Unreasonable to ask parent to switch nappies?

**catswhiskers** · 31-08-2010, 08:55 PM

I have a 22 month old I look after for 4 days. Parents use cloth nappies. I bag up the nappies and give them to parent to take home every day. I also look after his sister (nearly 4) who also used cloth nappies since I had her at 6 months. At the time I also looked after another 6 month old who had cloth nappies so it was double!

You can probably tell I might be used to them but just before I took 2 weeks holiday (started back today) I was all ready to tell parent I couldn't do them anymore but couldn't bring myself to.

Toddler is back today and I just feel the nappies are time consuming, especially when he does a number 2! I usually have to change clothes cos poo leaks everywhere and then when I change the nappy I have to take out the lining with poo on and try to clean up the rest. I just feel that it's now getting unhygienic and messy and with two other mindees just not practical for me.

Mum is very set on these nappies but do you think it would be unreasonable for me to ask her to change to disposables?

bexcee · 31-08-2010, 09:00 PM

She might consider changing to disposable when lo is with you but it depends on her reasons for using cloth nappies.

I used cloth nappies on both my sons so know it is a bit more work but it saves a lot of money not to mention all the nappies going into landfill sites.

Maybe tell the mum your concerns and ask how she deals with the messy nappies at home. I used to flush the 'solids' down the toilet and then put everything else in a nappy bag (cloth one so washable) in a nappy bucket.

If she uses cloth to save money and has already spent a lot buying cloth nappipes, wraps, liners etc then she might be unwilling to pay out for disposables now.

Talk to her and see what she has to say.

**jadylasa** · 31-08-2010, 09:12 PM

As already been said it depends on her reasons.

If it's an environmental one then it's like a belief in a dietry requirement. you wouldn't ask a jewish parent if you could give their child non kosha food because it was a hassle to store and prepare. you would have to respect mums wishes on that front.
If it's financial, then bexcee is right she will have already forked out for the cloth ones. But if it's worth it to you, to make things simpler you could ask mum if she minds if YOU supply the nappies. (obiously depending on how many you would change in a day, you don't want to be working for nothing!!)

aly · 31-08-2010, 09:17 PM

Maybe you could buy them and keep them at yours...depends on mums take on it if she is using them for money and/or just preferring them on baby's body then I wouldnt think she would be pleased to change, but maybe you can offer to use disposable at yours??...I wouldnt charge her though as it is your choice etc.

**Blackhorse** · 31-08-2010, 09:24 PM

I used disposable ones for a while with my dd.
money was one reason, environment the other, and a big reason was the thought of a plastic nappy filled with chemicals on her bum that did not appeal to me. She also took an allergic reaction to something when she had a disposable on and I was convinced for a while it was the nappy....

I would discuss it with mum and see what she says.
I dont think you can ask her to switch as this is her decision as parent in my opinion

**Ripeberry** · 31-08-2010, 09:39 PM

My mindee's mum uses cloth, but you can tell when she is tired or can't be bothered as she sometimes uses disposables, so I'm not sure why she uses them

**catswhiskers** · 31-08-2010, 10:08 PM

Thanks for quick replies - a lot to think about!

I'm not convinced the nappy liner can be flushed down the toilet with the poo as to me it's the same consistency as a baby wipe and I wouldn't put them down my loo. So really I may as well be using a disposable because I still have to bag up the waste and put in my bin and then bag up the cloth nappy separately.

This toddler does a lot of poos (sometimes 4 a day) so I'm forever changing clothes and just feel a disposable would be better and less time consuming.

Mum does this for the environment but the amount of hot washing she must have to do can't be good for that.

I will talk to mum tomorrow and see what she says.

Let you know what happens!

**Cazz** · 31-08-2010, 10:30 PM

Good luck - hope she doesn't take offence!

I agree with you that the hot washes counteract the non-use of disposables and I think 4 soiled nappies a day to deal with is a lot to ask of you when you also have other children to care for.

I would also offer to provide the nappies if she agrees to you using disposables.

**Hebs** · 01-09-2010, 05:58 AM

Liners can be flushed down the loo

as a parent who used cloth nappies i would NOT be impressed if a childminder wanted me to use disposables.
1 disposable takes over 500 years to fully decompose, yuck yuck yuck, and cloth nappies are no more messier than disposables anyway............. mum takes them home to wash.

so personally YES i do think it's unreasonable x

**em29** · 01-09-2010, 06:19 AM

Is there any chance that the re usuables she has just aren't very good and that another re-usuable might work better?

I do understand if they are leaking poo all the time - not hygienic and very time consuming. Just ask if mum is having the same problems at home because surely the lo's clothes are getting ruined? Maybe the mum will open up a bit more to chat about her choices and you can judge if she would be willing to change brand or to disposables in your house. Good luck and let us know how you get on !!

onceinabluemoon · 01-09-2010, 06:30 AM

Reading this with interest.

Bizarrely, yesterday I asked mum if it was ok if I used cloth nappies on her child because of the amount of nappies going to landfil and how long they take to degrade. She said yes. I'd love to now which nappies your mindee uses as it sounds like they're a brand to avoid and as I have to buy them I'd rather get decent ones that will last and work.

**Hebs** · 01-09-2010, 06:38 AM

i'm rather sad in that i love nothing more than seeing a washing line full of clean nappies

**curlycathy** · 01-09-2010, 07:03 AM

Me too Hebs - I'm so sad I took a photo of my dds nappies on the line and I used to love hanging them out first thing!!

I used Little Lambs bamboo nappies and never had any probs with leakage or nappy rash. They are shaped nappies so really simple to use (although the nursery did manage to put one on her inside out!!!)

OP - maybe you could try using those "green" disposables? Good luck!!xx

**venus89** · 01-09-2010, 07:18 AM

I had a little one who came in cloth nappies (sometimes - in reality Mum often reverted to disposables whilst LO was here, I think it was easier whilst she was working.....) and never had a problem with them so I think the others are right and it's just the nappy she's using. Talk to Mum and find out if she has the same problem, or if she has a handy hint that can stop it happening......

**Ripeberry** · 01-09-2010, 07:44 AM

Originally Posted by Hebs

Liners can be flushed down the loo

as a parent who used cloth nappies i would NOT be impressed if a childminder wanted me to use disposables.
1 disposable takes over 500 years to fully decompose, yuck yuck yuck, and cloth nappies are no more messier than disposables anyway............. mum takes them home to wash.

so personally YES i do think it's unreasonable x

Lots of CMs in my area actually refuse to have a child in cloth nappies

But then they are full and can be choosy.

**singingcactus** · 01-09-2010, 07:59 AM

Originally Posted by Hebs

Liners can be flushed down the loo

as a parent who used cloth nappies i would NOT be impressed if a childminder wanted me to use disposables.
1 disposable takes over 500 years to fully decompose, yuck yuck yuck, and cloth nappies are no more messier than disposables anyway............. mum takes them home to wash.

so personally YES i do think it's unreasonable x

I have to agree with Hebs. With today's detergent nappies don't necessarily need a boil wash either. And running a hot wash every other day does not compare to leaving piles of festering plastic nappies in a landfill.
Even if you put this child in disposable nappies you would still have to change the pooey nappies - the type of nappy will not cut down the number of times he poos each day. There is no guarantee either that disposable nappies would contain his poo any better and it would still take the same amount of time to change him. I can't see what difference it would make changing him to disposables.
The only thing it would do is add to the massive mountains of dirty disposable nappies in landfill, which his mother has chosen not to do.

**pinky33** · 01-09-2010, 08:12 AM

Don't shoot me but... as ha been said on many posts before regarding many other issues, it's your business so if you don't want to use them then don't. it probably would have been better if you had said that from the start but if you have had enough then that's up to you.

I can understand where your coming from, and switching to disposables doesn't have to mean pampars or huggies there are many other bio digradable nappies on the Market, more expensive and tricky to track down but they are out there. Chat with mum see what she thinks, we tried to introduce cloth nappies here but it just didn't work for us even though I have used them for many years as a nanny.

**Hebs** · 01-09-2010, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by hazelandannie

Don't shoot me but... as ha been said on many posts before regarding many other issues, it's your business so if you don't want to use them then don't..
.

it is a parents choice, just as i have a parent who says child is only allowed water to drink, other have juice but this one child is only allowed water and he feels left out

you still need to change the nappy and i find disposables leak more than a properly fitted cloth nappy..... are you sure the plastic cover fits right??

bexcee · 01-09-2010, 09:33 AM

I used to use bumgenuis, little lambs and tot bots on my children and very rarely had a leak. Disposables leak too don't forget.

I would love to have a baby in cloth nappies again, use to love my little cloth bummed babies and hanging a row of clean nappies on the line made me happy

The liners should say flushable on the package and be fine down the loo. Unless they are fleece or bamboo liners then they need to be washed.

How did the chat with mum go?

**snufflepuff** · 01-09-2010, 09:58 AM

I used bumgenius on my son and the only thing that bothered me was transferring the nappies from the bucket to the washing machine- i had enough nappies to last 2 days before a wash was needed so they started to get that acidic smell from the wee. Changing them was never an issue but then he never had explosive poos so i can see why it bothers you, especially with other children around....but theres nothing to say that the same wont happen with disposables. Worth a try perhaps.
I think if my son was with a childminder and she wanted to use disposables that would be fine but i'd expect her to buy them.
This thread has inspired me to get the nappies back out- i was naughty and gave up on them when my son had a nasty tummy bug a while back....didnt want them getting too stained