6yrold play help plz

**mushpea** · 08-03-2010, 08:44 PM

I look after a 6yrold boy who up untill the last month has played ok with toys i have like action man, turtles, lego, knex etc, this last month if the wii is not on he is bored, i belive he plays on the wii all weekend and not toys and now dosent really play with toys, trouble is when he is not on the wii (they get half hour each pernight) he and my son are play fighting and pulling each other about and he ends up getting hurt as my son is older, he then complains to his mum who talks to me about it, me and mum do talk and she is satisfied that i am working on the problem BUT i need some ideas as to what this boy and my son can do together which involves them both but does not invovle fighting, its difficult cause he dosent really play with toys and my son has social interaciton issues, have tried board games but there is only so many we can play a night and bought a scalxtric which they like but again this gets 'boring after a while'.
do you guys have any ideas of what they can play with,,, oh and when i ask them both toghether or on their own what they want to play with i get a 'dunno', toys are there for them to see and ask for aswell.

Pipsqueak · 08-03-2010, 08:51 PM

Boy stuff - the play fighting, wanna play on consoles etc etc
Boy stuff when they come out of school they just want to let rip

I think you do right only allowing a certain amount of time on the console.
I would nip the playfighting in the bud but I would strongly point out to the parent that the mindee willingly joins in and your son is not deliberately hurting him. Playfighting is a right of passage and goes back eons - a boy learning to be a man sort of thing.

Just keep encouraging them/him to do other stuff. Sit down and involve him/son in planning.

**youarewhatyoueat** · 08-03-2010, 09:29 PM

Ball games outside, nature stuff outside, game boys( really cheap on ebay with games),have you tried getting the boys to make the rules up, the younger child needs to be able to say no to your son and your son needs to learn when to stop.
Perhaps your son needs some space in his bedroom for half an hour afterschool.
Got to admit having other peoples boys with my own can be a bit of a nightmare and I try not to do it too often.
It will be easier now the weather has improved as you can get them all outside after a snack, we play rounders,quick cricket, basket ball.
I stopped offering dinner because I found that they were so much better with a good snack and then we can play and supervise games without me being stuck in the kitchen waiting for the tittle tattling to begin.

**Trouble** · 08-03-2010, 09:31 PM

football sounds good to burn some energy

and any of the above

xxxxxxxxx

Pipsqueak · 08-03-2010, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by youarewhatyoueat

the younger child needs to be able to say no to your son and your son needs to learn when to stop.
Perhaps your son needs some space in his bedroom for half an hour afterschool.
.

do you not think the younger child needs to learn when to stop. in my experience as a minder and a mum the younger child is more often than not the instigator and the one that carries it too far. The older/bigger child often just playfights as they would do with a child their own age/size and doesn't realise that they are hurting.
I agree that as already said, that it needs to be nipped in the bud.

And i did not get the impression the OP was saying her son was out of hand so why would he need space in his own room. I would never send my kids up to their rooms just because I had mindees - after all this is their home. I don't even suggest that they go up for some space. Yes i would send them up if they are being out of order. My kids - after school want a bit of time with me and on the whole they have to wait till mindees have gone home and THAT is tough on them (and me). I know its all a balancing act and it can be quite tough

**mushpea** · 09-03-2010, 06:58 AM

Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

do you not think the younger child needs to learn when to stop. in my experience as a minder and a mum the younger child is more often than not the instigator and the one that carries it too far. The older/bigger child often just playfights as they would do with a child their own age/size and doesn't realise that they are hurting.
I agree that as already said, that it needs to be nipped in the bud.

And i did not get the impression the OP was saying her son was out of hand so why would he need space in his own room. I would never send my kids up to their rooms just because I had mindees - after all this is their home. I don't even suggest that they go up for some space. Yes i would send them up if they are being out of order. My kids - after school want a bit of time with me and on the whole they have to wait till mindees have gone home and THAT is tough on them (and me). I know its all a balancing act and it can be quite tough

you are right in saying the younger child is the instigator as he sneakily winds my son up when we arent looking then says he didnt, i have said to mum they are both fighting and its not all comming from my son and she is quite understanding of this to a point , but last night after me telling them 3 times to stop fighting i asked them to sit at the kitchen table whilst i prepared mine and OH's tea which made the younger one sulk, they were allowed to do colouring but he didnt want to so when mum came i explained they were sitting there as i couldnt trust them to behave on their own and he burst in to tears claiming he didnt do anything GGRRRRRR

tonight they arent going on the wii when they get in im going to make them wait then whilst im cooking tea they can go on it and if they play up before hand then they wont go on it at all.
I am determind to sort this out as when he first started nearly a year ago him and my son got on great so i want it to be like that again.
I appriciate the suggestion of outside play but we are currently laying blok paving so its out of bounds till next week.

**SimplyLucy** · 09-03-2010, 07:37 AM

How about starting a long term project, something that will take a few weeks to complete.

My sons love those dinosaur kits where you dig the bones out of a solid block then build them all together. It takes ages to dig them out so would last a while.

Look up some simple kitchen science experiments, you can make a wonderful volcano with bicarb and vinegar. Get the boys to Google how to do it, print the instructions and plan together. Another fun science things is just dropping raisins in lemonade and watching them bob up and down, with a cup each they could have raisin races!

The weather is getting better now too so lots of garden activites, you could do a treasure hunt, but make them work beside each other. Hide 2 different colours of pegs all over the garden (say 20) then give them a colour each to find, that way you don't get one child grabbing all the ones they see and leaving the other out.

Good luck

**edit, just saw your garden is out of action but the treasure hunt could be done inside!

**merry** · 09-03-2010, 07:46 AM

Do they like lego or knex or something like that where they could work together to build something? I think at this age they still need a lot of adult input and if you're there doing something with them it can really help. I look after a few boys after school and if I don't keep on top of things it does end up being play fighting all the time.

I have to say that as a parent I wouldn't be too impressed that a childminder looking after my child had left them unsupervised to go off and prepare her tea. I know it's hard to fit everything in in a long working day, but if the children are there then they take priority.

**mushpea** · 09-03-2010, 08:03 AM

Originally Posted by merry

Do they like lego or knex or something like that where they could work together to build something? I think at this age they still need a lot of adult input and if you're there doing something with them it can really help. I look after a few boys after school and if I don't keep on top of things it does end up being play fighting all the time.

I have to say that as a parent I wouldn't be too impressed that a childminder looking after my child had left them unsupervised to go off and prepare her tea. I know it's hard to fit everything in in a long working day, but if the children are there then they take priority.

understand what your saying but they were still in ear shot and in sight via a appropriatly placed mirror, ususaly i dont prepare our tea when they are here but had to go on a course last night so no choice, normally we eat about 8pm but i do give the mindees their tea with my children around 5pm so i still have to prepare dinner weather it be ours or theres.

Pipsqueak · 09-03-2010, 08:06 AM

Originally Posted by merry

Do they like lego or knex or something like that where they could work together to build something? I think at this age they still need a lot of adult input and if you're there doing something with them it can really help. I look after a few boys after school and if I don't keep on top of things it does end up being play fighting all the time.

I have to say that as a parent I wouldn't be too impressed that a childminder looking after my child had left them unsupervised to go off and prepare her tea. I know it's hard to fit everything in in a long working day, but if the children are there then they take priority.

the OP hasn't said she is leaving a child unsupervised - at 6yrs old the child doesn't need (unless their are particular circumstances) to be constantly or even closely supervised. The OP said that she put both the children at the kitchen table with colouring in. So the child I am presuming would be within earshot and possibly within eyesight. He is old enough to amuse himself for some minutes.

We don't need to be on top of older children all the time - school certainly aren't, Playwork principles certainly don't recommend it.

I am sure the OP recognises that the children take priority but there still other stuff within our day that needs to be done and cooking tea is one of them. Would you say this if it was the childs tea the OP was cooking? It depends on when the child goes home. I have to get on with certain bits when minded children are here and if I waited until the children had gone home then my lot wouldn't get anything until quite late at night - and tbh my priority is ensuring my children are fed and watered as well as ensuring the children I care for.