help mindee wont eat

[mumof3]

hi i had 3 yr old start in sept, having a battle every meal time to get her to eat, she arrives with bottle of milk which in my opinion she shouldnt be having at her age. mum says she feeds her which i have said im not going to do because she needs to do it herself, breakfast is taking over an hour at dinnertime shes refusing to eat then trying to get my daughter to refuse her dinner too. im thinking il just give mindee dinner then the rest of us will eat as a family after shes gone at 6. what do you think? thanks

[curlycathy]

Have I got this right - mum expects you to feed a 3 year old

Could you try giving her a half hour limit or something? Although I suppose if mum's been feeding her then she needs to learn to feed herself which could take longer...

Hm, not sure. Hopefully some wise person will be along in a minute..xx

[The Juggler]

I'd go down the educating parents route. the milk and the feeding are probably the route cause.

there was a really good link on here a few weeks ago. Go to the littlepeoplesplates website hon. there is a 'ten steps to healthy eating for toddlers' on it. it give portion sizes and talks about no milk in bottles.

If her not eating is impacting on your little one I'd suggest to mum it's better for her to eat at home as she's not eating enough at yours.x

[gegele]

i'm probably going to get slay LOL but i would

1-check if she knows how to feed her : give her a fromage frais and a spoon or a chocolate mousse, if she can eat this then there's nothing wrong with her physical abilities.

2-explain to her that in your house everyone eats like bifg girls at the table and properly.

3- serve her diner and explain that it's HER CHOICE to eat or not but if she doesn't she'll have to go without.

mum needs to be working with you on that one as if she gives her something to eat when she picks up then there's no point.

if mum doesn't agree stop offering diner as it's just wasted food.

i don't have fight we food, in my house, you eat you eat you don't you don't but you don't get anything in between. easy.

good luck

[curlycathy]

Ah - I told you someone wise would be along.

It is true - children won't starve themselves, so maybe it would be a good idea to guage how good she is at feeding herself then set a time limit.

Agree with gegele - at mine as long as I know its something they like, they have their food in front of them then when everyone's finished its removed but they don't get anything else. If its something new they have to at least try and then maybe get some bread and butter to keep them going (not going to faff around cooking again )

And have a chat with mum or drop some leaflets in the bag about healthy eating.

Good luck!

[Penny1959]

I have also recently started an almost 3 year old - I was told child will not even sit at table and on rare occassions that she would - each item needs to be in a small bowl - I was also told she would only eat pasta (no sauce) plain rice, fruit and veg.

She has bottle of milk at home - but if brings it to me - I just empty milk into a cup for her to drink.

I started by sitting her on a chair and explaining that in my setting everyone sits at table even if do not want to eat - and she cried but sat there. Next I gave her things she liked BUT on one plate. By end first week she was skipping to table and eating the things she likes from one plate.

I have gradually introduced new foods - the way it worked for this child was I told her she needed to taste food to see if nice or 'yukky' and if 'yukky' she could put it in bin - and the first few times she did say 'yukky' and put in bin - but now 1 month into looking after her - she tries everything and usually announces that nice and eats a reasonable amount.

Mum is still having issues at home - even though I have told her everything about her child's eating here and even given photo's of child eating - but in my opinion the issue is with the mum NOT the child.

Be consistant - stick to your house rules about meal times and you will get there in the end.

Good Luck

[mushpea]

i have a 3yrs10mtn old like this,, one week he will eat fine the next he refuses everything, yesterday he asked for cheese and cucumber sandwichs which he has ate before no probs but refused to eat them so got nothing else all day,, I refuse to throw good food away then offer somthing else, cant see the point of this. the day before he asked for a bannan for snack, put teeth marks in it then refused to eat it so at lunch he got the banan on his plate when everyone else had sandwichs,, told him when he ate his banana he could have what everyone else had,, he ate it fine.
I never force this child to eat anything cause he can make himself sick when he feels like it for attention but I do keep what ever he asked for and try him again when he says hes hungry then its up to him if he eats it or not.

[Starfish007]

I am having this same problem too. Mindee is 2 1/2 yrs, she still has 3 bottles of milk day, sometimes more, but hardly eats anything at mealtimes.

I have started a food diary to show parents exactly what she eats while at mine, some days she eats nothing! She is like this at home also, parents dont seem concerned, they say if she wont eat her food give her a yogurt or milk, then joke that she loves her calcium. Feel like im the only one who is worried she is not getting all her food groups.

If it was me I would take all bottles away and replace with a cup and if she doesnt eat her meal she gets nothing else. But how can you pass this onto the parents? Tried little hints but unsuccessful.

Also Mum walks around the house while the child is playing trying to feed her!

Her behaviour has also changed in the last few months, she is quite aggressive and gets very frustrated by the slightest thing.

Any advice would be appreciated.
Linda Loo x