Extended settling period?

[snufflepuff]

As some of you know, i am having trouble with my new mindee. She is not settling well at all. She is in her 3rd week now. I have a 4 week settling in period where either party can terminate without notice. To use this i would have to give notice next week.

Do you think i could suggest extending this settling in period by another 4 weeks? This gives more time to work on trying to settle her, then if there is no improvement after another 4 weeks we can end things without notice.

She is very hard work, she has had me in tears and is effecting my son and other mindees. But she is only 12 months old and i think 4 weeks to settle in is not long, as she only comes 2 days a week. Perhaps she just needs longer.

[The Juggler]

if you are happy to offer an extension on the no-notice period then I would. Personally from contract start date I go straight to one month's notice as I can't afford to have any immediate terminations. I do my settling in before the contract start date.

You need to do what works for you. In honesty though even if you think you def. won't want to continue, if mum is back at work it'd be nice to offer her the notice period to find someone else.

[margaret]

I would give her another another month possibly even two ,sometimes you really have to persevere(unless you and family are getting really upset) ,as you say she is only 12mths ,2 days a week and then a break of 5 days away is along time at that age(if that is how you work it)she is probably only just getting used to you and you her and she is away again.

[youarewhatyoueat]

Are you saying she has been with you for 6 days and she has reduced you to tears, what has she done. I would definately suggest a further settling in period for you and your family, that should be totally acceptable to the parents. good luck

[snufflepuff]

Are you saying she has been with you for 6 days and she has reduced you to tears

She had 2 settling in sessions and has attended 5 days so far. She basically screams the almost whole time. She wants constant one on one attention, and if my son or another mindee comes near me she will try to pull them away. If they get too close to her she hits them. If she is sat on my lap she doesn't scream but i obviously cannot do that all day. She wont play or look at books, even when sat on my lap....she just wants to sit. Today when she arrived both my son and mindee cried and clung to me as though they are scared of her- not like them at all.
I creid because i felt bad for my son- im in this job for his sake but he gets no attention, gets hit, cannot cuddle me without being pulled away etc. Plus of course the constant screaming is not nice to listen to either.

[miffy]

Poor you - it sounds a nightmare! Have you talked to mum? Does lo behave like this at home and if she does how does mum handle her behaviour?

If you're happy to carry on then suggest extending the settling in period to mum or perhaps try some more sessions with mum around too and see if lo behaves any differently - perhaps that might help her settle.

Miffy xx

[Rubybubbles]

firstly hugs

How old is your son? It sounds to me like more time is def needed as 2 days a week at 12 months must be very scary for the poor mite!

You sound like you have a good plan to me xx

[snufflepuff]

How old is your son?

He is 16 months- so not old enough to understand that she is only little, is missing her Mummy etc.

When Mum picked up last night she said she is handing her notice in at work and going self employed. She still wants LO to come but for shorter days. So when i write up changes to the contract i will just put that we will start another 4 weeks period whereby we can terminate with immediate effect.
At least it means i only have her for 7 hrs a day rather than 8.5.....that makes me feel a little better! She might want ad-hoc extra days too but i told her there is no guarantee i will have a space.

[suzyblue]

I think its a good idea to me to extend the settling in period. It sounds like you do not want to give up too easily but you are aware that it is effecting your other kids. Hopefully she will settle soon and it will work out well.
Good luck