Table manners: Am I being too harsh?!

[harrysgirl]

I have 2 mindees (4 & 3) plus my own child (2). At mealtimes we all sit together, making it a social occasion and an opportunity to chat together. The older mindee wolfes down his food extremely quickly (within a couple of minutes), whilst the others take their time. As soon as older mindee finishes his food he's straight up from the table and goes dashing off to play....my issue is now when he does this the others are following and not finishing their food as they'd rather be playing!
Am I being too harsh in saying that our new house rule is we remain at the table until everyone is finished??!
...and while I'm on the subject, do you have any advice in trying to slow his eating down a bit (he piles it up high on his fork and I'm sure he doesn't chew it!) as he often comments that either 1. he's still hungry (probably because his body hasn't even registered he's eaten!) or 2. "I've got tummy ache now"
Any advice?

[Mookins]

you are right table manners are v v important i feel, no way would i let him leave the table
especially as you possible then cant keep an eye as you watching the little ones up the table
x x x

[christine e]

Hi

This is always a problem here. I try to get everyone to stay until the last one has finished but then sometimes the last one is taking a very long time to eat so it is not fair on the others. What I do is ask that they stay to the table for a reasonable time but not til the last one has finished if they are taking too long. Re the child who is not chewing food properly try encouraging to do a number of chews before swallowing.

Cx

[Pipsqueak]

We all stop at the table till everyone has finished and there is no dashing of to play. Fair enough if there are some real slow finishers but we all stay at the table a reasonable period of time.

[sarah707]

We all stop at the table till everyone has finished and there is no dashing of to play. Fair enough if there are some real slow finishers but we all stay at the table a reasonable period of time.

Exactly the same!

I have one who bolts his food as well and I find I am regularly reminding him to chew properly.

Maybe you could organise a healthy eating week, including thoughts about eating properly?

[suzyblue]

I can only suggest that you sit with this mindee and encourage him to slow down. At four he is old enough to sit and wait for everyone else and once he realises he cant go and play he may slow down his eating anyway. I get my mindees to wait and they are happy too as they all have desert at the same time then once cleaned up they can go and play.

[PixiePetal]

Mine all wait till we have finished unless I have a really slow one and I might let others get down while they finish desert as they have waited long enough

[Twinkles]

Same here, I have one who bolts food and doesn't chew so I'm always reminding her to ' Chew and slow down it's not a race'

I then have a couple of reeeaaallly slow eaters to whom I am always saying ' Hurry up a bit , put some food in your mouth'

I make the 'racer' wait a reasonable time to chat even if she has finished.

[AliceK]

We all stop at the table till everyone has finished and there is no dashing of to play. Fair enough if there are some real slow finishers but we all stay at the table a reasonable period of time.

Same here, everyone has to wait at the table for a reasonable amount of time if others are still eating. It's usually my DD that wants to get down but that's because she doesn't eat anything but by telling her to wait because the others are still eating sometimes if I'm really lucky she will try and eat some of hers.

xxxx

[rickysmiths]

I had a 4 year old who started with me 2yrs ago who did this. He still eats quickly but always stays at the table until everyone has finished. He has discovered that he actually enjoys the talking that is going on and the little bit of calm time.

[Bitsy Beans]

No I do similar - the only exception can be my DD who's not yet 2 - she eats twice as much as everyone else and twice as fast but sometimes making her wait ensures a screaming fit so I have to gauge how it's going to go LOL!
My biggest bugbear is mindees not facing the table to eat, not sitting on chair properly etc. I keep requesting that they sit nicely like princesses and soldiers

[AnnieM]

I don't allow any of mine to leave the table until everyone has finished (within reason), I used to have a food bolter but once he realised that he had to sit there until we had all finished, he gradually started to slow down, as he was rushing his food to go back and play. I think table manners are so important, most familys don't even sit down at a table for meals these days so if they don't learn it at home, where do they learn manners.

[parkbrad]

I am of the opinion that you are not too harsh. Table manners are extremely important and I think not allowing anyone to leave the table until everyone has finished is a very good idea. I think that he wolfes down the food because he wants to leave the table and go back playing but if it is not allowed to leave until the others finished their meal, he will also slow down a bit. There is no reason any more why he should hurry up eating.

[Helen Dempster]

I agree with the other comments - table manners are a very important social skill, and alot of parents/kids don't even sit at the table very often these days, so I think you're def doing the right thing I try and get them to wait til everyone's finished, not only cos it's good manners, but also to let their food digest a while before rushing about - I'm not very good with vomit! bleurgh!!!!

[The Juggler]

Hi

This is always a problem here. I try to get everyone to stay until the last one has finished but then sometimes the last one is taking a very long time to eat so it is not fair on the others. What I do is ask that they stay to the table for a reasonable time but not til the last one has finished if they are taking too long. Re the child who is not chewing food properly try encouraging to do a number of chews before swallowing.

Cx

I do the same, when most people have finished and my ds is still chewing his carrots one tiny bit at a time, I let the others get down but I do expect them to stay until most have finished.

I think the counting chews is a good idea, will slow him down and get a bit of PSRN in too

[Trouble]

we have rules at the table i agree with everyone else

big hugs xxxx

[tashaleee]

We all stop at the table till everyone has finished and there is no dashing of to play. Fair enough if there are some real slow finishers but we all stay at the table a reasonable period of time.

same here

[sonia ann]

the same as others..................my lo's all have to say "thank you" and "may I leave the table?" as well

[Graham]

We all sit together at meal times, it is very difficult to get fidgity tots to sit still when they have finished and wait for the others but we tell them to sit and wait until everyone has finished, eventually they get the message and start to eat slower when they know they can't dash off to play.

[babs]

we all sit down together to eat and stay sitting at table until everyone has finished, i don't even bring yogurts out until everyone is ready as sometimes lo's see yogurt and say they are finished hence leaving their lunch, even if my 18 yr old son is home he has to sit and wait until mindees have finished too. they all have very good table manners one lo does not even sit at a table at home but does here mums commented on this.