what's the best way of dealing with all this?

**newandlearning** · 22-09-2009, 05:40 PM

I'm currently feeling really exhausted and odd... last week my DH decided that during the last 2 years he has not been able to love me and so he has now moved out.. its odd in a way as now I can look back and understand yet he was emotional or physically as available as I'd wished him ...

my mindee is still being a pain .. he doesn't want to go on school runs and says everytime we leave for a school run or we try to leave a toddler group that he's tired and so doesn't want to go.. actually whenever he does this with his mum she picks him up and I think he's looking for me to do the same and to effectively baby him.. but he is 3 yo this month, very stocky and heavy.. and I don't want to rise to this.

today as I looked out at the garden and saw him playing with my DS after school I saw him grab my DS's hair and drag him across the garden... I got mad with him as I felt with all the other

going on with him.. the mindee .. and with my DH leaving that I was not going to allow this type of bad behaviour as well....

what the

is wrong with the mindee .. he's been a pain for 3 weeks now.. since school started... and I hate to say it but I'm beginning to dislike him..

**jaja** · 22-09-2009, 05:58 PM

sending big hugs to you xxxxxxxxx

I am sure that with everything going on his behaviour is making you feel even worse, is it possible to take time off and speak to the mum bout the 3 y old and how he is, he may also be bouncing off you and how you are feeling as i am sure that you feel lost and all different emotions at the same time.....

Time and letting up on yourself, you are going through a breakup and this can be very sad and emotional time.........or happy depending on what the relationship was like....

Good luck and sending you lots and lots og hugs xxxxxxxx

**Trouble** · 22-09-2009, 06:41 PM

is someone doing this to him at school

tell him you will not tollerate this behaveuor and make him apologise

big hugsxxx

**miffy** · 22-09-2009, 07:06 PM

Have you had a chat with mindee's mum? Maybe she can shed some light on his behaviour. At any rate you need to make her aware that you won't tolerate this kind of behaviour from him.

With everything else that's happening in your personal life then perhaps a break would be good? Hope you're OK

Miffy xx

**newandlearning** · 23-09-2009, 06:33 AM

corr.. this morn I've woken up after a night of cold sweats and I feel awful... mum said she couldn't look after her 3yo today and I'm getting close to just handing in notice with him as I just don't know I enjoy him being here anymore..

I feel pants, I have to start sorting out my own stuff.. I think I will pull myself through this week and take some time off next week. I'm not sure if this mindee is picking up on me feeling low .. he's been a pain for weeks and I feel too low at the moment to have to deal with his

as well...

**miffy** · 23-09-2009, 06:46 AM

Oh no - poor you! Can you cancel? Your own health comes first and you can't help being ill.

Sounds like you need a break - sending hugs, hope you feel better soon

Miffy xx

**grindal** · 23-09-2009, 06:59 AM

In all honesty if you are unwell you should be telling mum you are unable to look after her son today - not asking her if she can look after him. I would phone her back - tell her you are too ill to open your setting, therefore you will be closed until further notice. I think maybe she has forgotten that this is HER son you are both talking about.

**huggableshelly** · 23-09-2009, 07:03 AM

a break is a good idea, give yourself time to relax sort yourself out and make a decission on what will be best for YOU.

Its hard to continue to care for a child who is hard work especially when you are feeling low which is totally understandable with what you are dealing with.

big hugs to you xxx

**kelzunique** · 23-09-2009, 07:05 AM

[QUOTE=newandlearning;532572]corr.. this morn I've woken up after a night of cold sweats and I feel awful... mum said she couldn't look after her 3yo today [QUOTE]

You need a day off! Take a sick day and start sorting your own stuff out. There comes a point when you have to. Think about it, if you came down with swine flu overnight ( just 4 example) you would literally be unable to work today and parent would HAVE to look after her child. Tell her you are unable to work to health reason - your very sorry ect. It can be a sticky situation, but if you dont give yourself a break, it could all get much worse. Sending hugz, and hope your feeling better.