Problem child

[Ben10mad]

Hiya guys just come on to see if any one can offer any advice.
Mindee has been with me for 3 months, He is 3 yaers old, he is ok with his behaviour untill collection time this is were im having the problems, he seems to punch me and other children, throw toys and today neally knocked my plasma tele off its stand this is all when his mom enters the house, not before. He does it every time his mom comes, i have moved toys out the way before he goes to prevent them from breaking, but today my heart went in my throut when he shuck the tele.
He does things in the day to annoy other children but i can deal with that.
Hes like a different kid when his mom comes.
I think it might be to get a reaction, he got a big reaction today i felt my self shout but the tv cost me alot of money, i can honestly say mom has no control over him what so ever she asked him to say sorry, he wouldnt just laughed at her then went, he then ran off from her.
Any ideas xxx

[Goatgirl]

HI ,
This is a very common experience: something to do with not knowing who's in charge and getting maximum attention I think. The child himself is probably unable to control his behaviour at this point...
How about they get to choose a sticker on the way out of the door (or actually outside the door?!) if they get ready quickly and quietly? At one stage I had a star chart at the door and a certain number of stars, say a whole weeks worth, earned them a pack of stickers to put in their own sticker book.
'course, this might not be 'immediate' enough for a 3 year old. There's nothing wrong with having him ready to leave when parents arrive, or asking them to wait outside until LO is ready. I don't answer the door sometimes if mine have random 'going crazy' attacks until they calm down and are ready to leave. Jut explain to everyone this is what you will do. And stick to it.

Good luck

bws, Wendy

[Twinkles]

I agree with Wendy. Explain to mum you are trying to help mindee manage his behaviour. Get her to text you when she's outside, get mindee ready and then hand him out to her.

Very common for even the loveliest of children to play up at home time.

[suzyblue]

I would get him ready and hand him to mum at the door. I had one like this and the mum would come in - plonk herself on the sofa and not go until her child had hurt mine. It happened every blooming evening! I hand them all over at the door now and have even got a camera bell (£30 on ebay)so I can see who is at the door and take the child with me.

[sarah707]

I take children to the door so I am in control of the whole thing.

I have one mother who chats and the child runs back in sometimes but I just scoop him up and put him back with mum.

I find it very hard when they want to talk because I have a house to clear after tea and other children to care for.

I think the trick is to try and keep it as brief as possible

[mushpea]

I would get the child ready for pick up time and also I would still disapline the child weather mum was there or not,, its your house and your rules and shse trusts you to sort him out all day so why should you act different and not repremand him when shes there especialy if she cant deal with him.

[Ben10mad]

I get him ready ALWAYS take him to the door, but soon as that door is open he run back in to the living room i speak to for no less then probley two mins shes one of these parents whos in and out which is great but this still give him time to run back and forth and break things. he has a liitle sister aswell so i mean i have to pass info on little one as well, its just very stressfull

[Ripeberry]

I agree with Wendy. Explain to mum you are trying to help mindee manage his behaviour. Get her to text you when she's outside, get mindee ready and then hand him out to her.

Very common for even the loveliest of children to play up at home time.

One of my mindees gets like that. Screams and shouts when mum or dad come to get her. Usualy worse for mum

[Ripeberry]

I get him ready ALWAYS take him to the door, but soon as that door is open he run back in to the living room i speak to for no less then probley two mins shes one of these parents whos in and out which is great but this still give him time to run back and forth and break things. he has a liitle sister aswell so i mean i have to pass info on little one as well, its just very stressfull

Is there no way of 'containing' him so he can't run back in. Maybe lock the door to the room somehow or have a gate?
I have one other mindee who likes to run off down the path as I'm trying to talk to the parents so we have 'slowed' him down by getting him to help mum or dad carry his bag and he HAS to hold one end of it

[tashaleee]

Is there not a way you can block off the living room (stairgate it maybe?) Ive had several kids like this over the years - have one at the moment who is hell on pick up time - they have found I will discipline them and what I say goes and dad who usually picks up always backs me up (or vice versa) so slowly I guess we will get there....

Unfortunately kids always try it on at the end of the day - if the parent wont say no and stop them then you have to

[Ben10mad]

i totally forgot about the stair gate i have upstairs will try that will keep you all updated
thank you xxx

[blue bear]

I have a signing in and out sheet near the door which gives them something to do while I update parent (minute or so)

I have laminated a sheet of paper with a house drawn on it, velcro stickers in each window, children stick on photos of themselves with velcro on the back when they arrive and take off when leaving. Gives child a focus and stops them running back in.

[kayleighmeakin]

Hello, I am not sure weather this will be any help but why don't try a magnetic behavior chart, put all the children on it and when they behave put a magnet by their name and when their naughty take one away. when they get so many e.g. 10 give them a little treat

hope this helps sorry if it doesn't x