Some opinions please on a tricky situation!

**Schnakes** · 02-03-2008, 10:12 PM

Okay - this is the situation.

Since my little girl left at Christmas I have a slot to fill, Mon - Fri, up till 3pm. At the moment Ive got its and bits that bring me about £50 a week, but they are temporary placements. A parent contacted me recently. They want a minder for their son at exactly those hours, only four days a week (which suits me fine.). Interview the family, it all goes well. Mums supposed to go back to work in May which would have been fine. Mum emails me to tell me that they want to use me...whoopee!!!

I then have an email yesterday: theres a problem. Mum has decided to wait till baby is a year old to go back to work full time. (October). I say - okay, if you want to save the place, you pay a retainer fee at x amount per week. Mum emails back and says they cant afford that so will take the risk BUT in the meantime, can I look after baby one day, every other week up till October.

Now if she hadnt have said about the one day I would have said "come back in September and we'll go from there". As it is, I dont know WHAT to do. Part of me thinks...reduce the retainer fee and give her the care for free, but I dont want to look desperate. The other part of me thinks...just charge her a deposit....but even then, it would be a lot less money than the place is worth for the next 7/8 months.

What would you do? I really like the baby AND the family, but feel that it is a very risky gamble - theres nothing to stop mum saying "sorry - Ive decided to stay at home" after all that time. Shes already changed her mind once!

Sx

**flora** · 02-03-2008, 10:22 PM

Sounds to me like they are just finding a way to use you without paying the retainer and possibly knowing that they are preventing you filling that space??

October is a long way away, so I would say you don't know who is round the next corner between now and then?
If you really like them and work where you are is hard to come by, may be say yes to the every other week care but make it clear that if you needed to cover all the hours every week for financial reasons then you reserve the right to do so.
May sound really harsh but you do this job cos you love it AND to get paid??
Good luck what ever you decide

**Rubybubbles** · 02-03-2008, 10:34 PM

TBH 1 day a week every other week would be a complete nightmare how would that help settle the child in ect ect. It sounds like by using you for these hours, she thinks your more likey to save her a space. You would have to charge a retainer for the week she didn't use you to keep that space, but then you are still under no obgilation to hold the rest open.......

I wouldn't do it

**peggy** · 02-03-2008, 10:38 PM

Originally Posted by Schnakes

Okay - this is the situation.

Since my little girl left at Christmas I have a slot to fill, Mon - Fri, up till 3pm. At the moment Ive got its and bits that bring me about £50 a week, but they are temporary placements. A parent contacted me recently. They want a minder for their son at exactly those hours, only four days a week (which suits me fine.). Interview the family, it all goes well. Mums supposed to go back to work in May which would have been fine. Mum emails me to tell me that they want to use me...whoopee!!!

I then have an email yesterday: theres a problem. Mum has decided to wait till baby is a year old to go back to work full time. (October). I say - okay, if you want to save the place, you pay a retainer fee at x amount per week. Mum emails back and says they cant afford that so will take the risk BUT in the meantime, can I look after baby one day, every other week up till October.

Now if she hadnt have said about the one day I would have said "come back in September and we'll go from there". As it is, I dont know WHAT to do. Part of me thinks...reduce the retainer fee and give her the care for free, but I dont want to look desperate. The other part of me thinks...just charge her a deposit....but even then, it would be a lot less money than the place is worth for the next 7/8 months.

What would you do? I really like the baby AND the family, but feel that it is a very risky gamble - theres nothing to stop mum saying "sorry - Ive decided to stay at home" after all that time. Shes already changed her mind once!

Sx

It is a gamble, I must admit, i would be very reluctant to hold a space open for someone that long without a hefty retainer, if the parent couldnt afford it then i would say as you suggested for them to come back and see you in September, you could take the baby on for that period of time, but as the other poster said it does sound as though she's wanting you to save the space without paying a retainer.

Could you not come to an arrangement whereby she splits the cost of the retainer over a few months or so?? That way if she does pull out before October, you would of at least been partially compensated for any potential loss of income?? And if she decides to stay at home come October, by then you would of been paid your retainer in full?

**miffy** · 03-03-2008, 06:58 AM

It really depends on how much you want this work and what you feel the chances are of filling the space between now and October.

I agree with the others that it looks like mum is trying to use the space as little as possible and hoping you'll keep it open for them - I personally wouldn't do one day every other week as I think the gap in between is too big for a baby and each week would be like starting over.

If you'd really like to have this family then talk to them again and see if you can come to some other arrangement.
Otherwise ask them to contact you nearer the time of mum's return to work to see if you still have vacancies.
October is a long time away and whatever they say they may change their minds so don't tie yourself to anything you aren't happy with

Good luck
Miffy xx

**sarah707** · 03-03-2008, 07:48 AM

Like Miffy says, too much can happen between now and October... tell them you'll let them know if you have a space nearer to the time

**ajs** · 03-03-2008, 07:56 AM

i was in a similar situation last year
mum visited when she was about 7 months pregnant
wanted me but baby not due until july going back to work in april
we agreed that i would have baby but not on a retainer then she called when o was born to ask if i would have her on a friday every week
she started coming at 5 weeks now nearly 7 months
to be honest i wanted her and knew that i should charge a retainer but didn't.
and to be honest i have had no enquiries to fill the space so i am really glad now that i know that from april 14 i have o mtw and f every week

she does pay every friday whether i have o or not and whether i am working or not

and although yes i could have potentially lost the money of a space being taken up earlier i am so glad that i didn't lose this little one was she is just gorgeous and i seriously don't think the parents could afford to pay the retainer fee as i hear now they are really struggling with mum off work

it's totally up to you of course but i'm glad i did do it

sorry i didn't see it say one day every other week i think i would charge her for every week and the options is there to use the space if she wants no i wouldn't do every other week that's taking the mick

**Tatia** · 03-03-2008, 08:02 AM

I'd play wait and see, as well. If you get an offer in the meantime, call the mother and tell her you're going to fill the space unless she starts paying retainer. I might consider taking baby on 1 day a week with the absolute understanding that if another opportunity for full-time work comes along, you couldn't do it any more (without retainer).

**yummymummy** · 03-03-2008, 08:16 AM

I have recently had a lot of messing about and changing of minds/resignation from work of mindees parents so I would be really wary. As others have said one day every other week would be a nightmare for bonding/settling in of baby. If it were me I would say something like "I cannot guarantee the place without a retainer, I will carry on advertising the place and when anyone shows a definite interest I will contact you again to see if you still want the place and baby can come to me then or a retainer will then be necessary to reserve the place"
I don't think you can be fairer than that to be honest.
Whatever you do good luck!

**crazybones** · 03-03-2008, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by yummymummy

I have recently had a lot of messing about and changing of minds/resignation from work of mindees parents so I would be really wary. As others have said one day every other week would be a nightmare for bonding/settling in of baby. If it were me I would say something like "I cannot guarantee the place without a retainer, I will carry on advertising the place and when anyone shows a definite interest I will contact you again to see if you still want the place and baby can come to me then or a retainer will then be necessary to reserve the place"
I don't think you can be fairer than that to be honest.
Whatever you do good luck!

I would have to agree with this. As I am a mum who "changed her mind" myself after the birth of baby and decided to stay at home and become a childminder. Luckily I hadnt prebooked any childcare before he was born and just went back for 3 months I had to and my mum had him. It is a long time between now and October.

Annie x

**sandy** · 03-03-2008, 09:18 AM

How about doing the "every other week" thing to stay in contact with the family but have a no notice clause in the contract until October, so if you get a better enquiry you are free to take it.

I know it sounds a bit mercenary, but you are running a business.

Best of luck whichever way you play it

Sandy x

**LittleMissSparkles** · 03-03-2008, 09:24 AM

Personally I would not hold a place for them till September unless they paid a retainer fee, they would have to do this anywhere I would think. I have had my last place for under 5's booked and they have paid a retainerfee until September when mum goes back to work we agreed a monthly payment to secure the place as it was alot of money and I appreciate its alot in one go, maybe suggest that if they really want the place you an agree on a monthly payment retainer fee ! My parents were so happy with my setting there dare not leave it as they said the next person along would snap it up and they wanted it, if the parents really want you they will find a way of paying you , I think they are trying it on with you and as you've said they have already changed their mind once who's to say they wont again. Also I wouldnt do the one day every other week either for them. But of course it is your business and you must do what is right for you xxxx

**angeldelight** · 03-03-2008, 09:55 AM

Just catching up but agree with Miffy

What did you decide to do in the end ?

Angel xx

**Schnakes** · 03-03-2008, 12:15 PM

Hi guys - re: the retainer fee - I have already told them they can pay it on a weekly basis, so it wont do much good to break it down further!!

I still havent decided what to do. I also agree that they are using this one-day-every-other-week thing to hold the space on the cheap....and that does bother me. As Miffy says - Im really not happy about tying myself to something so unpredictable. Its so far off to not be earning!!!

I think Im going to say its a no go. Im also taking a risk here in that someone else will want the space. I think Sandys idea about no-notice is a good one. Is it legal though?

Sx

**berkschick** · 03-03-2008, 12:20 PM

I dont think it is wrong to do that, its just ad-hoc care until the parents can commit to you for more days or pay a retainer.

I am certain you will get a call in the meantime and be able to fill the place, its busy round here at the mo!

**Banana** · 03-03-2008, 12:57 PM

Just catching up but no I would not hold a space open for free... there is nothing stopping them changing there minds about the whole thing and in the meantime you could have turned away x amount of enquiries.

I wouldnt do it. Tell them if you have the space come october they are welcome to get back in touch. The baby once a fortnight... I wouldnt bother. Not really even worth it but it could prove a nightmare for settling in. Not a great idea I dont think.

Let us know the final outcome

x

**Schnakes** · 03-03-2008, 10:33 PM

Hi guys - sorry to keep harping on about this!!

Ive been really busy today, so havent had time to reply to this ladies email. I was wondering if you could give me some tips about what to say in my reply, without sounding like a complete mercenary!! Im drawing such a blank about this whole thing...its really thrown me!

Cheers,

Sx