Converstaions on the school run..

**Jelly Baby** · 23-03-2010, 07:07 PM

Ok as some of you know i do the school runs with 4 children..1 girl, 2 boys and my dd. As some of you will know i have had probs with the boys and wondered if i will ever get anywhere having words with them, thier parents etc..today was a typical day in how they talk and wondered if it is me being unreasonable or not?

First one piped up chatting away about how he 'takes his friend out at school' (i.e beating him up)..how he can punch so much harder and hurt anyone he wants..i explained that 'taking people out' is not nice or clever and he will get in lots of trouble for it..with this his brother joins in about him doing it and i abruptly stop that conversation.

He then starts on how he has watched a program about taking drugs and smoking..again i said it was very dangerous and not clever and could we please not discuss it.

We then went on to cutting people in half with circular saws and rather gruesome things?? by this point i had had enough and told then to try and focus on something nice asking them what they were doing at the weekend..it didnt work..dd is looking at me shocked at this point and the other mindee is asking them all sort os Q's about saws??!

If they are not talking about something horrific they are winding the little girl up i have which results in crying and me stressed.

I REALLY want the twins now so as to deal with this situation once and for all as banging my head against a brick wall!

**mamasheshe** · 23-03-2010, 07:15 PM

talk to parents and explain this behavior is not acceptable? sounds like their trying to wind you up

**Jelly Baby** · 23-03-2010, 07:19 PM

I have numerous times..they get a slight ticking off and back to normal. As for the saws talk included guns which mum hates..the boys have one at nans house and are forbidden to tell anyone apparantly only i know?..if i told mum this i feel like i am telling tales and starting a possible huge argument with family. I dont think he trys to wind me up poss attention although we always try to chat about nice things it gets wiped out.. he just doesn't care/think..if i pretend not to listen he just starts on the girl therefore getting my attention.

Pipsqueak · 23-03-2010, 08:35 PM

sounds like a strict (firm but fair) talk before leaving for school -
these are the rules:
no talking about guns, bullying, drugs etc - its not acceptable and there will be consquences ie no Wii tonight when we get in - you will get a book and sit and read it.
OR failing that - carry on talking to the other children slightly louder about NICE things

**wendywu** · 23-03-2010, 08:50 PM

When he starts I would try the very loud cross voice " WE ARE NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY"

I personally not put up with this type of talk.

amirose · 23-03-2010, 08:58 PM

The only good thing about when kids behave like this is it does seriously help with your own behaviour management

I look after two kids (6&10 & siblings) who are really hard work - I am not strict don't really do strict and would rather never have to do telling off but these two have taught me how to be if I need to - taking that as a positive thing

I put a 6 year old in "chill out time" last week (for punching someone)

but hey it worked

Think of some consequences and go through some house rules its honestly worked for me

**brightstar** · 24-03-2010, 10:26 AM

I had a major problem with my 5 mindees on the school run, bouncing around, shouting, throwing things etc. I spoke to their mum, who read them the riot act. It didn't work so we discussed using shock tactics. Next time it started I pulled over abruptly, turned around and roared "now you have made me angry! We are going to drive past the school straight to mammys work. I'm going to leave you there and you won't come to me again" By the time we came to the school turnoff they were all saying sorry and wouldn't do it again

I felt awful doing it, but it worked

they are all well behaved now. Now we count sports cars, white vans etc on the way to school, or sing along to the nursery rhymes cd, hope you get them sorted soon.

**Ripeberry** · 24-03-2010, 10:34 AM

Originally Posted by CheekyMonkey

I had a major problem with my 5 mindees on the school run, bouncing around, shouting, throwing things etc. I spoke to their mum, who read them the riot act. It didn't work so we discussed using shock tactics. Next time it started I pulled over abruptly, turned around and roared "now you have made me angry! We are going to drive past the school straight to mammys work. I'm going to leave you there and you won't come to me again" By the time we came to the school turnoff they were all saying sorry and wouldn't do it again

I felt awful doing it, but it worked

they are all well behaved now. Now we count sports cars, white vans etc on the way to school, or sing along to the nursery rhymes cd, hope you get them sorted soon.

Wow! That's the way to do it, I'm a quiet person and it takes a lot to push my buttons, but when I explode it can be spectacular

Reminds me of a time when my first daughter was only a baby, we were in the swimming pool changing rooms and a woman had just got out and was getting her daughter dressed, but the girl did not want to wear her skirt.
She spent almost 15 mins just talking to her about it (3yr old), with a really pathetic pleading voice.
You could tell the little girl was enjoying the power she had over her mum

If that was my girl, I would just day "Fine then, you can walk back to the car and everyone can admire your knickers"

**Spangles** · 24-03-2010, 11:07 AM

Originally Posted by Ripeberry

Reminds me of a time when my first daughter was only a baby, we were in the swimming pool changing rooms and a woman had just got out and was getting her daughter dressed, but the girl did not want to wear her skirt.
She spent almost 15 mins just talking to her about it (3yr old), with a really pathetic pleading voice.
You could tell the little girl was enjoying the power she had over her mum

If that was my girl, I would just day "Fine then, you can walk back to the car and everyone can admire your knickers"

That's what I would have said too! Ha ha! And I would have done it if push came to shove although it would be a very, very, quick walk to the car! Probably would have mentioned time out first though to be honest! I have found that they don't seem to like being put on time out in public places so that usually does the trick!

**Jelly Baby** · 24-03-2010, 01:00 PM

Thanks ladies it's not just me then?!

This morning wasn't too bad they got in as usual and dad tore off..i asked the older one where his coat was and he just said he ddint have it..i got to school with them and the teacher went mad at him..this is antoher ongoing thing with them forgettign everythign all the time. She looked at me sympathetically and i said with all fairness i had done my job of mentioning it over and over and was tlaking to a brick wall. Sigh!
He will be very cold and wet later when i collect as has to stand and wait for others and no coat..does it bother him..nope!
Also meant to say i literally pick them up and drop home so no coming back here for them..although they do ask to!!

**nokidshere** · 25-03-2010, 02:38 AM

Originally Posted by Tiny Tots

Thanks ladies it's not just me then?!

This morning wasn't too bad they got in as usual and dad tore off..i asked the older one where his coat was and he just said he ddint have it..i got to school with them and the teacher went mad at him..this is antoher ongoing thing with them forgettign everythign all the time. She looked at me sympathetically and i said with all fairness i had done my job of mentioning it over and over and was tlaking to a brick wall. Sigh!
He will be very cold and wet later when i collect as has to stand and wait for others and no coat..does it bother him..nope!
Also meant to say i literally pick them up and drop home so no coming back here for them..although they do ask to!!

I find this post quite disturbing! Firstly the teacher going mad at him? Whats that all about? And why the sighing? and telling the teacher that talking to the parents was like talking to a brick wall? Or did you mean talking to the child was like talking to a brick wall? Either way its pretty unprofessional.

You don't mention his age but most children don't listen, most children forget things, and no child can be blamed for the shortcomings of their parents! If he is a young child then his parents need reminding - in writing if necessary - that he needs his coat, maybe you could ask for a spare one to keep at your house for him? if he is an older child then there is no problem - he forgets his coat = he gets wet and cold. But in my experience boys rarely bother about cold and rain anyway.

You sound like you don't like him much - maybe its time to call it a day?

**Jelly Baby** · 23-04-2010, 04:07 PM

Only just seen this post and feel i should clarify matters.

Firstly the teacher going mad at him is none of my business. I get paid to drop the kids to school nothing else..the conversations between parent and school is exactly that.. between them. The school likes them to have a coat when it is cold and wet. Wether he thinks he will be ok wet and cold is not really the point.

The whole spare coat thing is pointless as they never remember anything nevermind their coats. The amount of times as a gesture of good will i have dropped things to school for them is beyond a belief and i nipped that in the bud when i knew i wasnt getting anywhere. Swimming bags, pe kits, packed lunches, money they need..i could go on!

I love the boys as have had them now for years..the youngest since he was a year old so although i dislike the way they can be at times i do not dislike them as children as realise that it is not thier fault they are not sent with coats.