Dropping plans 2 suit parents >:s

[maryp0ppins]

Just a Wednesday moan from me.

Monday evening mum of after school mindee (7) informs me he is not coming on Wednesday as he has a play date round his friends.

I have 2 lo off with sickness & diarrhea so just me & 9month old so yesterday arranged to pick my girls up from upper school & go Xmas shopping with them (12 & 13) as I have not had much free time lately to spend with them.
(mum of 9month old was informed of what my plans were & was absolutely fine with lo coming as she could meet me there & take her from me 45 Min's earlier than normal as it is close to her work, so from 4.15 it would be just me & my girls)

Mindee's play date has cancelled & want me 2 pick him up so now I have to contact my girls school & tell them they have to walk home as our date has to be cancelled. I'm so fed up with my girls missing out on exciting things we've planned because parents are messing me around!!

One parent was 25 Min's late last night So my oldest was 15 Min's late for her hair appointment!!!

Sorry My Moan Is Now Over (ps I'm pmt)

[louised]

I think I would have said I had already made plans, some parents expect far too much, if she had told you she didn't need you then tough she should not have expected you to rearrange you plans

[Mouse]

That is very annoying. I've had that happen to me in the past - parents book holiday, then at the last minute changed their mind & because I was still being paid, I felt obliged to go along with their plans.

I made a new policy which says that if parents book time off, they can change their mind up to 2 weeks before then, but after that the time off will stand. I explain that if they tell me they are having time off I may use the time to make other plans which cannot always be changed. If they tell me less than 2 weeks before the time off, then that stands & can't be changed.

It's worked so far

[maryp0ppins]

That is very annoying. I've had that happen to me in the past - parents book holiday, then at the last minute changed their mind & because I was still being paid, I felt obliged to go along with their plans.

I made a new policy which says that if parents book time off, they can change their mind up to 2 weeks before then, but after that the time off will stand. I explain that if they tell me they are having time off I may use the time to make other plans which cannot always be changed. If they tell me less than 2 weeks before the time off, then that stands & can't be changed.

It's worked so far

This is a good idea....may steal your idea & write me up yet another policy if thats ok with you

[FussyElmo]

I dont suppose that mum is to blame if the playdate was cancelled.

If mum had booked the time off with me as holiday then I probably would have told her I had already made plans.

However seeing as its not really mums fault then I consider this to be unfortunate and out of anyones hands.

Doesnt help you when you have planned things for you and your girls.

[caz3007]

Whilst I agree it isnt the mums fault about the changes. But I would have said that as she booked it off, I had made other arrangements with my own children and the 9mth old's parents. And hope that she said ok, I will sort something and then given in if she didnt

[Louise0208]

i know how you feel....had the same thing last friday, i had booked cinema tickets to see harry potter with my kids, tickets were booked for 6.00 which gave me a good hour to get there after mindee goes home....even if mum was late (we was sposed to go home at 4pm)

pre-warned mum to be on time as it was my daughters birthday & we had arrangements, sure no probs she said.....but then she arranged to go on a girly night strait from work & asked her x-husband to pick son up......he turned up at 5.45

she didnt tell me this till i called at 4.20 to see where she was, i know myself he finishes work at 5.30 so wouldnt be here for 4pm.

needless to say i lost the ticket money & had 3 upset kids!......finally managed to go last night (great film!) but dropped mindee off at mums work as i didnt want a repeat performance!

[georgie456]

i know how you feel....had the same thing last friday, i had booked cinema tickets to see harry potter with my kids, tickets were booked for 6.00 which gave me a good hour to get there after mindee goes home....even if mum was late (we was sposed to go home at 4pm)

pre-warned mum to be on time as it was my daughters birthday & we had arrangements, sure no probs she said.....but then she arranged to go on a girly night strait from work & asked her x-husband to pick son up......he turned up at 5.45

she didnt tell me this till i called at 4.20 to see where she was, i know myself he finishes work at 5.30 so wouldnt be here for 4pm.

needless to say i lost the ticket money & had 3 upset kids!......finally managed to go last night (great film!) but dropped mindee off at mums work as i didnt want a repeat performance!

Now THAT would make me cross. How rude!!!!!

[wendywu]

[

QUOTE=Louise0208;831888]i know how you feel....had the same thing last friday, i had booked cinema tickets to see harry potter with my kids, tickets were booked for 6.00 which gave me a good hour to get there after mindee goes home....even if mum was late (we was sposed to go home at 4pm)

pre-warned mum to be on time as it was my daughters birthday & we had arrangements, sure no probs she said.....but then she arranged to go on a girly night strait from work & asked her x-husband to pick son up......he turned up at 5.45

she didnt tell me this till i called at 4.20 to see where she was, i know myself he finishes work at 5.30 so wouldnt be here for 4pm.

needless to say i lost the ticket money & had 3 upset kids!......finally managed to go last night (great film!) but dropped mindee off at mums work as i didnt want a repeat performance!

[/QUOTE]

Sorry but i would have billed her for the cinema tickets. No on second thoughtd i would have told her on the phone that it was NOT ok for the ex to collect him at a later time. She was to come and get him as arranged and exactly what she did with mindee from that point on was her own business.

There is no way i would have let that selfish woman ruin my daughters birthday.

[Penny1959]

That is very annoying. I've had that happen to me in the past - parents book holiday, then at the last minute changed their mind & because I was still being paid, I felt obliged to go along with their plans.

I made a new policy which says that if parents book time off, they can change their mind up to 2 weeks before then, but after that the time off will stand. I explain that if they tell me they are having time off I may use the time to make other plans which cannot always be changed. If they tell me less than 2 weeks before the time off, then that stands & can't be changed.

It's worked so far

Like this idea - think I will do something similar - and with changes to contract hours (one set of parents thinks it ok to keep changing contract so only pays min amount but expects me to be available for changes to hours and not to have arraged to do anything whrn parents don't require service.

Penny

[Rain or Shine]

OMG!!!!

That is horrendous. Some parents really don't care that you have your own life and feel that can use and abuse you. Ridiculous!

i know how you feel....had the same thing last friday, i had booked cinema tickets to see harry potter with my kids, tickets were booked for 6.00 which gave me a good hour to get there after mindee goes home....even if mum was late (we was sposed to go home at 4pm)

pre-warned mum to be on time as it was my daughters birthday & we had arrangements, sure no probs she said.....but then she arranged to go on a girly night strait from work & asked her x-husband to pick son up......he turned up at 5.45

she didnt tell me this till i called at 4.20 to see where she was, i know myself he finishes work at 5.30 so wouldnt be here for 4pm.

needless to say i lost the ticket money & had 3 upset kids!......finally managed to go last night (great film!) but dropped mindee off at mums work as i didnt want a repeat performance!

[FussyElmo]

[

Sorry but i would have billed her for the cinema tickets. No on second thoughtd i would have told her on the phone that it was NOT ok for the ex to collect him at a later time. She was to come and get him as arranged and exactly what she did with mindee from that point on was her own business.

There is no way i would have let that selfish woman ruin my daughters birthday.[/QUOTE]

I agree there is one thing for a playdate to be cancelled but to do this is way past being reasonable.

[suzyblue]

That is very annoying. I've had that happen to me in the past - parents book holiday, then at the last minute changed their mind & because I was still being paid, I felt obliged to go along with their plans.

I made a new policy which says that if parents book time off, they can change their mind up to 2 weeks before then, but after that the time off will stand. I explain that if they tell me they are having time off I may use the time to make other plans which cannot always be changed. If they tell me less than 2 weeks before the time off, then that stands & can't be changed.

It's worked so far

Mouse, dont you find that parents tell you at the last minute rather than risk not having childcare if plans change? I know my parents just wouldnt give me any notice at all.

[Mouse]

Mouse, dont you find that parents tell you at the last minute rather than risk not having childcare if plans change? I know my parents just wouldnt give me any notice at all.

I don't mind if they tell me they're taking time off at the last minute, as long as they take it! What I don't like is them saying they will take time off, me making plans, then them saying they've changed their mind & will be bringing lo as usual.
I had one parent book a week off once. It meant I had 3 days completely free that week, so I booked an optician's appointment, doctor's appointment etc, which I didn't normally get chance to do when I had the mindees. Mum then turned round the week before & said that they weren't actually going away and she would still bring mindee as she wanted to get her cleaning done! I felt I had to have her as I was still being paid. I decided after that that if they booked time off they had to take it.

[suzyblue]

I don't mind if they tell me they're taking time off at the last minute, as long as they take it! What I don't like is them saying they will take time off, me making plans, then them saying they've changed their mind & will be bringing lo as usual.
I had one parent book a week off once. It meant I had 3 days completely free that week, so I booked an optician's appointment, doctor's appointment etc, which I didn't normally get chance to do when I had the mindees. Mum then turned round the week before & said that they weren't actually going away and she would still bring mindee as she wanted to get her cleaning done! I felt I had to have her as I was still being paid. I decided after that that if they booked time off they had to take it.

I know what you mean - its nice when you have some unexpected easy days - but my parents dont tell me at all or if they do it will be "I might not bring X tomorrow" then I have to wait in and see if they turn up! Cant make any plans either Drives me mad!!!

[Louise0208]

grrrrrr iv just had it again!

rushing home from town to pick LO up from nursery, just got home & mobile went, LO is ill so didnt go school (bearing in mind i was to pick her up in 10 mins) i asked why she didnt call this morning.....she forgot!

she then goes on to say she needs me next week after all (she booked 2 weeks off over xmas) as she thought they finished school next friday (christmas eve )

what more can i do? my parents are so dizzy & disorganised i asked them all weeks ago to fill out a form i made declaring what days they need me as i have to make plans of my own, it included my daily hours, fees, school times & closures etc!.....sometimes i feel like i have to treat them like the children

[maryp0ppins]

grrrrrr iv just had it again!

rushing home from town to pick LO up from nursery, just got home & mobile went, LO is ill so didnt go school (bearing in mind i was to pick her up in 10 mins) i asked why she didnt call this morning.....she forgot!

she then goes on to say she needs me next week after all (she booked 2 weeks off over xmas) as she thought they finished school next friday (christmas eve )

what more can i do? my parents are so dizzy & disorganised i asked them all weeks ago to fill out a form i made declaring what days they need me as i have to make plans of my own, it included my daily hours, fees, school times & closures etc!.....sometimes i feel like i have to treat them like the children

I would never ask what the parents needed over the Xmas period...I defo know 2 families that would sent their children Xmas day & new years day (&i'm not joking) if i'd let them....Nope I send news letters telling them when I finish & when I re-open.....

[mufftie]

its really annoying , in theory , i would have said to the parent ive made plans now so im not available , but in practise i would probably just broken my back to cator for the parent .
i often feel put on , ive got a family of 3 who ive had for 4 years now and this week her 13 yr old son has been dumped on me as he's ill and tbh he's not the nicest of lads we have a love / hate relationship . my own son was ill yesterday (14 )but i made him go to school as i couldnt face having them both at home . i felt awful so i said to the mother that under no circumstances was i having her son today as i wasnt even asked before . it just makes me mad that some parents make you feel quite 'used' and unappreciated i wouldnt mind but i dont even charge for her son as she pays full wack for her 2 daughters , i must be a mug

[maryp0ppins]

its really annoying , in theory , i would have said to the parent ive made plans now so im not available , but in practise i would probably just broken my back to cator for the parent .
i often feel put on , ive got a family of 3 who ive had for 4 years now and this week her 13 yr old son has been dumped on me as he's ill and tbh he's not the nicest of lads we have a love / hate relationship . my own son was ill yesterday (14 )but i made him go to school as i couldnt face having them both at home . i felt awful so i said to the mother that under no circumstances was i having her son today as i wasnt even asked before . it just makes me mad that some parents make you feel quite 'used' and unappreciated i wouldnt mind but i dont even charge for her son as she pays full wack for her 2 daughters , i must be a mug

we all have mug written on our heads from time 2 time....

I dropped my plans & had Mindee.....mum did apologize at pick-up (which I know wasn't fully her fault mindee's play date was cancelled but it's still a lot of messing around) Then asked what wine HUBBY (who works in the car industry & drove her car into work to save her travels) drank as he serviced her car a few weeks ago & she wanted to say thanks to him for going out his way ..........MUG

[Louise0208]

I would never ask what the parents needed over the Xmas period...I defo know 2 families that would sent their children Xmas day & new years day (&i'm not joking) if i'd let them....Nope I send news letters telling them when I finish & when I re-open.....

i am open through out....apart from the obvious, i have 2 or 3 holidays a year so use up my time off during the year