holiday mindee finding everything pants

**newandlearning** · 28-07-2010, 08:30 PM

hi everyone...

so far I've offered various park outings to my holiday mindee .. initially she says 'yeah I really want to go there great!' .. then she plays seemingly happily with the other mindees and then upon leaving when I ask if she had a good time she says 'no.. it was too easy that climbing equipment..' or 'it wasn't very good, it wasn't as it seemed from the road'...

now today my friend and I took 8 children to the park where they had a track marked out.. we took a tennis net, rackets and balls, egg and spoon, sack race sacks, tags, cones, balls, a parachut, rackets and bean bags... and everyone seemed to be happy .. and indeed they started wanting to play their own races so we let them....

at the end of the day I told the mum we'd gone to an art exhibition where we got the chance to make our own textile art (this was lovely) and then went to the park .. had a picnic and then did a mini sports day which everyone enjoyed.. WHEN.. the mindee said 'well actually mum I didn't think it was that good.. THERE WASN'T ENOUGH GAMES'..!!

I'm beginning to feel a bit miffed with her being soo unappreciative .. she is 8 years old.. is this an age thing.. last week I offered to take her to a soft play park (but she wanted to go to the more expensive one) .. and then veg and fruit picking .. but that was too boring...

what would you do with a mindee like this?.. last summer I don't remember her widging soo much.. but I took them to a lot more farms but then I equally didn't make soo much money.. this year with all our local parks now being refurbed with lovely equipment I don't feel there is such a need to do farm after farm and pay loads etc....

sorry sounds a bit rant like.. but what would you do .. ? Help would be lovely x

**Stillgoingstrong** · 28-07-2010, 08:34 PM

I would just do what I had decided we should do and if she moaned I would ignore her. You are offering loads for her to do, just sounds like a little madam to me. When mum comes I would say xxxxx had a lovely day we did blah blah blah but she will no doubt grizzle about it yet had a brilliant time

**Daftbat** · 28-07-2010, 08:35 PM

To be honest I wouldn't do anything about her - she sounds like a spoilt brat to me and is playing for attention. If she as any comments i would just point out to mum how much fun she seemed to be having at the time and just say that everyone else enjoyed it so you must be doing something right!

**wendywu** · 28-07-2010, 08:38 PM

I would smile sweetly an say ....well you dont have to come, im not forcing you.

Spoilt little madame

**helendee** · 28-07-2010, 08:38 PM

I think that you are doing more than enough hun, dare I say that she sounds a bit of a madam to me. You are giving her loads of attention and providing her with tons of activites and can't do anymore than you are. Maybe she actually needs to learn to entertain herself rather than being busy all the time. Does she enjoy quiet things like painting, reading, jigsaw puzzles, etc?

Next time she says that she is bored I would be tempted to give her a choice of two or three things to do and tell her to get on with it.

**sarah707** · 28-07-2010, 09:15 PM

Might she be resenting being with a childminder / with younger children?

By 8 a lot of children are feeling quite grown up but still have to be looked after iykwim.

Sounds like she's playing up for mum... I wonder what the payoff will be?!!

**blue bear** · 28-07-2010, 09:16 PM

my middle boy used to do things like that, we soon realised he just tried it on to see if there was anything better on offer next time.
Ignore her moans, if anything make a joke out of them to show her they are not having the effect she wants. Definetly do not respond by dreaming up better things to do, she's just trying it on.

**SYLVIA** · 28-07-2010, 09:25 PM

I'd let her get on with it! If other mindees are happy then you must be doing it right. I've got a 12 year with me every day for 6 weeks. He joins in all activities and if the park is too small for him he helps with the others or sits out, but he doesn't say things like your mindee

**Hebs** · 28-07-2010, 09:36 PM

My advice.,...

Take plenty of photos of her having fun as evidence for mum!

Pipsqueak · 28-07-2010, 09:49 PM

Go somewhere and just smile sweetly and say, oh I am sure you won't want to do this as its too easy/not enough etc etc (one of her refrains) and say you can sit with me and keep an eye on the others enjoying themselves.
Bet that would jolt her a little

Next thing is - can I come a play please......

**The Juggler** · 28-07-2010, 11:10 PM

i'd sit her down for a chat. ask her if she enjoyed xxxx. if she says yes, ask her why she tells mum later she did not enjoy it.

Maybe she doesn't want mum to think she's having too much fun without her? or more probably she's being a pickle and trying to stir with mum a bit, but call her bluff and ask her outrigth why she seems to be having fun but then tells mum she's not.

I would

**angeldelight** · 29-07-2010, 12:15 AM

I would not worry

Sounds like you are doing everything right to me

Hope the weeks get better when she sees that you are going to do what you are going to do

Angel xx

**singlewiththree** · 29-07-2010, 06:38 AM

Originally Posted by Hebs

My advice.,...

Take plenty of photos of her having fun as evidence for mum!

Well said, that is what I was going to say, a picture can tell a thousand words and when mum sees her smiling and laughing she won't be so quick to judge. I would say she is trying to make mum feel guilty

**Dare4Distance** · 29-07-2010, 07:26 AM

My 7 year old mindee is like this and he's only been here 2 days

He says he's bored all the time but I think it's just so he can go on the Wii, which I wont let him. When he's not saying he's bored he's asking to go on the computer

When we're doing an activity he enjoys it, it's just before and after that he starts.

**mushpea** · 29-07-2010, 07:27 AM

sounds like you are providing more than enough, if she is your only mindee then I would be tempeted to tell her that we today we arent going out anywhere as there is no point when you dont enjoy it,, a day of boredm should make her appriciate the days out.
if she is not your ony mindee then tell her that she is not the only child there and that the others want to and are having fun so why isnt she.
you could also take lots of pictures of when she is playing and having fun making sure she dosent see you take them and then show them to her when she sas she didnt enjoy it confronting her about it and also you can show mum the pics so mum knows that she telling porkys and is havin fun really

**rickysmiths** · 29-07-2010, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by singlewiththree

Well said, that is what I was going to say, a picture can tell a thousand words and when mum sees her smiling and laughing she won't be so quick to judge. I would say she is trying to make mum feel guilty

I was giong to agree with Hebs as well. Perhaps take it a step further and give her some photos and get her making a holiday diary. Give mum a disc with all the photos on as well.

**miffy** · 29-07-2010, 07:29 AM

Photos of her having fun is the way to go I think.

Sounds like she's trying to wind her mum up more than you. Either that or she's a very spoilt, ungrateful brat!

Miffy xx

**HELEN10** · 29-07-2010, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by Daftbat

To be honest I wouldn't do anything about her - she sounds like a spoilt brat to me and is playing for attention. If she as any comments i would just point out to mum how much fun she seemed to be having at the time and just say that everyone else enjoyed it so you must be doing something right!

My thoughts exactly, don't think anything you do would please this child! Would just ignore her and wouldn't let her spoil the other children's enjoyment.

**snufflepuff** · 29-07-2010, 09:47 AM

Theres just no pleasing some children! I have had moaning from a 5 year old-'im bored, im tired, im hungry, im thirsty, i want to go home, i hate the park, i hate walking, i hate sandwiches' etc etc. On the way back from the park (where he had lots of fun and said so himself!) he asked how far it was to my house. I told him it was just round the corner and he said 'i hate corners'
Now what can i sai to that?!

I think taking photos is the best idea x

**newandlearning** · 29-07-2010, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by snufflepuff

...On the way back from the park (where he had lots of fun and said so himself!) he asked how far it was to my house. I told him it was just round the corner and he said 'i hate corners'
Now what can i sai to that?!

... x

Thanks everyone.. you are all great.. today we went through my long list of things we can do to ensure that everyone (inc. mindee) was happy with my summer plan of events and 90% seemed to receive thumbs up...

I think I will do the photos scrapbook as well.. I did this last summer and on one occasion we can do a trip to Tescos to get them developed.. today was a better day .. so here's hoping the worm has turned..