Dilema

**helenlc** · 15-02-2010, 07:03 PM

A lady has been in touch with me for almost 2 mths now about having her grand daughter, 7 mth old girl. The ladies daughter and grand daughter are in South Africa and are in the process of applying for a visa to come over here. (Has already been refused once so are appealing). They want care for 2days a week while Mum goes to college.

They offered a deposit but have so far not come up with it and have said due to the delays with visa, they accept that I might not have a space.

In the meantime, I had that couple come last week who want full time care for their 8 mth old baby. As it is due to start on 1st march I suggested that they didnt need to worry about a deposit - they also said they would let me know by the end of this week if they needed me.

Well the Grand mother of first baby text me today and said that they were still unsure about when mum and baby would get over but they wanted to pay a deposit as they said they would.

I havent responded yet!!

Once I accpe the deposit, I have to keep the space for them, dont I? Thats the whole point of the deposit. But the other baby would suit more as more hours. Also not sure how long first baby's mum college course is going to be - whereas second baby's mum said she wants her baby to stay with the same person until school age ie a longer commitment than the first.

So now I dont know what to do

The second baby's parents might not even want me, in which case I dont want to risk saying No to the first one, as 2 days is better than nothing. BUT I dont want to take the first one's deposit and then have to turn the second one down if they do want LO to come here.

Can I change my mind and return a deposit? Or once I have accepted it, I have to keep the place and thats it?

Hope I havent confused you in all this!!!

**Beckieboo** · 15-02-2010, 07:23 PM

Hi Helen,

Didnt want to read and run, my understanding is that if you take a deposit you have to keep the space? I think i would ring the couple you prefer and tell them you have another enquiry and whether they know yet that they want the place, i have done this twice and both times they came within 24hrs, deposit paid and settling in arranged.

Hope this helps, Good Luck!!

**Tatjana** · 15-02-2010, 07:27 PM

Wouldn't you need a contract to accept the deposit? Surely the grandma won't be doing the contract for her grandchild instead of the mum?

Sorry, not been much help!

xx

**Fabby** · 15-02-2010, 07:29 PM

Errrrrrmmmm, I would call ofsted see if they can gove u the correct answer

**huggableshelly** · 15-02-2010, 07:32 PM

take on the 8 month old, sounds much more reliable

if a parent messes about at the start of the process then they will continue on (makes a note to listen to own advice)

you can then ... if you have space ofcourse, offer the other baby a place as soon as the 8 month old turns 1 .... if they want you that much they will wait just like you ahve been expected to wait for them!

**huggableshelly** · 15-02-2010, 07:33 PM

Originally Posted by Antonia

Errrrrrmmmm, I would call ofsted see if they can gove u the correct answer

without causing any issues ....

ofsted will say call your insurance company ie the NCMA to check with them as fees is not their department

*runs off to hide incase I offended anyone*

**Winnie** · 15-02-2010, 07:37 PM

Originally Posted by helenlc

A lady has been in touch with me for almost 2 mths now about having her grand daughter, 7 mth old girl. The ladies daughter and grand daughter are in South Africa and are in the process of applying for a visa to come over here. (Has already been refused once so are appealing). They want care for 2days a week while Mum goes to college.

They offered a deposit but have so far not come up with it and have said due to the delays with visa, they accept that I might not have a space.

In the meantime, I had that couple come last week who want full time care for their 8 mth old baby. As it is due to start on 1st march I suggested that they didnt need to worry about a deposit - they also said they would let me know by the end of this week if they needed me.

Well the Grand mother of first baby text me today and said that they were still unsure about when mum and baby would get over but they wanted to pay a deposit as they said they would.

I havent responded yet!!

Once I accpe the deposit, I have to keep the space for them, dont I? Thats the whole point of the deposit. But the other baby would suit more as more hours. Also not sure how long first baby's mum college course is going to be - whereas second baby's mum said she wants her baby to stay with the same person until school age ie a longer commitment than the first.

So now I dont know what to do

The second baby's parents might not even want me, in which case I dont want to risk saying No to the first one, as 2 days is better than nothing. BUT I dont want to take the first one's deposit and then have to turn the second one down if they do want LO to come here.

Can I change my mind and return a deposit? Or once I have accepted it, I have to keep the place and thats it?

Hope I havent confused you in all this!!!

I'm a bit confused

but i just have to ask....are you certain this is not some scam?

**huggableshelly** · 15-02-2010, 07:38 PM

Originally Posted by Winnie

I'm a bit confused

but i just have to ask....are you certain this is not some scam?

that was my thought too but didnt want to err cause anymore chaos than i already did

**bec123** · 15-02-2010, 07:39 PM

Hi

I don't want to put a dampner on this but I've heard about a scam and this sounds very familiar!!! Please don't give them your bank details, as I said I was sent an email telling me about a scam where they ask for a place but need your bank details to transfer the money - DONT DO IT!!!

I hope I'm wrong but as soon as I started reading this post the alarm bells started ringing.

**miffy** · 15-02-2010, 08:11 PM

Ring the parents of the 8 month old and say you've had another enquiry and ask if they have made their mind up.

Miffy xx

**helenlc** · 15-02-2010, 08:54 PM

I am not offended by the suggestion its a scam - I have been having the same thoughts myself which is why I have been careful about the information I have been giving them. I have read about similar scams doing the rounds before so have been very cautious.

When Grandmother asked for my bank details today, alarm bells rang again. I have not replied but if I was going to, I would insist on them paying by cheque.

I think I am just going to leave it a few days to see if she (Grandmother) gets in touch again and hope that in the meantime, the other parents call and want to come and sign.

**sillysausage** · 15-02-2010, 08:54 PM

My thought's were also whether or not it was a scam, however leaving that aside I am fairly sure that if you take the deposit then you are under no obligation to provide the space as long as you refund the deposit should the space no longer be available. As others have said don't give out your bank details.
Personally I would try and go with the 8 month old as this looks like a more viable and long term proposition. As Miffy says, give them a ring, you can but politely ask.

**sarak31** · 15-02-2010, 09:00 PM

I had heard a parent with the same thing although it was the father not the grandmother - ends with them asking for bank details - obviously you aren't going to give them over - and once I refused to give them then I didn't hear from them again so you may not hear from her again which would solve it!
Even if it wasn't a scam I'd definately go with the 8 month old - the others aren't here yet and if they have been refused a visa before then what's to say they won't again. The 8 month old sounds like it might be more reliable.

**Maguiresmonkeys** · 15-02-2010, 09:04 PM

Ive had simular emails from people abroad...and it was a scam

...money laundering (sp??) so be really careful (even if they send a cheque..) Hope the 8mth old's family get back to you soon...I think I would send a text to say you have interest in the space and ask them to let you know asap.

**kindredspirits** · 15-02-2010, 09:06 PM

take on the 8mo - even if you do get a deposit her visa has already been refused once so there's a high chance it will be again, and then you're left with the deposit but no stable income. you have to do whats right for you - not what you think other people need.

**PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER** · 15-02-2010, 09:10 PM

i know someone who has been scamed like this, They sent her a deposit cheque for too much money. So the cm refunded the over paid amount and guess what the cheque bounced

I would def go for baba2

**helenlc** · 15-02-2010, 09:35 PM

Even if it wasnt a scam, the uncertainty about mum getting a visa leaves it up in the air anyway -with or without a deposit. So I was going more towards the second one anyway.

Plus, one is 2 days and one is 5 days. If mum is at college, I would only charge a retainer in the holidays in which case half of 2 days money isnt much to go on throughout the college holidays.

Thanks for your opinions and advice

**The Juggler** · 15-02-2010, 09:36 PM

also even if genuine, the visa might not be granted again or the appeal could take months. go with the other parents - I would!

**miffy** · 15-02-2010, 09:41 PM

I didn't realise they had asked for your bank details - think you're wise to be suspicious.

Hope the other ones come back to you quickly!

Miffy xx

**helenlc** · 15-02-2010, 10:20 PM

Originally Posted by miffy

I didn't realise they had asked for your bank details - think you're wise to be suspicious.

Hope the other ones come back to you quickly!

Miffy xx

The other ones said they would get back to me this week, so fingers crossed they do.

Even if they dont, I think I will have nothing further to do with the other ones. It all sounds a bit suspicious but if it is all genuine, then its only 2 days I am missing out on and I dont mind. Better to be safe than sorry!

I am always very cautious about giving out my bank details so as soon as she said this, I was trying to think of ways around it, hence thinking about the cheque. But as someone else pointed out, I know a cheque can also be used as part of a scam.