Advice please- swapping days

**snufflepuff** · 18-04-2010, 07:32 PM

Parent phoned me earlier to say her LO has a terrible rash, they took her to the hospital yesterday and they said it was probably a virus or infection causing it but with no other symptoms it was probably nothing to worry about. She said did i still want her tomorrow or should she send her to her grandmother instead and i have her Friday when her grandmother usually would. Now, i was at a family BBQ, it was loud and i was busy, and i just agreed to swap days- because i dont want to risk my son catching anything. As soon as a hung up i realised id done the wrong thing- i dont want to swap days! We go on holiday next week and i need time to pack. Plus she only suggested it because she doesnt want to pay me for her usual 2 days if i only have her for one- she did this last week because she was ill herself. Understandable but not my problem unfortunately!
Thing is though, im not sure what to say now- i need to give her a reason for changing my mind and it needs to be something were she cant just say 'thats ok just take G with you'. Any suggestions?!

**Minstrel** · 18-04-2010, 07:37 PM

Can't you just say you have another child booked in and will be over numbers? I say this all the time if soemone asks me to do extra and i dont want to but can't think off a better excuse. (i have 3 adhoc contracts running alongside my regulars so i just say it one of them)

**snufflepuff** · 18-04-2010, 07:41 PM

Wish i could, but shes my only mindee at the moment!

**venus89** · 18-04-2010, 07:46 PM

tbh it seems like a fair swap to me. She's been honest with you, rather than sending in a child with a rash that you then stress about for the day. You have no legitimate grounds to refuse the child tomorrow but on the groundsof looking after your son and ensuring he doesn't get it you've said you'll swap> Just pack early

**snufflepuff** · 18-04-2010, 08:16 PM

You're right, it was good of her to let me know etc, and i would pack early but im so busy the rest of the week i just wouldnt have time!- got a toddler group to run, a prospective parent visiting, promised i'd help my gran out with something, im visiting my friend and her newborn baby

, i have mindee on Wednesday as usual if she is well..........i really should have said no, i just didnt think...........im so crap when im put on the spot like that!

**venus89** · 18-04-2010, 08:21 PM

I'm awful if put on the spot as well. The text and I can deal with it rationally. Phone and I agree to all sorts of stuff that I later wonder why I said 'yes' to..... But can't ou us the time you hav free tomorrow to do what you'd do on Friday? Just turn your week around....?

**snufflepuff** · 18-04-2010, 08:28 PM

Lol that was my first suggestion, then DP reminded me that if i packed tomorrow i would probably unpack it all over the course of the week because we would have nothing else to wear....then would have to re-pack it again at some point!

**venus89** · 18-04-2010, 08:32 PM

ROFL - that's a darned good point!

**The Juggler** · 18-04-2010, 08:45 PM

Originally Posted by snufflepuff

Wish i could, but shes my only mindee at the moment!

I would plead a forgotten dentist appointment in the middle of the day. if you let her do it this time she'll expect it again. or, say you didn't hear properly, agree to do it this once as a one-off but explain to her that you weren't working so you are giving up your day off. Don't see why grandma can't have her if she normally does anyhow

**tashaleee** · 18-04-2010, 09:36 PM

I think you need to stop this before it becomes a habit of hers. She has, I understand, 'fixed contracted days' - if the child is ill then its really not your problem. As I read your post you swapped for her last week so your best bet would be to text (easier than fluffing on the phone) and make up an appointment for fri (personal docs appoint that you couldnt have a child at for 'female stuff'

) so unfortunately you cant swap. You could always say as she rang your were at bbq so didnt have your diary handy and with your holiday coming up you forgot about the appt? If you start off swapping too often when it suits a parent then they often expect it and it doesnt always work both ways.....

**huggableshelly** · 18-04-2010, 09:44 PM

I would be inclined to accept the swap of days this time but next time remind her of the contracted days and say no you are busy.
use the day you should be having her to get organised if you can.

make sure she knows you are swapping as a favour but any more swapping of days she must pay for the 2 contracted days then an additional fee for an extra day, she will soon stop it.

**Mouse** · 18-04-2010, 09:50 PM

Originally Posted by huggableshelly

I would be inclined to accept the swap of days this time but next time remind her of the contracted days and say no you are busy.
use the day you should be having her to get organised if you can.

make sure she knows you are swapping as a favour but any more swapping of days she must pay for the 2 contracted days then an additional fee for an extra day, she will soon stop it.

I agree with that. I don't think you can back out now that you've agreed to swapping days, but you must stress to the mum that this is a one off and that in future you won't be able to do it.

Unfortunatly parents very often don't understand why they can't just swap days, especially if they know you have spaces on the other days. It seems logical to them, so you need to make it clear why you can't do it.

**wendywu** · 18-04-2010, 10:12 PM

I would just text her back and say sorry but having consulted your diary you realise that you are not available for work.

**cuffleygirl** · 19-04-2010, 06:29 AM

No don't do it plead an appointment. I have been caught by this recently - believing I was being flexible but I was being taken for a mug - the flexing only happens one way and I resented it so no more mrs bendy!

**haribo** · 19-04-2010, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by cuffleygirl

No don't do it plead an appointment. I have been caught by this recently - believing I was being flexible but I was being taken for a mug - the flexing only happens one way and I resented it so no more mrs bendy!

i also have learnt the hard way not to do this - its fine until you try swapping days lol and the parents cant /wont . flexibility has to work both ways for me now x

**suzyblue** · 19-04-2010, 07:59 AM

I dont swap anymore because parents started trying to swap when it was a bank holiday. You dont have to give a reason, just say your not available that day.

**snufflepuff** · 19-04-2010, 09:21 AM

Thanks everyone. I think i'll just tell her im really sorry but i've realised i can't do Friday. (Then get ready to think of an excuse because i know shes the type of person to ask- i once had a GP appointment, on one of my days off, and she asked me what it was for!!)
Its hard to get the balance right between being flexible and helpful, and becoming a pushover! I need to start as i meant to go on!

**The Juggler** · 19-04-2010, 12:43 PM

Originally Posted by snufflepuff

Thanks everyone. I think i'll just tell her im really sorry but i've realised i can't do Friday. (Then get ready to think of an excuse because i know shes the type of person to ask- i once had a GP appointment, on one of my days off, and she asked me what it was for!!)
Its hard to get the balance right between being flexible and helpful, and becoming a pushover! I need to start as i meant to go on!

tell her you're having a brazilian