would a persons religion ...

**EllaBella** · 22-07-2010, 01:28 PM

would a prospective childminders religion put you off of choosing them?

I ask as I was ust chatting to another JW on here and mentioned that i had lost a few prospective mindees because of my religion...

unless i told you , i was a jehovahs witness you would never ever know, my house is like any other, although no crosses or religious bits and bobs, the only things are 2 watchtower magazines on table.

now i am not ashamed of my beliefs, BUT when prospective parents come to visit i never hide it, not do i "bible bash" them lol

as far as im concerned they are here to see me as a childminder not for my religion, sadly when chatting in general about birthdays, i mentioned that i do not celebrate, one dad said, oh g** you not one of them freaky jw are you, to which i replied yes without the freaky bit lol. he couldnt leave quick enough,

anogther 2 parents said they would have picked me but dont want their kids brainwashed

and the last one said, they didnt want their child to miss out on christmas birthdays,

my daughter is a teenager and she is not a jw (her choice is to be church of england), and she doesnt miss out on ANY celebration lol ,
now i wouldnt ignore christmas or birthdays, just like i wouldnt ignore eid or any other celebration, when doing topics ect ect with the mindees.

i never ever try and bible talk the children, if they ask , i answer, but i explain there are lots of different beliefs, ect ect.

im not going to start hiding my religion, but please be honest does a persons religion (especially if it is odd to you) or one you really dont understand, put you off of using that person??

**EllaBella** · 22-07-2010, 01:33 PM

i have to add that last month i met a lady at mother and toddlers, and she was head to toe in black covering thingy, and my first reaction was oh my word , you scare me, I would have been put off by that, just because her clothing scared me a bit,(wrong of me, i know)

i couldnt see who i was chatting with , she was a lovely person to chat to , but on looking at her , in my head i thought uh oh

i would have thought twice about using her as a cm, now i have chatted to her id be fine, but its first judgements isnt it, and sadly some people dont give others chance to shine, as they say lol.

**singingcactus** · 22-07-2010, 01:34 PM

No it wouldn't put me off.

**Tink** · 22-07-2010, 01:36 PM

I would be fine with it so long as you were not preaching it to my child

**sweets** · 22-07-2010, 01:42 PM

ok i am going to be really honest here so dont shoot me down

yes it would put me off slightly, i wouldnt want my child in a house that didnt openly celebrate christmas and birthdays, i am not religious at all, far from it but i do celebrate christmas etc. i know that as a childminder you would respect these celebrations as we all respect other religous times for children e.g divali.

it wouldnt be anying against you personally and i would never ask a childminder there religion but if i knew it, then they wouldnt be my first choice. sorry

**EllaBella** · 22-07-2010, 01:44 PM

but thats very honest, so no need to apologise, I am greatfull of all input

**sweets** · 22-07-2010, 01:46 PM

just want to add tho that i would feel the same if i went into a house that had crosses all over the walls, im not against JW! lol

Pipsqueak · 22-07-2010, 01:46 PM

No, it would not put me off either

The only thing, if I am being honest, I would ask about (for my child) is how you would go about celebrating and exploring other religions and festivals (including Christmas and birthday for instance).
We have had some really interesting discussions regarding religion and how we celebrate diversity on the forum.

I think that because JW's evangelise door to door people get intimidated by it and think that they are going to be forced into something. I think as well there are some things about the JW religion that people really disagree with and ergo 'reject' those who choose to follow that religion. I get on very well with a lady who comes round and she knows that there are things about the JW religion i throughly disagree with but I know her and her lovely family as people not just the religion.

**AnnieM** · 22-07-2010, 01:52 PM

I agree with sweets sorry,

I would never ask about religion, but if I knew it wouold put me off a bit, I would want my childs milestones like birthdays and Christmas celebrating to the fullest, after all they grow up so very fast (mine is 21 now and it seems only yesterday he was a baby.

). When my DS was 2 years old my MIL started going to the JW meetings and then got more and more into it until she stopped celebrating Christmas and birthdays, she had always hated Christmas, as her mum died on Christmas Day but she went totally OTT and tried ramming it down everyones (family) throats. I know you would not do this as a childminder, but it put me off. I then met a lovely lady who moved near to us and she told me she was a JW but they still celebrated Christmas, birthdays etc., she had grown up with it and was determined not to push it onto her own kids, as it had been to her and her sister, so I can see both sides.

**Polly2** · 22-07-2010, 01:56 PM

Wouldn't xmas and birthdays be family times primarily anyway?

**Hebs** · 22-07-2010, 01:59 PM

Oooooh i really dont know to be honest

I think id be worried my little one would ask why you didnt have christmas decorations uo and then possibly them questioning santa,

My son is 10 and still believes in santa (hope this lasts until after christmas!!!) And i feel blessed for that belief to have lasted so long x

**Gherkin** · 22-07-2010, 02:00 PM

I am not religious at all but when my children went to a childminder I chose someone who never talked about religion in the context of themselves, they talked about celebrations/religiuos holidays in a teaching manner with the children which was fine.

Imo I do not discuss my thoughts on religion or politics with any of my mindees parents/carers at all.

If a childminder said to me I do not celebrate birthdays/christmas/eid I would feel my children were missing out on a celebration of themselves and of the world/society that they live in.

Unfortunatly you are suffering from the fact that JW's get a bad press but if you said to me I am a JW and I don't celebrate xxxx I would have to reconsider sending my child to you. Sorry but that is the way I feel.

**Pedagog** · 22-07-2010, 02:01 PM

There was a time when I would of said no, wouldn't worry me, but...

Honestly yes it would stop me, as having had a JW tell my mother that my father had just dies of cancer because of his sins, I would not be happy leaving my child in a situaition were they might be told that their grandfather was evil and thats why he had died. My father by the way was a C of E Vicar, and the JW was knocking on the Vicarage door days after his death.

**EllaBella** · 22-07-2010, 02:04 PM

when its a childs birthday i make a fuss and say oohhh another year older, you look like you have grown an inch overnight ect ect i ask what presents they got , and they choose the food they would like for tea, usually sandwiches and jelly type food,

christmas, we do all the art and craft stuff, cards, the children tell me all about father christmas, they have christmas carols , ect ect, we make mince pies for them to give to their families, . we make snowflakes, and snowmen, and they generally drive themselves mad telling me what they are getting

and asking what everyone else is getting.

my daughter celebrates christmas and as a treat for us both we are going to egypt for christmas, she doesnt miss out on gifts, i treat her throughout the year, little surprise things

, i have ust booked to see Grease! in october for her.

i still send my mum flowers and little gifts i see when i go shopping that i think she may like, and i send my sister little packages about 4 times a year, they dont bother with me, but i dont mind. thats families for you

my daughter has a huge neon pink christmas tree that she plonks in the hall every year

**sarah707** · 22-07-2010, 02:07 PM

I think the problem with a childminding interview is we get about an hour with a family who then have to decide whether they want us to care for their child or not...

They are weighing up lots of things - do they like us, is our price right, can we agree on basic things like health and safety, what will we do with the children...?

They have probably been to see lots of other childminders as well as us, so they know there is a choice out there.

I might get a few enquiries and of those I know that a percentage will go elsewhere. I would not necessarily know why because they would not tell me...

You have had a person tell you and it has hurt you, which is natural but it is that person who is bigoted and not something you have done wrong.

I think for the future use what has happened as a lesson for handling interviews.

Perhaps by being crystal clear at the interview stage about where your personal life starts and finishes.

Your personal life is important to you and it is part of what makes you tick but you would not necessarily take it into an office with you so while it guides you personally, professionally you have a different role to fulfil.

Your business is about following the Eyfs, so you respect the need to educate children about a multicultural and global curriculum. You do this because it improves outcomes for children and by doing it you are prepared to put your personal beliefs to one side.

This is the same as a vegetarian childminder who cooks meat for a mindee or a childminder who celebrates Kwanzaa with her family and is also happy to mark Christmas with the mindees.

Does that make sense?

Oh and put what that man said out of your mind. You wouldn't want to work with him anyway.

Hugs xx

**EllaBella** · 22-07-2010, 02:09 PM

and when you are all getting excited about christmas..............im going

waiting for the sales!!!!

i do a big roast on xmas day but really theres nothing else for me to do , everything is shut lol. we watch films and go for walks and stuff, i ust dont do the father christmas bit iyswim ..... come the sales... im like a geyhound !!!!

**EllaBella** · 22-07-2010, 02:14 PM

iv never said ,,, my names ella and im a jw, but it has each time come up, for example chatting about birthdays coming up and the like, and it would have been wrong of me to lie or say nothing, still if people choose to not choose me for that one reason then its probably for the best

im loving all of your input, thanks

**PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER** · 22-07-2010, 02:42 PM

When I was little my childminder (who is still now as an adult my second mum) Is Muslim. And I LOVED it!

She celebated all the christian festivals with me (I am an RC) as well as all her own and i loved being embraced into her family and celebrating their festivals.

My parents saw it as an education.

the only time I would not send is if their judgments no matter what religion was forced upon my child, or if the cm was wearing a burqa and my child couldnt see their face x

**kindredspirits** · 22-07-2010, 02:49 PM

it wouldn't put me off - we're not celebrating christmas this year - simply because i don't believe it any of it at all and finally the hypocracy of 'peace on earth' etc has eaten away at me - we hardly did xmas last year but did have a tree etc - this year i am not sure what we'll do - but the kids won't know any difference, we'll still do cards/decs cooking etc

On saying that I had a christian family come and grill me on my religious beliefs - and then the lack of them - before they decided to use me as a CM.

their right to do so i suppose, it was one of my first cm'ing interviews and i was nervous so answered all their questions about my belief in angels........... now i'd tell them briefly and then explain that it has no impact on my day to day setting and pass it off.