Male Childminders - What do you think?

**David Sheppard** · 29-10-2009, 07:26 AM

Hi all,

I hope Pauline doesn't mind but I'd like to throw open some questions, which could potentially raise some contentious debate. It is clearly very close to my chest - not least because I, and the few other men in the Early Years world, are very much in the minority here.

I have worked in some male dominated arenas and have seen this coin from the other side. Now that role is reversed I genuinely would like to know what you all think about men entering EY.

Do you think we should be trying to emulate the many excellent female role models, or bring something different to the table?

Are you uncomfortable with the more authoritarian, rather that facilitating, approach men generally have? And should men in this field learn to be more accommodating rather than direct?

Do you even feel that men should be here in the first place?

I would welcome all of your thoughts and would hope to learn a great deal from addressing, directly, the concerns or otherwise, you may have.

Regards,

David

**angeldelight** · 29-10-2009, 07:29 AM

I can not see what the difference is - apart from the obvious

I have no view either way sorry - how boring ha ha

I just see a male childminder in the same light that I see a female one its never bothered me in the slightest

I have no objection to there being male minders and why should we have?

What about you then David has it been a sore point for you - have you had woman childminders that have had a problem with it

Do you ask the question for a reason or are you just curious ?

Angel xx

**Straws** · 29-10-2009, 07:39 AM

I agree with Angel, I met a male childminder on a course a couple of months ago, before the course started we introduced ourselves.

When it came round to him introducing himself, he said I know what you are all thinking what is he doing here, he must be some perv if he wants to care for children.

We were all horrified as it never crossed my mind and am sure the other CM's minds once.

I would place my child with a male childminder, because I know males are just as caring and capable as females.

Straws xx

**sweets** · 29-10-2009, 07:44 AM

we have a male childminder as part of our group of friends and he is brilliant, the babies especcially love him! he works with his wife who persuaded him to give up his job and become a CM and he loves it. they are always full.

But please dont shout at me

i am sorry but if i was choosing a cm i really dont know if i would choose a man. i like to think i would as it really shouldnt make a difference but im not sure

if he worked as part of a team with his wife i would have no hesitation but if i worked on his own i just dont know!

sorry but just being honest.

**David Sheppard** · 29-10-2009, 07:47 AM

I do have a number of reasons for asking, but mostly because I haven't ever had the chance to ask this of a forum where the majority of contibutors are childminders rather than perspective parents.

I hope you don't mind but I would rather not write my personal thoughts yet as this might flavour the opinions of others who may contribute.

Thanks for your thoughts.

**Pudding Girl** · 29-10-2009, 07:47 AM

Originally Posted by Straws

When it came round to him introducing himself, he said I know what you are all thinking what is he doing here, he must be some perv if he wants to care for children.

I am partly sad that a man should have to justify his reasoning for being there, but also very very annoyed that a man would presume that we (women) were all thinking that of him. A lot of assumptions that don't do any favours.

There's only one local male CM and I've only met him once on training, not sure that he joins in much tbh which is sad. Mind you there's plenty female CM that don't either so.... ?

My views on male CMs are no different than other minority groups really. I think it's a good thing to have all sections of soceity reflected in childcare and education

**angeldelight** · 29-10-2009, 07:47 AM

Originally Posted by sweets

But please dont shout at me

i am sorry but if i was choosing a cm i really dont know if i would choose a man. i like to think i would as it really shouldnt make a difference but im not sure

if he worked as part of a team with his wife i would have no hesitation but if i worked on his own i just dont know!

sorry but just being honest.

Would not shout at you

I think a lot of parents have that view - just out of interest though what would put you off having a male minder ?

Angel xxx

**Pudding Girl** · 29-10-2009, 07:48 AM

David, may I ask you a question?

How do you find potential parents react to you being a male CM at initial contact? Do you think you get as many calls as the other CM in your area or do you feel pre-judged and that people don't call you?

**angeldelight** · 29-10-2009, 07:49 AM

Originally Posted by Pudding Girl

David, may I ask you a question?

How do you find potential parents react to you being a male CM at initial contact? Do you think you get as many calls as the other CM in your area or do you feel pre-judged and that people don't call you?

Good question

Angel xx

**angeldelight** · 29-10-2009, 07:50 AM

Originally Posted by David Sheppard

I do have a number of reasons for asking, but mostly because I haven't ever had the chance to ask this of a forum where the majority of contibutors are childminders rather than perspective parents.

I hope you don't mind but I would rather not write my personal thoughts yet as this might flavour the opinions of others who may contribute.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Very clever David !!

Look forward to your comments though

Angel xx

**jelly15** · 29-10-2009, 07:50 AM

Men can be great teachers, caring fathers so therefore good CMs.

**helenlc** · 29-10-2009, 07:52 AM

Originally Posted by David Sheppard

Do you think we should be trying to emulate the many excellent female role models, or bring something different to the table?
I think you should just follow a good example, regardless of male or female. I think every one strives to offer something different ie their unique selling point. What do you have in mind when you say about a male bringing something different? I do DIY in my house and have my own tools so could do woodwork crafts with a child. I play football and watch it and know all the rules (more than my husband actually!

) so could host a football game with my mindees.

Are you uncomfortable with the more authoritarian, rather that facilitating, approach men generally have? And should men in this field learn to be more accommodating rather than direct?
I have to plead ignorance on this one as I dont know any male child care workers so have not witnessed if they deliver themselves in a different manner. I did go to college with 2 men that were on my child care course. I wouldnt say either of them were more authoritarian than us females. I am more authorative than my husband in my house with the children. I know some men can be more direct and less accomodating with children but again I dont think this is true in all cases. If a male was not accomodating enough, then maybe child care isnt for him. This also goes for any females who are not accomdating as well though.

Do you even feel that men should be here in the first place?
I have no qualms about men being in the child care field. There are plenty of females who shouldnt be!! Nobody really worries about whether their child has a male or female teacher. I think it comes down to what you can offer, regardless of gender. There are plenty of dads these days who are stay at home dads, so I dont see what difference it makes for a male to be offering child care as well.

Hope that helps a bit?

**sweets** · 29-10-2009, 07:52 AM

Originally Posted by angeldelight

Would not shout at you

I think a lot of parents have that view - just out of interest though what would put you off having a male minder ?

Angel xxx

i really dont know

i wouldnt be anything daft like i thought he was a perv or something like that. as i say the male CM i know is brill, but i know him! and wouldnt have any hesitation of him looking after my child,but i know him quite well. it would be different with a stranger.

**angeldelight** · 29-10-2009, 07:55 AM

Originally Posted by sweets

i really dont know

i wouldnt be anything daft like i thought he was a perv or something like that. as i say the male CM i know is brill, but i know him! and wouldnt have any hesitation of him looking after my child,but i know him quite well. it would be different with a stranger.

I think a few if they are honest will have your view my daughters work in a nursery and they have just had a male student and a lot of parents were not happy about it

Maybe its because many are so used to woman being in this role and they do not like changes?

Angel xxx

**Pudding Girl** · 29-10-2009, 07:58 AM

Don't know if David or any of the other male CM here have found this but when I am at conferences/training and also when there is a male nursery nurse at school etc - some women seem to go gaga over them

very cringeworthy.

**kindredspirits** · 29-10-2009, 07:58 AM

I think that it is a prejudiced role - but one that should be challenged. My husband is my assistant and is amazing with the kids. I think some children would benefit from a strong male role model - but a lot of parents would think twice about sending their kids on the off chance that a male childminder was 'a perv' to use the other mans language - which in realitity is so stupid because 1) you get women in the childcare industry that can and do abuse - as we've seen in the news recently and 2) the chance of a man choosing that career option suggests that they are strong and self-assured of themselves to go into a female dominated area (which is often percieved to be a 'soft option' as a job.)

I think anyone that gets annoyed with a man becoming a childminder is frankly rather bizarre - its none of their business at the end of the day - if the parents want to use the service and the childminder wants to offer it then i don't see the problem.

JMO tho!

**angeldelight** · 29-10-2009, 07:58 AM

Originally Posted by Pudding Girl

Don't know if David or any of the other male CM here have found this but when I am at conferences/training and also when there is a male nursery nurse at school etc - some women seem to go gaga over them

very cringeworthy.

Yeah I have seen that ha ha

Angel xx

**LisaMcNally09** · 29-10-2009, 07:58 AM

i dont really have a view....we have no male childminders in my town so have never had to think about if i would use one.

Sat here now i would like to think i would choose between them on there own merits. Its hard though...i suppose it depends on the feeling i got when i went to visit. Just the same as a female cm. I certainly would go and visit a male cm...it wouldnt stop me ringing them.

Sorry not much help but an interesting question

Pipsqueak · 29-10-2009, 08:15 AM

In my specific area (that I support) of town - there are 2 male childminders - both of them work with their wives and they are fabulous within the team AND on their own. Both of them are enthusiastic, care deeply about what they are doing and I do think they bring something new and fresh - from what I have observed the women are the organisers of the team, the nurturers and the men - particuarly one of them is the 'go-getter' lets run round the garden and make noise, push you high on the swing (he is very aware of safety!).

Throughout our town there is a total of 4 male minders, two of them work alone and there is also another male coming through the registration process. My DH is quite willing to register as my assistant when I get round to doing it- the kids love him to pieces.

I have never had a problem with blokes in the Early Years and I would never think 'whats he doing here', I actually agree that there needs to be more fellas encouraged into it.

I have not come across an authorative bloke (in Early Years) - assertive and believing in themselves - yes! I find that men have more confidence in what they do and in running and applying their business.

I would have no hesitation in leaving my children with either of the 2 (male) minders in my area - as I know their practice and beliefs. In choosing a minder - I have high standards lol and there are only a few I would actually use (my youngest goes to one while I am at uni)

**tammerisk** · 29-10-2009, 08:16 AM

i think male childminders and ey worker are great idea i would love to have a male assistant with me just cause some things i just can't understand as a women and men can we are different by nature in the way we think the way we act and the way we react to thing.
i would love to change the fact that men are seen as the strong not emotonal type i find it very reasuring and comforting to find a man that is caring and emotional and not afaid to express his feelings or to 'cry'.
i would love children to learn this to presenting 'femanine' qualitiels and vise verse is a strength in my opion i try hard to be both but it is hardto and children need good role models for both male and female
and may be if more men were in the childcare feild boy would feel differently wjen they grow up and have children of there own about staying at home and looking after there children or taking on more responsablity when it comes to careing for and provideing for there children