How to manage your own kids?

[newandlearning]

hi all...

I'm going through a taxing stage with my own 3 year old.. he doesn't really seem to like me minding babies.. first of all they get picked up, dressed etc etc.. and secondly they keep dismantling everything he tries to play with so he's spent a lot of time perched on the sofa watching telly as otherwise they touch his hair, pull his hoody etc etc.. and he finds it all annoying..

On top of this.. he's really being challenging at the moment.. today on the way out of school he ran out of the playground and practically into the road.. its really difficult knowing if I should be abandoning the buggy and pegging it to him.. well this is what I did do in the end...

all this palava each day along with the constant.. 'put your shoes on please' x 10 type issues are soo exhausting.. its not even 6pm and I feel like going to bed...

I'm feeling a bit low at the mo.. and feel all I'm ever doing is working or cleaning.. or cooking or washing.. or cleaning..etc etc..

I'm a single mum with 2 kids and I'm feeling exhausted.. I do get support from the dad but its all feeling like such a slog at the mo...

what can you recommend I do with my 3 year old? I sometimes wonder if he's grown out of the toys I've got.. I've not had money to buy new toys in a long time and wonder if he is getting bored...or could it just be they are not burning off enough energy.. I'm not sure

[Saranotts]

Didn't want to read and run and am sure there will be someone else along with good advice in a mo but just wanted to say that it will get easier. My dd was 4 when I started minding and at times found it very difficult to share her mummy and her home, she is now 8 and fantastic with (most ) of the children, bossing the little ones and in awe of the older ones.

I wonder if you could make him feel like a big boy and get him to help you with the little ones and perhaps do a star chart for helping, with them and also for getting his shoes on etc when you tell him.

Also know what you mean about feeling like all you do is clean etc.... often feel like that but thats where the wine and the forum come in .

Good luck

Sara

[Beetlejuice]

I sympathise - I feel some days like, although I do this job to be with my children, it can actually be really hard on them sometimes In the long run I know it's in their best interest (and mine!) to be a childminder but it doesn't mean it doesn't come with it's own challenges.

Wrt running off - do you have a wrist rein? Although your LO is 3 I would still use it - even as just a threat to get him to walk nicely. I've had the issue with my DD who is just 4 and I still threaten it some days for safety reasons. I also remember once taking my DD1 to SCHOOL on a wrist rein for not behaving when I had the buggy! Needless to say I never had to do it again.

Do you have access to a local Children's Centre? Our CC has a toy library once a week and childminders can borrow toys for 6 weeks at a time. We pay a £5 lifetime membership fee and the selection of toys is pretty cool. It means you can mix things up a bit without having to spend loads of money.

I hope things improve for you soon ((((hugs))))

[mufftie]

i have difficulty with my youngest daughter , she wasnt born when i first started minding so has known nothing else but as a toddler she became very jelous and i found i had to mind older children as she just couldnt tollerate the younger ones , now as a 6 yr old she can still be hard work , she has to fight for attention and be involved with everything it drives me mad sometimes but i have to keep reminding myself that its better than going out to work as she's not have me at all then

[crazyhazy]

I'm having exactly the same issues with my own 2y old and my 10m old mindee. My 2y is spending most of her day running awa from mindee, as she's just started cruising and is following her everywhere, pulling her hair, touching her etc, on top of that mine is having a "mine" phase with her toys. Luckily I only have the baby 2 days a week so it's managable at the moment, but I have another one starting 3.5 days a week in a few weeks time. The only thing I find that helps is lots of attention one to one when I get the chance, so when baby is napping giving lots of cuddles and playing with her toys with her, also trying to get out guarantees she is tired by bed time, like today we popped to the park for a little while. Hope it gets better for you soon x

[Playmate]

Hang in there it does improve My dd3 was a nightmare at this age with mindees and I gave up for 2 years. I returned once she was in full time school and and I haven't looked back since. As she has got older she is a real help

[Pipsqueak]

probably of no help whatsoever but I believe eating your young solves many problems! no sure of the legalities though

[mushpea]

it could just be a faze he is going through,, you get the terrible 2's and then the fearsome 3's!
if he runs off i would put the wrist strap on him and tell him that untill your ready to trust him again he will have to wear it,, give him a day of wearing it every time you go out then the next day say ' wont put it on you today if you stop when i tell you to' if he stops then great if not back to the wrist strap but be consistant with it,
as for not putting shoes on I would tell him twice and on the third time tell him hes got untill you count to 5 to put them on and if starts to put them on the count slowly to give him a chance if not count 'normaly' then if he dosent make him walk up the road without them on,,i did this with my daughter and a mindee before and it works,, only took a few steps and they soon put their shoes on then,,,,
i find with 3yrolds you have to say what you mean and stick to what you tell them,, consistancy is definatly the key

[SamBaker]

hi all...

I'm going through a taxing stage with my own 3 year old.. he doesn't really seem to like me minding babies.. first of all they get picked up, dressed etc etc.. and secondly they keep dismantling everything he tries to play with so he's spent a lot of time perched on the sofa watching telly as otherwise they touch his hair, pull his hoody etc etc.. and he finds it all annoying..

On top of this.. he's really being challenging at the moment.. today on the way out of school he ran out of the playground and practically into the road.. its really difficult knowing if I should be abandoning the buggy and pegging it to him.. well this is what I did do in the end...

all this palava each day along with the constant.. 'put your shoes on please' x 10 type issues are soo exhausting.. its not even 6pm and I feel like going to bed...

I'm feeling a bit low at the mo.. and feel all I'm ever doing is working or cleaning.. or cooking or washing.. or cleaning..etc etc..

I'm a single mum with 2 kids and I'm feeling exhausted.. I do get support from the dad but its all feeling like such a slog at the mo...

what can you recommend I do with my 3 year old? I sometimes wonder if he's grown out of the toys I've got.. I've not had money to buy new toys in a long time and wonder if he is getting bored...or could it just be they are not burning off enough energy.. I'm not sure

Oh I so know where your coming from, I have a 3 year old daughter exactly the same and my husband works away all week. I recommend putting them to bed early and a very large glass of wine!!! Soon they will be teenagers and we can sooo get our own back mwahahahah!!!!! By the way I was also told by one of my parents, who is a teacher, the kids are always worse when the weather is bad or it's windy. MARVELOUS lol!!!

[Ripeberry]

Send him to the local pre-school? At least he'll be able to play with kids his own age, but still get time with you in the day.

[blue bear]

My 16 year old was just like your little man. Some of it is just a stage that you have to get through but some things we were advised to do and worked were:

Send him to preschool in the mornings and make sure babies sleep in afternoon, devote a whole hour per day to DS doing what ever he chooses (cake making, sand play, washing up) does not need to involve money it is more about having fun together and making him feel special. Have a high table/kitchen work top etc where he can play undisturbed by younger children for short periods. Dont stop going out in winter go for walks, park visits, puddle jumping etc little ones will be fine wrapped up on pram and DS will have lots of fun, burn off energy and get lots of time to chat with you.

We bought small toys from places like pound land and kept on a high cupboard, they were mummies and were given to DS to play with as a treat for good behaviour.

Most of all enjoy your little man they grow up so quick!

[glitzygal]

My own DD's wernt like it, but as they have got older they seem to be like this,,,,they are 18 and 15 but i still do things with them,,


i do say if i went out,i wouldnt see them in school/collage hols, and they would have to get their own stuff and do more jobs,,

also i try to treat them as then with the money i get they see the benefits, it seems to be working,,and i seem to be cleaning, cooking, but i do sit down in eve, but its worth it,, it does get easier,, honest.

got to have my forum FIX

[jane5]

probably of no help whatsoever but I believe eating your young solves many problems! no sure of the legalities though

They tend to get stuck in your throat though

[The Juggler]

i don't know hon but if anyone can tell me I'd be happy - mine are the worst of my bunch in the morning and after school and they are 8 and 11.