Really need some advise please

**little_gems** · 15-12-2009, 07:28 PM

I started looking after a lo in march this year. He was with another childminder and i started to make friends with his mum as are children our the same age. His mum asked is i could start having him insead so i agreed.

Things have been great and we're all gone for days out togeher and we're even planning to get away together.

Then his dad started dropping him off 5 -10 minuets early and collecting him 5-10 minuets late one day he was here from 7.45 - 7.00 his contract is 8-6.
I didn't say anything really just made the odd comment about being early and late.
All the parent no i have to leave at 6.10 on a wednesday as i'm currently doing my level 3. His dad rang at 6.07 to tell me he was late. i said we would have to come with us while my husband dropped me off and he would have to come and collect when he was home. (my husband actualy dropped him back) But he had told his wife that he was at home for 5.50 and that we had left early.Then on my birthday he arrived early again so i went down in my dressing gown and said "oh ur early i was still opening my birthday pressants and card"
that night his mum sent a message asking what time our clocks say as there seems to a problem telling the time which i replayed to i go off GMTV.

Since then his mum has been really funny when she has come to collect in front of other parents. And hasn't really made any attempt to talk when i asked if everything was alright she got really funny and walked out.
I then asked if she could come round tonight to clear the air and she said yes. She then just sent a text saying that she wasnt coming.

Sorry its so long i just dont no what to do. I feel uncomftable and i really dont want the atmosphear in front of other children and parents. I really feel i have no choice but to give notice as i feel this cant go on.

Pipsqueak · 15-12-2009, 07:37 PM

~Simple solution to the time issue - get a clock, place it by the front door and ask parents to sign their child in and out of your setting using the clock.

As to the parents being funny, (And I'm sorry if I offend here) - I wonder why the parent decided to switch from the other minder so readily?

Sounds like they are taking advantage of the firiendship you have developed - call 'em in for a contract review - formally, ask them that since you notice that they are arriving earlier than and later than contracted would they like tochange the contract times. I would also either give them short feedback form or ask them are they happy with your service and contract - give them chance to air their views and any issues arising.

**little_gems** · 15-12-2009, 08:25 PM

there is a clock on the oven so all parents can see it and they do have to sign at the end of the week regarding pick ups and drops offs.

I knew the other childminder and she was going to start chrging her more money and mum just wasnt happy and i knew the reasons why and the mum was right with her worries.

Pipsqueak · 15-12-2009, 08:40 PM

Gem I wasn't questioning your integrity about the change of childminder

I would get the parents to sign themselves in and out every time - drop of and collection.

As to the mother blanking you - well its down right rude and ignorant and this is YOUR home she is treating YOU like a piece of dirt in. Catch her on her own if you feel you can't do a contract review type thingy and just say you have noticed she seems to have something on her mind lately and would she like a chat. Thats the nicest and most diplomatic way I can think of phrasing it - apart from 'who the hell do you think you are treating me like this in my own home'

**miffy** · 15-12-2009, 09:48 PM

Sounds like they've started to take advantage of your friendship and now that you've mentioned the time-keeping they think you're being funny.

It can be very hard to separate business and friendship. The only way to clear the air is to talk about it with them but mum seems reluctant to do that.

I'd try and talk to her again when she drops off/picks up child and if she won't discuss it then you need to put it in writing with the options - review contract to show new hours, charge extra hours at x amount etc.

Hope you can sort it out

Miffy xx

**flora** · 15-12-2009, 09:59 PM

Ditto to the advice already given.

I have one parent and we have become freinds too.

They bascially take the mickey and it 's up to you to decide how far you want that boundary pushed.

Nip it in the bud asap before bad feeling develops and clear the air.

**little_gems** · 15-12-2009, 10:10 PM

the thing is we havent even brought it up!! thier the one's who brought it up!!

**little_gems** · 16-12-2009, 09:21 PM

well it's alsorted now i have given 2 week notice!!! I'm very upset it has to come to this.

**Blaze** · 16-12-2009, 09:35 PM

.......Whoops - posted the same thing twice!

**Blaze** · 16-12-2009, 09:38 PM

Do you think the Dad may be up to somrthing (extra marital) - hence trying to gain extra time & Mum either knows - but doesn't want to admit to it or has no clue & thinks you're trying to get extra money....? Just a thought - just put it behind you now & have a lovely Christmas.