Childminding like living in a goldfish bowl?!!!

**yummymummy** · 21-04-2008, 08:27 AM

Does anyone else feel like this? As parents and children have so much access to your home do any of you have the problem that I have with parents comments and opinions?
I have had comments on the amount and what my holidays must be costing! Amount of new furniture we've bought, new car etc. I've even had parents passing their opinions about new mindees or asking whether a certain one is with me today (not nosiness of course just that their child particularly likes that one!)
It absolutely drives me potty that they feel they have a right to an opinion quite frankly. I know very little of their home life and unless it directly affects my care of their child I am not interested. They wouldn't dream of telling me their plans and private matters I really don't know if I just have very nosey parents or that they feel as they are "paying me" they have some sort of right to an opinion. This isn't all my parents I must say, just some and not all at the same time thank goodness. It would be interesting to find out if any of you suffer this!

**RedDragon** · 21-04-2008, 08:34 AM

LOL. Keep them (the parents) in the hallway!

I couldn't believe it when I went round a CM's house a while back, I took my shoes off when I went in. A parent knocked on the door, came in with boots on (winter, slushy horrible weather) sat on the sofa with her boots not on the sofa but very close to it, then up the stairs to the toilet without asking!!! I was furious and it wasn't even my house!

I try to keep things to a minimum - any holidays I take are "surprise" last minute ones that husband has booked so he won't tell me how much they cost.

**cherry** · 21-04-2008, 08:37 AM

Don't get me started. I'm just going to have a new hall and stair carpet fitted. It's took me forever to save up for it and I know there will be some coments made

I have one mother who comes to collect and pushes past me saying " I'm just going to use the toilet" . how would she like it if I stopped on the way to town to use her toilet!

I do think parents don't understand that this is our homes and we don't want everyone walking through and making comments .

**Tatia** · 21-04-2008, 08:43 AM

It's not just parents of mindees. It's everyone. I get comments from parents like "a friend says your DD had a major meltdown at the grocery story on Sunday" "or so-and-so saw you at the park". So people you don't even know are watching you!

When we got our new car one of the dads said to me "when did you win the lottery?"

And one mother showed up same time as the man who delivers my ironing and was like "Oooooooh, get you! Doe we have a chauffeur, as well?"

**RedDragon** · 21-04-2008, 08:49 AM

If the parents start to walk into my house with their shoes on the kids tell them off!!! I must have them well trained. It's a big thing with me - all that yuck outside being brought in to the house!! NOOOO!

If someone asks how much you paid for something etc just say "Please excuse my rudeness for not answering and I'll excuse your rudeness for asking".

**sarah707** · 21-04-2008, 08:51 AM

I get this a lot!

It's funny really - I'd have thought they would have more in their lives to talk about than me...!

**Gherkin** · 21-04-2008, 09:02 AM

This is all so true.
I have a three floored house and the lounge is on the 1st floor which means for the most part they [parents] are contained in the hall and kitchen but they still love to comment.

I have even been accused of being standoffish to someones friend as apparantly they have spoken to me in Tesco's twice and I didn't acknowledge them. Well for starters I cannot remember who they are as I have only met them once and if I have a gaggle of children with me talking to me you have no hope of me speaking to anyone else. Mind you the children can be a very useful tool to avoid people I do not want to talk to!

**NikNak** · 21-04-2008, 09:17 AM

Yeah too right, I use the mindees to my advantage loads when out and about in Tesco etc!!!! You can easily avoid people by looking stressed and involved in conversation!!!

I have a parent who enters my home in her spiky high heels and even went into MY lounge that mindees do not use and left black marks on my cream carpet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She didnt even say sorry!

I am going to be firmer from today and keep parents in the hallway only. I shall instruct mindees to be ready to go sharpish instead of everyone hanging around like I'v got all the time in the world to chill at 6 p.m!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. (I'v got a 10 year old and 3 year old that need my full attention etc!)

Sometime it's good to let of steam. I feel better now and more positive! Defo new rules from today!

**angeldelight** · 21-04-2008, 09:20 AM

The worse thing is when they see you have something new or one of the kids tell them and they say " oh you earn too much I think I should become a childminder " ..... I wish !!

They dont get past my door but they still notice things and it can be annoying sometimes

Angel xx

**RedDragon** · 21-04-2008, 09:23 AM

Originally Posted by angeldelight

they say " oh you earn too much I think I should become a childminder " ..... I wish !!

Or the worst - "I think I'll stop work and become a babysitter like you

**angeldelight** · 21-04-2008, 09:24 AM

Yeah Claire that is even more annoying

Angel xx

**yummymummy** · 21-04-2008, 09:32 AM

Thank goodness it's not just me, your comments made me laugh!

I did used to welcome parents inside but then found that they never wanted to take control of their children and just GO HOME!!!!

I keep them all firmly in the hallway now BUT THEY STILL PASS OPINIONS!!!!
I cover a church school now and they all either go there or are trying to go there so on Sunday after church they all get together in a coffee morning and gossip. My ears haven't burned yet but you never know!!

**devoncm** · 21-04-2008, 09:37 AM

I find it annoying when they say its babysitting-if only it was that easy!! although at the moment it is only the other half forgets and says it-even worse!!!
At the moment they do come in my house but only downstairs but when i move on saturday they will only be allowed in the hall i thought i could have laminated signs saying do not enter here childrens sleeping area for the lounge and messy area etc for the kitchen and i could have a small table in corner of hall to do my reciepts and what have you in corner of hall and voila they need go no further

**RedDragon** · 21-04-2008, 10:25 AM

Or I could buy a load of barbed wire and distribute it amongst my colleagues!

**Jinx** · 21-04-2008, 11:56 AM

I hate it when I have something new, ie, new t shirt, new buggy or new car! and I get .... 'OHHH THATS NEW, I MUST BE PAYING YOU TOO MUCH!' Yeah right!

Jinx x

Pipsqueak · 21-04-2008, 02:07 PM

Yep been there done that and I have a new resolve - politely but firmly tell them that it is none of their business!

I like the please excuse my rudeness for not answering and I will excuse your rudeness for asking!!!

I really do think parents think becauase they are paying you they have a "right" to you home and personal life!

**flora** · 21-04-2008, 02:19 PM

Am I the only one who doesn't get this???

I only have two lots of parents at the moment, may be this is why.

I have only had one slightly sarky commment and that was just about the fact she has to pay me in advance. She started saying about if I had a normal job that I would get paid in arrears.

I just smiled sweetly and said that looking after R was no ordinary job and that cm's were special, like their charges and that shut her up

Sorry to hear the rest of you have a hard time.

**avril** · 21-04-2008, 03:56 PM

I don't get parents commenting or watching me BUT other childminders I should be fair not all but a certain 2 who sit and watch what everyone is doing and comment never mind the fact that the children they have with them are virtually swinging from the light fittings!!!

I now answer and elaborate the truth just to have some fun!!

Avril x

**Alibali** · 21-04-2008, 05:44 PM

I was in ASDA today with 3 mindees (just for our fruit shop) and the checkout operator asked 'Oh are you a childminder?' 'yes, I reply, then she says 'how much do you charge? my daughter says childcare is too expensive'!!!! I wish I had asked what she earned, but I never think quickly enough.

Ali

**Twinkles** · 21-04-2008, 05:46 PM

Originally Posted by avril

I don't get parents commenting or watching me BUT other childminders I should be fair not all but a certain 2 who sit and watch what everyone is doing and comment never mind the fact that the children they have with them are virtually swinging from the light fittings!!!

I now answer and elaborate the truth just to have some fun!!

Avril x

Oh now that sounds familiar