interesting

Pipsqueak · 12-01-2010, 07:26 PM

This is an interesting dilemma

http://www.*****.com/coffeehouse/l...os-charge.html

i think its awful if its right that the childminder is not taking any notice of the parent and that the child is excluded in favour of the minders kids though

**Twinkles** · 12-01-2010, 07:53 PM

As was pointed out in the thread I wonder if it is something the child has said that has been taken for gospel or if the minder really is that unfeeling and inflexible.

**nannymcflea** · 12-01-2010, 09:50 PM

That was actually quite civilised for a ***** posting about childminders!

Hope it is just crossed wires though between childminder/parents/child.

**miffy** · 12-01-2010, 10:00 PM

Hmmmn it's difficult because we've only got one side of the story.

I've been on the receiving end when a child has told a parent that they are not treated the same as others.

I did work through it with the parent even though I was very tempted to give notice.

I wouldn't want to comment without hearing the childminders side of things

Miffy xx

Pipsqueak · 12-01-2010, 11:39 PM

lol - i actually meant the dinner time issue - should the child stay at the dinner table!

I do agree though about the is the parent just believing what the child is saying etc etc

**Blackhorse** · 13-01-2010, 08:04 AM

I want the children to stay at the dinner table until we have all finished.

they dont have to finish their food and they are not foreced to eat what they dont like

but the are encouraged to try different things..

I believe that sitting at the table is a very important social event and we all sit togehter and eat dinner.
it doesnt take too long though....
i think most kids only get bored if they sit in a restaurant for example when parents have also coffee and chat for ages...and it simply takes for ages (at least that was when i used to get bored)
but having a meal and sitting down for 20 minutes isnt a bad thing...we chat about things and it is a nice occasion. wouldnt want anyone to be left out of this and dont accept them getting up before either...unless they ask to go to the loo or something.....

that is how i was brought up and i think it is right. parents luckily agree

**Heaven Scent** · 13-01-2010, 08:34 AM

I believe they should stay at the table - no they shouldn't be forced to eat but perhaps encouraged to "try or taste" foods. We all know how we feel if we are hungry and the same thing goes for children.

If you or I went out for a meal to a friends house and didn't really enjoy it would we leave the table and go to another room and watch the TV - NO we would stay at the table, tell our host if asked why we hadn't eaten much that the food was delicious but we weren't very hungry and we we'd sit and join in the conversation. Just normal common everday courtesy and that is all we want the children to learn. I also don't think it is fair for other children to wander around playing when others are trying to eat - I also see it as a safety matter how are we supposed to watch the children who are eating - sometimes we need to feed some and watch another child who is wandering round the house alone - some minders playrooms are not next to the kitchen so they would have to go from one room to another to try to keep an eye on all children. This would not be an ideal situation as it only takes a second for an accident to happen. Parents need to understand that we are in a slightly different position to them at home when it comes to our mindees - we have to work within certain rules and regulations set down by Ofsted and indeed out insurance policies so although we strive to provide a home from home environment we have to do it within these guidelines.

With regard to the dressing up situation - I don't truely feel the full story is being told there - maybe I'm wrong - if the child is feeling upset by being asked to sit at the table then she may be feeling peeved by the fact that the other two got to the dressing up stuff first? or that could have been the reason why she didn't want to be at the table - just so she could have the fairy outfit?

My children are older now but my daughter can be a right roylal pain in the butt sometimes I have some older primary scoolies and on Monday after school (& in the hols) I take them to Ceramic Experience and buy the children juice and toast and everytime my daughter askes and pleads for a hot chocolate which is £2.00 for a start and not very healthy - Now and again if she helps me by putting coats etc on or setting the table and helping LO's to wash hands in the hols I will allow her 1 but when the others are playing but she has to sit away from everyone else with a magazine and have it - its difficult because you don't want to differenciate between midnees and your own children but now and again your child may do somthing that requires a reward but I do try to avoid giving the reward infront of the children. School hols are the hardest actually because its their hols too and as I work full time its hard to find a happy medium.

Equally, somtimes our own children do need to get away from the other children so I always allow her to decide when she wants to be involved and when she doesn't - equally when it comes to my childrens belongings - sometimes they may wish to share but others they may not and that is fine - in the end everything eventually ends up going to the mindees for their use.